,

Three big mistakes I made in my career (and how you can avoid them)

I wish I could hit the reset button on a few things I did when I first became a head coach. Here are three mistakes I made.

Mistake #1: I made assumptions.  Denison was 30-45 the two years prior to our arrival.  There was major instability in the leadership; I was the fourth head coach in eight years.  The program was struggling academically, athletically and socially.  So what did I do? I made assumptions.  The kids are soft.  They are ENTITLED.  They don’t care about playing winning baseball.  With these preconceived notions, I arrived with a sense of anger before I even met the players.

Correction #1: Instead of making assumptions I should have invested in connecting with the players.  I should have listened more and demanded less.  After I finally decided to get to know the guys I learned many of my thoughts about them were COMPLETELY wrong.  They were jaded.  They were hurt.  They wanted to be led.  You see the problem?  My approach was from a negative space; instead, I should have analyzed from a neutral position.

Real Life Application:  This week avoid making assumptions.  You know that person in your office that doesn’t talk much?  Have you labeled him a jerk?  Maybe she really isn’t a jerk; maybe she is just shy.  Get to know them.  Connect in some way.  Show them you care.  You know that person who hasn’t returned your call?  Have you complained that they don’t have the courtesy to call you back?  Have you ever thought maybe something major in their life has occurred and they simply forgot?  You see, we spend a lot of time assuming things that are the furthest thing from reality.  .

Mistake #2: I DEMANDED trust.  I arrived at Denison coming off back-to-back National Championships at Marietta College.  There are 375 teams in Division III baseball and we finished first two-years in a row.  I truly felt like the players should trust me based off of my past.  How arrogant of me!!

Correction #2:  You Earn trust.  People do not care what you know until they know you care.  Your past doesn’t equal your future.  I touched on the “Three C’s of trust:” character, competency, and connection a few weeks back (Coach-Ability, Trust and Some Nuggets from Urban Meyer).  Trust takes time and hard work.  Your reputation may get your foot in the door, but it will not create a high-trust environment.

Real Life Application: Take ownership of creating a culture of trust.  Have you missed opportunities to connect with your employees or athletes?  Good!  Apologize for your shortcomings.  A heartfelt apology goes a long way in creating trust.  Like me, are you expecting people to believe in you because of your position or past?  It is o.k.  However, since you have become enlightened start making adjustments in your approach.

Mistake #3: I thought I could do it all myself.  One of the first things I did when I got the job was I scrubbed the Press Box from top-to-bottom.  Next, I turned my attention to the field.  All of these things were done with good intentions.  I truly thought myself and coaching staff alone could move the baseball program forward.

Correction #3: Spend time building relationships.  Do you want to run an elite organization? You can’t do it by yourself.  In my world, you need the trust and support of admissions, the training staff, physical plant, administration, alumni, and the community.  Investing time in forging relationships is critical.

Real World Application:  Are there areas of your life or work that you should be trying to delegate?  Are you afraid to relinquish control because “if you want it done right, do it yourself?”  You can’t do it alone.  Use your resources.  Delegate.  Teach. Mentor.  Lead.

I shared with you three huge mistakes I made at the beginning of my head-coaching career.  I hope you can learn from my gaffes.  I have a favor: would you be willing to share a leadership mistake you made?  In addition, if applicable, tell me how you would have approached it differently.  I really look forward to learning from you.

/0 Comments/by
,

The impatience epidemic (and why embracing the struggle is more important than ever)

Have you noticed how people want all the rewards without putting in the time? We want the prize before the work.  We want the perks without paying the price.  Coaches: how many times have you heard this recently? “What’s the chance of me playing right away?” The same thing holds true in the business sector, “I want to make partner but I refuse to put in 60 hours a week.” We are missing the most rewarding and fulfilling part….the Journey.

The Impatience Epidemic:
We are officially in the instant gratification era.  Almost anything we need is a click or a call away.  We wait for nothing.  Technology has done wonderful things for our society; however it has come with a price.  We are missing the pride in working toward a goal; of encountering setbacks and conquering the obstacles along the way.  Our intentions are good.  We crave the end result, but we are not willing to put the time and energy into seeing the process through.  We want it NOW!

The Issue:
Our society’s quest for easy leaves us insanely unfulfilled.  In America, we have more and better “things” than ever.  Despite the surplus, the levels of depression and lack of fulfillment are at an all-time high.  How can this be?  Here is the issue- most things that come easily or instantaneously are not special.  We’ve all heard the line, “if it was easy everyone would do it.”  Yes, this might sound cliché, but it is incredibly accurate.

