Facing Reality: Not for the Weak

I am convinced one of the biggest competitive advantages lies in an individual’s or organization’s ability to face reality.  The best athletes, leaders, teams and businesses can analyze a situation accurately.  To help best demonstrate the idea of facing reality here is a sports scenario:

Sports Application:
Three baseball players are off competing in the summer.  Let’s pretend the athletes finish with the same statistics:

For those of you not familiar, these are less than impressive numbers.  It’s not uncommon for athletes to struggle in their career; in fact, nearly every performer struggles at some point.  As a coach, I’m not as concerned with the poor performance, my interest is how they process the situation.  There are three potential responses.  The first two are the most common, while the third response is optimal.

Common Response: Being Overly Positive
Player 1 is wearing rose-colored glasses.  When asked how the summer went he says, “It was awesome.  I played great.  The numbers weren’t there but I had a TON of bad luck.  I felt good.  I really felt like I should have been an all-star.  The coaching staff didn’t use me right.  There’s no doubt I was the best player on the team.”

A very common response is seeing things better than they really are. This is a defense mechanism used to avoid the reality that major improvement is necessary. If they admit any failure, it’s due to external forces (bad fields, coaches, and other circumstances). It’s really tough to improve from this position. Usually this person has major self-image issues and they are masking it by being overly confident and positive. It’s tough to improve if the person is unwilling to admit there is a problem.

Common Response: Being Overly Negative
Player 2 walks in with his head down and shoulders slumped. “I stink. The other players were so much better. I don’t know if I’ll ever hit again. I’m the worse player on the planet.”

Player 2’s response to adversity is the polar opposite of Player 1; however, it is equally ineffective. This person often defends their negative mindset by saying they are a “perfectionist” or worse, a “realist.” Or, they will say they want it “so bad.” In actuality, this is extreme immaturity. This line of thinking suppresses growth and development.

The Optimal Response
Player 3 is not pleased with his performance. When discussing the summer, he admits his struggles but from a non-judgmental space. He understands he needs to make adjustments and improve. “Man, I just couldn’t get it going this summer” he says with a slight smile. “The competition was really good but I can play at this level. Now I know what it takes. I can’t wait to start working.”

Acknowledging the situation for what it really is and being confident that the future will be better is the optimal response to adversity. Taking ownership of the result while preparing for growth and improvement provides an athlete with the best chance of reaching their peak performance.

Leadership Application:
Having the courage to face reality is a huge competitive advantage. Most leaders and organizations are extremely resistant. Facing reality is uncomfortable; it’s not easy to receive feedback. That’s why the most effective leaders I know are honest. They embrace the fact that they are not perfect, nor is the culture of their organization.

Below is an email from an executive I am working with to members of his team. He leads a highly successful division in a mid-size company. What impresses me most is his courage to welcome feedback in order to best serve.

“I think you have a sense of how much I value what you do and how you are as people and co-workers. My goal is to continually get better and I always want your ideas on how we can improve as a team and how I can improve. Please answer these questions (by individual reply) with brutal honesty to help me grow:

1. Describe a time when I eroded your trust in me.
2. Rank (1-10) how much you believe I care about (a) you as a person and (b) your overall happiness (not just in the workplace).
3. Describe whether you’d prefer more or less feedback/direction.
4. Describe any roadblocks that are keeping you from performing at your highest level.
5. Describe how I can support you to remove or overcome these roadblocks.
6. Describe a time when you made a suggestion and believe I dismissed it without giving it the consideration it deserved.
7. Add anything else that you believe can help me be a better leader.

Facing reality with brutally honest feedback is the only way to continually improve. It’s not easy for the person providing the feedback or the recipient. I want you to be confident that nothing you submit will affect our relationship whatsoever. I look forward to your (brutal) responses.

Thanks for helping me improve!!”

 

Final Thoughts:
Facing reality is not easy. In fact, most people and organizations are unwilling to do the hard work necessary. What’s worse is when the leaders think they know the answers to all these questions. This is a big opportunity for those of us willing to get uncomfortable. Every person, leader and organization has problems and issues. We have to first ask the right questions to clearly understand the issues. This is the only way we can handle these issues head on, otherwise, we allow them to grow in the dark. If we truly want to improve and pursue peak performance, it’s imperative that we take the blinders off and accurately assess our reality.

This Week’s Challenge:
Choose one of these three questions this week and ask your employees or players:

1. What is your description of the organizational/team culture?
2. Which one of your teammates or co-workers is doing a fantastic job that should be recognized?
3. What roadblocks are you facing and how can leadership support you to remove those roadblocks?

Join me this week in having the courage to face reality.

– Mike