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Stay Classy: Life Lessons Learned From a Non Drafted Player

Every now and then, sports provide special moments.  Friday night was one of those times. I was glued to the TV- the Lakers and Heat were engaged in an epic battle of wills.  And, the Tampa Bay Rays and NY Yankees were competing in a series deciding game.

In the 8th inning of a 1-1 tie Mike Brosseau, a non drafted player, stepped to the plate against one of the best closers in the last decade, Aroldis Chapman.  Brosseau quickly found himself down 0-2.  He battled his way back.  Around pitch 7 of the AB, I sat up in bed and told my wife, “we are watching something special.”  On the 10th pitch Brosseau put a beautiful swing on a fastball down in the zone and it went out to left centerfield.  The unheralded player’s home run proved to be the difference in the series clinching game.

If that’s not enough theatre, let’s rewind to September 1 when Chapman threw a 101mph fastball over Brosseau’s head.  The benches cleared that day.  There was a noticeable tension between the two teams. The day after being knocked down by Chapman, Brosseau hit two home runs helping the Rays strengthen their lead in the AL East.

Immediately after the game, a microphone was in Brosseau’s face.  The team was celebrating and  emotions where high when he was asked about revenge.  “How does it feel to hit a home run after nearly being beamed in September.”  Brosseau stated how that was all in the past; there was no revenge.  He was just enjoying the moment with his teammates.  Actually, he went out of his way to praise the Yankees, their pitching staff and Chapman.

I don’t know Mike Brosseau but I have become a huge fan of his. His reactions, and especially his teammates reactions about him, make me think he is a special person.  Here’s a few things I reflected upon following his big moment.

 

  1. Take the high road- Many people thought he should be thrilled to “stick it to” a player who took a shot at him. Really what good would that do?  The damage was done.  His positive comments about the foe were refreshing and endearing.

Could you look for an opportunity to take the high road this week?

 

  1. Find a way to add value: I failed to mention that Brosseau did not start Game 5; he came off the bench. When asked earlier in the season about being a role player he mentioned the importance of being versatile and being ready to lean into his strengths when given an opportunity.  He also stated how great it is to be able to add value to a special group like the Rays.

Is there a way to add more value to your family, friends and teams this week?

 

  1. You belong: Brosseau was a lightly recruited high school player who wasn’t drafted out of high school. He did not have the pedigree (or signing bonus) of many professional players. But he’s earned the right to be on the same team with some of the most talented players in the world. He’s a big leaguer, just like everyone else in the show.

Do you wrestle with imposter syndrome? Whatever conversation or room you find yourself in this week, realize you belong!

I feel lucky to have watched Game 5 on Friday.  The game was played wonderfully- both teams gave fans a treat.  I’m really glad to have witnessed Brosseau’s home run and more importantly be introduced to his compassion and humility.

 

Make it a great week!

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George, The Coach is Going to Play His Best Players

A friend told me a story that I’d like to share.

George was a freshmen collegiate baseball player.  He believed he was having a strong fall season.  In his teams first doubleheader George did not play in game one, and the 1st baseman who he was behind went 0-4 with three strikeouts.  In game two, he did not start either, but he did come off the bench and went 2-2.  His team had another game the following week.  In his mind, he had a great week of practice and was ready to be the starter.

When the lineup was posted for the final game of the fall, George was once again not in the lineup.  To make matters worse, he didn’t even get an at-bat.  Mad, frustrated, and embarrassed, George made a phone call to his father that evening.  “Dad, I’m twice as good as him (referring to his teammate).”  George went on and on stating all of the reasons he was better.  His father’s comment has stuck with him for over 25 years – his dad calmly said, “Come on, George.” With a slight chuckle he finished, “The Coach is going to play his best players.  I’ll talk to you next week when you’re done feeling sorry for yourself.” 

Avoid the Habitual Gripers:

Before my freshmen year at Marietta College, I received a letter from the legendary, Don Schaly.  The letter was brilliant.  In great depth, Coach described the challenges that lie ahead.  He stated that there would be times of failure and hardship.  In those moments, he challenged to “avoid the habitual gripers” that would be lurking in those difficult times.  These people would make you feel good in the short term, but would not be successful in the program.  It was as accurate as it was harsh.

Kids Nowadays:

We hear it all the time, how kids have changed.  They are entitled, only care about themselves and they pout if they don’t get what they want.  I disagree.  During my playing career I can remember some great people and competitors who were extremely displeased with a coach’s decision.  I, myself, wasn’t immune to showing displeasure. There are times that I regret my attitude and reaction to failure and negative events.  The group of “gripers” were attractive and welcoming at those moments.  Luckily, like George, I had parents that wouldn’t allow me loathe in self-pity.

