The First Follower and Phones as Robbers

“We’re told we all need to be leaders.  The best way to make a movement, if you really care, is to courageously follow and show others how to follow”- Derek Sivers, Leadership Lessons from a Dancing Guy. 

Below is a three-minute clip that applies to many facets of life. I find it fascinating. 

Here are my big takeaways: 
1. Leadership can be over-glorified.
2. Make things about the movement, not about yourself.  
3. Be public and easy to follow.  
4. The 1st follower is the key: They turn the “lone nut into a leader.”

Quote of the Week

“I find myself worrying most that when we hand our children phones we steal their boredom from them. As a result, we are raising a generation of writers who will never start writing, artists who will never start doodling, chefs who will never make a mess of the kitchen, athletes who will never kick a ball against a wall, musicians who will never pick up their aunt’s guitar and start strumming.”Glennon Doyle, Untamed

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Struggling with Being Content and Lessons on High Performance

I have two things I would like to share.  The first, is a quick read which has impacted me greatly.  The second is a podcast episode which I enjoyed. 

The Businessman and the Fisherman

At times, I feel horribly ungrateful.  In many ways, I’m living a dream.  I hit the lottery: great family, friends, and meaningful work.  On the other hand, I desire more….more money, better relationships, higher status, etc.

Have you ever felt this internal conflict?

I know I’m not alone.  Recently, I found this 1-minute read by Paulo Coelho: The Fisherman and The Businessman. 

After you read this, please reflect upon a few questions:

  1. Are you the businessman or the fisherman? 
  2. What are the positives and negatives for both?
  3. Is there a way to blend the two?

The Coaches Clinic:

We had our first guest, Ohio State Assistant Baseball Coach Matt Angle, on the Coaches Clinic Podcast (Listen Here).  If you haven’t listened yet, the show has a locker room feel (including some adult language).  Coach/Leadership development is something I believe strongly in.  One of the best ways to learn are the informal discussions over dinner or a drink.  That’s what we are attempting to create; good conversations and questions where a nugget or two gets delivered. 

In our conversation, Coach Angle provided great perspective.  Here are four concepts I particularly enjoyed:

Having the courage to compete against the best.  “I was vulnerable enough that I was willing to lose. I’d rather get embarrassed and learn than win on the B Court.” 

Finding a way to add value and having awareness. “In my first collegiate game I had a bunt hit.  I was facing 97mph for the first time- I never seen it before.  I watched the other guys struggling so I decided to do something different.” 

The aura of Derek Jeter: “He was a genuine, good person who cared.  In spring training I got to pinch run and he says, ‘Hi Matt.’  He respected the grind of someone like myself who had to work to get to the Big Leagues.”

The Importance of youth/high school coaches: “Please don’t discredit where you are at.  You are the ones baking the cake…college coaches are just putting the icing on.” 

A Favor:

I hope you find these two resources impactful.  I have an ask for you: Can you send me your best development recommendation….an article, book, podcast, conversation? 

Make it a great week,

Mike

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Sports Parenting: Focusing on the Future Can Rob the Present

I’m concerned with what I see in youth and high school sports.  I’m not trying to be dramatic, I’m really not.  Why am I so concerned? I am seeing a culture that focuses so much on the future that the beauty of the present moment is being lost. 

We are obsessed with the next level.  Parents of young children worry if they aren’t playing good competition, they won’t make the travel team.  If they aren’t on a great travel team, they won’t be prepared for middle school sports.  If they don’t have a major role on the middle school team, they won’t be a star on the high school team.  If they aren’t the star on the high school team, they won’t go “D1.”  If they don’t go D1, then they won’t sign a pro contract. 

This mindset is upsetting to me.  Every team, season, experience, etc. has the opportunity to be incredibly special.  I’ve had high school kids tell me they are excited to get through their season so they can get to college ball.  NO….they are missing the change to do something special right now!

There’s no guarantee the future situation will be better than the one in front of you. 

Meet Coach Butch Chaffin:

Crooksville High School in Tennessee is home to legendary skipper, Butch Chaffin.  Coach Chaffin has been in the game for nearly 35 years.  Along with a HOF high school coaching career, he’s also a member of the TEAM USA coaching staff, has been a college coach, and a professional scout.  He’s someone who coaches at every level respect.

In his office there is a sign which states:

“Too many kids have been taught the goal of High School sports is to achieve an ATHLETIC scholarship.  Here is the truth: The goal of High School sports is to learn how to be a better person, better teammate, better communicator and to enjoy being a teenager…something you can’t get back.”

Coach Chaffin is a winner.  He knows what it takes to play at the highest level.  His concern, however, is getting kids (and parents) to be where their feet are.    

Words from a Power 5 Head Coach

A Power 5 head baseball coach told me he tells his players, “You are not going to the Big Leagues.”

This coach is a thoughtful person.  He cares deeply about his players. So, why would he say that? Doesn’t he want his players to reach the pinnacle of baseball? 

It’s because focusing so much on a future goal limits the present experience.  Playing high-level collegiate baseball is awesome.  Pursuing a common purpose with teammates can be life changing. Obsessing about something in the future distorts the moment.  If a player doesn’t get the role they want their mind goes to, “I can’t go the Big Leagues sitting the bench.”  The present lessons are lost with this state of mind. 

It’s healthier, more productive, and more rewarding to pour themselves into the present moment.  And, the chances of achieving high-level goals, like going to the Big Leagues, is more likely to happen if they are immersed in the experience in front of them.    

Sports as an Educational Laboratory

Is there a better educational setting than sports?  What if parents view the sporting experience as an elite educational opportunity? This mindset shift could change the entire experience. 

Your daughter isn’t in the starting line-up: this is an opportunity to add value in a different role.  Or, an opportunity to display grit and continue working to earn a starting spot.

Your son’s coach is completely unreasonable: I don’t know about you, but I’ve worked for unreasonable people.  What an opportunity to get some repetitions dealing with difficult personalities. 

Your child doesn’t get chosen for a team: Maybe this is life’s way of seeing if this is something they really want to do. 

Poor officiating: a chance to handle adversity.

Mean fans: a chance to display composure.

Bad teammates: an opportunity to achieve a goal even when you don’t like someone.

Playing in a big game: The gift of handling pressure. 

Sports is a classroom without walls.  The life lessons are everywhere. 

It’s more than an external future reward. 

Final Thoughts:

Typically, I live in the grey area.  I feel context matters so much that taking a hard stance is tough for me.  However, I am a firm believer we rob young people when we obsess about the future.   

What if we as parents took the approach of the Power 5 coach and thought: “Our kids aren’t going to the Big Leagues?”  What if we followed the advice of a legendary coach and reminded ourselves: “Let them enjoy being a kid/teenager because they can’t get that back?” 

Most importantly, what if we embraced all the highs and lows which sports can provide as an opportunity to help the growth and development of our kids?

If there was a course available which would help improve our child’s grit, resilience, problem solving skills, and help them forge long lasting relationships we would sign them up and stay out of the way.    

That, not a scholarship, is the benefit of sports.    

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