The Key To Great Relationships

One of my favorite times as a coach is the last game of the year. In all but three times in my 18 years of coaching that has meant a loss. It’s sad. It can feel devastating. But something magical usually occurs. Some player, in all the raw emotion, will embrace me with tears in their eyes and say, “Thank you.”

Through tears of my own, I’ll muster up, “No, I’m the one who should be thanking you.” 

As tough as the loss may be, there’s a sense of euphoria from this type of interaction. Why is that?

A Nugget From Jim Collins:

This summer I was listening to The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish. His guest was Good to Great author, Jim Collins. Collins made a statement about relationships that stopped me in my tracks: “Really, great relationships are where if you ask each person independently who benefits more from the relationship they would each say, Well I do.”
This simple definition was something I’ve felt for years, but never had the language to express.

I feel extremely fortunate. I have a long list of relationships were I know I’ve benefited more. ·     

The son of great parents. ·     

The husband of an amazing wife.·     

The father of four wonderful kids.·     

As a friend, to many selfless and caring individuals.·     

As a coach, who works with great young, men.·     

As a novice writer, with an eager and accepting audience. 

Do you agree that deep, meaningful relationships are central to living a fulfilled life? If we can agree that relationships are important, and Collins is on to something with his definition, then a beautiful secret is revealed: If we want to improve our relationships it’s a must we give freely. It should be our mission to add value to others, forgive quickly, be kind, be empathetic. It’s not about what we can get out of a relationship; instead it’s about what can we give. 

That’s the recipe for great relationships.

Final Thoughts:

Reflect upon the relationships you value most in life. Can you relate to Collins’ definition? Do you feel like you are benefitting more?
Please join me this week in being intentional about forging relationships. Let’s avoid the transactional relationships people frequently pursue. 

As Collins says, you can have a successful life without relationships. However, you cannot have a great life without them.

Mike

P.S. As I wrote this piece, I thought about so many of you. One of the main reasons I write is to stay connected to those I’ve met. As we enter the holiday season, please know how thankful I am. I hope you understand how much I value our relationship. 

Thank you.