Embracing The Struggle
If you are fortunate to be in a tough situation right now be thankful.  Maybe you are facing challenges at work that seem insurmountable.  Be thankful.  Possibly you are facing the daunting task of getting back into shape.  Be thankful.  Some of you are leading groups of people who “just don’t get it.”  Look at this as a challenge and attack it.  The struggle is what makes us feel alive.  For a moment, reflect back to a time when you faced a really tough situation.  My guess is you can look back on this time with a pride; nearly a euphoric feeling because you conquered something that was not easy.  It took a sustained effort to win and you did it.  We learn a lot about ourselves in these difficult moments.  If you are in the midst of a tough time give thanks for the opportunity to make a memory.

A Quick Story:
Matt Buschmann made his big league debut in April for the Arizona Diamondbacks.  Talk about a struggle, as a late round draft pick Buschmann spent ten years in the minor leagues before making the “show” at 32 years old.  Here were his comments on his journey to the Big Leagues.
“The last three days have been just incredible, the outpouring of support and congratulations from friends, past/current teammates and family have choked me up more times than I care to admit.  It has certainly been a long road, but I realized a lifelong dream tonight that made every inch of that road worth it.  Of course my heart was racing as I ran from the bullpen to the mound, but the entire way I just kept thinking of all the people who have helped and supported me over the last ten years.  When you make no money and are grinding away, it helps to have incredible friends and college teammates like I have.  It helps to have a family that has been there no matter what.  It helps to have coaches and mentors that believed in you even when they shouldn’t have.  It helps to have a wife that puts up with marathon flights to small cities and not having a husband for 7 months so he can chase a childhood dream.  That debut was not for me, but for all those people that helped me along the way.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  And to the Arizona Diamondbacks, I will be forever grateful that you gave a YOUNG 32 year old an opportunity.”

Leadership Opportunity
Everything starts with the leader.  Many leaders are busy complaining about the millennial generation’s shortcomings.  They are focusing all their time and energy on how they, “don’t want to work for anything.” Or, how they have major “entitlement issues.”  While others are slapping “universal laws” on people we are left with an opportunity to do the dirty work and really get to know our people.  Instead of taking the easy way out, we can work to understand their point of view.  In my opinion, the problem isn’t entitlement it is a complete lack of impatience, which is understandable in our present society.  So what are we to do?  We can start selling the beauty of the journey and the struggle.  We can explain that meaning is often found in the moments of despair.   The millennial generation is craving to make a difference and be heard.  We just have to show them how.  As Virginia Tech basketball coach, Buzz Williams says, “It’s hard to appreciate the value of something you haven’t invested in.”

This Week’s Homework
Make it a priority to put yourself and those you lead in tough situations.  Demand more of yourself and others; create a struggle even if one is not currently present.  This discomfort is the edge where greatness and fulfillment reside.  Playing it safe and comfortable leaves us apathetic, and there is nothing worse than apathy.   There is more and more pressure from society to “take it easy.”  We know better.  We owe it to our selves and more importantly, to those we lead, to push them past their comfort zone and into the elite space of achievement.

Final Comment
Sports mirror life; that is why I love them.  This week as you watch the Olympics, MLB, NFL or College Sports please take time to appreciate the journey and struggle for many of these athletes.  Achieving at an elite level comes with sacrifice, failure and pain.  It’s what makes it special.  As Nick Saban says, “If you want to do something significant you better be ready for it to be hard- the difficulty is what makes it significant.”

P.S. Here is a link to a one-minute video that captures the essence of the journey of Michael Phelps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh9jAD1ofm4

/0 Comments/by
, ,

Coachability, trust and some nuggets from Urban Meyer

“Lead with the left foot. Don’t cross your feet.”  These were the words from my boxing instructor last July when I was learning the craft.  “Move your head.  Your just standing there like a robot.” Here I was, a coach for over 13 years.  I was the one used to giving the instructions…now the shoe was on the other foot.  When I was working the punching bag I was able to move in the correct pattern, my head bobbed and weaved, and I was able (at times) to execute.  But when I sparred it went all out the window.  I would cross my feet and oftentimes stand in the middle of the ring.  I have long arms and I would use them for defense; bobbing and weaving were out the window.  Basically, when the lights went on I didn’t do a thing that I was taught.

My instructor clearly told me what to do.  I knew the “right” way and I still couldn’t perform.  Did I lack coach-ability?  Would you label me as “uncoachable”? Could I  “not be coached?”

Of course this is just not limited to sports. You have a new software system in place.  You provided the training.  The software works really well for you; however, you have a few members on your team who just will not get on board.  In the education profession, teachers are asked to submit progress reports.  Your directions are clear and concise.  With that being said, there are still a number of teachers who are resistant to the change.  The list goes on and on.   Every profession has its issues.

In my profession, coaches typically resort to name calling or labeling in these situations.  Whatever the term used: “uncoachable,” lacks coach-ability, entitled,
“he thinks he knows everything,” etc etc- we basically deflect the blame and put it on the student.  We may go as far as claiming the person “doesn’t want it bad enough” or that they lack the intestinal fortitude to be great.

Yes, there are those students, athletes, and employees who just don’t get it.  They have poor attitudes and just are not going to change.  However, the vast majority of people are extremely coachable.  The problem lies not in desire but more in a lack of trust.

Trust
Ohio State head football coach, Urban Meyer, delivered a speech on developing trust at the Mississippi St. Coaching clinic (see link below for the full lecture).  As leaders, we all want results.  Before we get results, we must first develop trust, followed by commitment and teamwork.  Leaders have a tendency to gloss over trust.  “I’m the coach, CEO, owner, teacher, or manager- everyone should trust me.”  Guess what? In 2016 it doesn’t work that way.  Let’s look at the “Three C’s of Trust” according to Coach Meyer.

  1. Character- “Repeated experiences of you doing the right thing over and over.”Sure, we all talk about character and we like to think that we are “good people.”The people we lead are constantly evaluating; they want to know if we have their best interest at heart.They want to know if you are a person of your word.They want to know if you love your family.Character is living and breathing; character evaluation never ends.Also, character is telling the truth.It’s saying, “I made a mistake.”Well-intentioned leaders often sabotage their character trying to protect their image instead of taking the blame.If your people doubt your character you will never completely earn their trust.
  2. Competency- “Repeated experiences of them watching you do your job well over and over.” This generation can see through the fluff.They know if you are prepared and on point.Leading is exhausting.Every team meeting is like playing a national championship to me.Every time you meet with your team, class, or unit is an opportunity to display your knowledge.If you lack competency your team will lack trust.
  3. Connection- “the ability to connect with your people.”As we advance in age or title the challenge becomes greater to relate to your people.And, in an organization that is growing, the physical distance can also be difficult.If you are a CEO and rarely meet face-to-face with your reports, the connection will be lacking and so will the trust.As Simon Sinek states, in Leaders Eat Last, “Abstraction kills.”A quick way to kill trust is to have no connection.

First You Must Trust Yourself
There is one more layer to the topic of trust that is often overlooked: you have to trust yourself.  Please let me explain.  We coaches and leaders are quick to call someone “uncoachable” or “stubborn” when they don’t follow our instructions.  Oftentimes they just are not trained at a high enough level, yet.  Going back to my boxing lessons, I can promise you I wanted to do everything right.  However, once we went live, I knew I was going to get hit if I was thinking about “left, slide right” instead of watching for my training partner’s right hand.  It wasn’t me “not wanting to” as much as, “I’m not ready for this.” As the Greek lyrical poet Archilochus said, “We don’t rise to our level of expectations we fall to the level of our training. “

This Week’s Challenge
As we move forward in your leadership journey let’s be slow to label and judge our people.  Before we claim someone is stubborn, lazy or insubordinate- let’s first evaluate some things:

  1. Do we have things in the right order: TRUST, commitment, and teamwork, followed by results?Or are we expecting commitment, for example, before we have earned the trust??
  2. Analyze your Character, Competency and Connection.Be honest.Where are you falling short?
  3. Are you mistaking Coach-Ability with lack of Training? My guess is the vast majority of your people want to please and do things right.Your job is to create a safe environment for them.

Here’s the competitive advantage for us: the majority of coaches, teachers and leaders blame the players, students and employees.  They lack the toughness to analyze their shortcomings.  Remember, the leader sets the pace.  If you are not getting the results you want it is more than likely a trust issue.  What are you willing to do to earn their trust??

/0 Comments/by