It’s very natural for competitors to be hurt and even display moments of bad behavior when things don’t go their way.  It’s part of the growth process.  The key is having a support system, typically led by parents or guardians, who don’t allow the spiral to continue.  The support system displays love but does not enable.  It’s not the kids who have changed; instead, it is their support system.

Thoughts for Parents:

Over the last two weeks I’ve had three people reach out to me asking for advice.  Their stories were similar with the premise being their sons were not getting the playing time or role for their respective basketball teams.  Being a parent myself, I can empathize with their pain.  We all want our kids to be happy, especially when they have worked really hard.

I acknowledged that their child is going through a difficult time; however, it is an experience that is extremely common.  Almost every athlete, even the elite of the elite, goes through this process at some point.  It happens at different levels: for some in middle school, for others not until the professional ranks.  The timing doesn’t matter; it is equally as difficult.

In my opinion, this is a critical moment for the young person’s development.  Remember, your child will have a group of “gripers” they can turn to.  As parents, we must avoid being included in this group.  Sure, it will provide short-term comfort, but it won’t help them in the long run.  More than likely this will be very tough on you.  Your child may even be mad that you are not supporting them.  In actuality, you are showing the greatest level of love and caring by allowing the process to play out.  In the long run, trust that you are doing an incredible service to your child.

Thoughts for Coaches:

George’s story was powerful for me as a coach.  Let’s face it, there is more pressure than ever from parents.  As a steward of the lessons that can be learned in sports, it’s the coach’s responsibility to play the most deserving players.  And, yes, this doesn’t always mean the hardest working or the “best kid.”  The hardest working and greatest attitudes may not get the immediate benefit (like playing time) but they will reap long-term rewards.  Coaches must lean into the uncomfortable decisions even if that means more headaches and potentially losing their job.

Final Thought:

George credits his dad’s courage to have the difficult conversation with his future success as an athlete and person.  It empowered him to take ownership.  When things did not go his way he worked harder and smarter to increase his role.  This mindset allowed him to persevere and overcome obstacles.  It also made him grow up – his dad wasn’t going to fight his battles.

On the surface, today’s article is about athletes’ inability to accept ownership and the importance of their support system to “call them out” on occasion.  But there’s more.  Every time I speak, I often hear, “I wish my son and daughter were here.  They need this.”  This is understandable; the message does revolve around sports.

The challenge this week, however, is to attempt to hear George’s dad in your own life.  Maybe we need to reexamine or redefine our definition of “support.” Sometimes we need to hear, “Come on Mike, the boss is going to promote her best employee.”  Or, “Come on, you’re not getting the health results because of your diet and exercise.”

Have you blamed others for poor results recently?  Have other people’s attitudes been the problem not yours?  I’ve found it’s common and easier to blame others instead of taking ownership. However, taking ownership moves us from a victim role (reactive) to an empowered role (proactive) – now we have the ability to improve what we can control.

This week, I will challenge myself to take full ownership of my lot in life.  I will avoid the “habitual gripers” knowing they won’t be successful and happy in the long run.  No excuses.  No complaining. In addition, I will have the courage to challenge those I love when they are in the self-loathing state.

I hope you join me in the journey.  Let’s make it a great week,

Mike

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Wrestling with Judgment

This fall, Clemson football coach, Dabo Swinney, was facing an extremely tough decision.  His senior starting quarterback, Kelly Bryant, was playing well and owned a career 16-2 record as a starter.  Bryant was the back-up quarterback his freshmen and sophomore seasons to the magnificent DeShaun Watson.  Complicating matters was the arrival of true freshmen Trevor Lawrence.  The number one high school quarterback in the nation, Lawrence has the look of an elite NFL player: 6’6 with incredible arm talent and the swagger to match.  To start the season, Bryant was the starter but the freshmen Lawrence was getting significant game repetitions.

After the fourth game of the season, a 49-21 drumming of Georgia Tech, Coach Swinney announced they were making a switch at the quarterback position: Lawrence was named the starter.  A visibly shaken Swinney spoke with incredible vulnerability at the Monday press conference.

“It’s a bad day to be the head coach. Because I love Kelly.  It was emotional.  Emotional for him.  Tough day.  Because he’s played well and there’s not a guy that’s been, as long as I’ve been here, more committed to this program as Kelly Bryant.  There’s not a better leader.  The guy’s the epitome of what you want.  He’s what you want your son to be like.  I love him like a son.  So, it was a very difficult conversation and he’s very disappointed.”

Can you imagine being Coach Swinney?  Please don’t think in terms of a fan; instead, consider this from the human side.  Bryant has been in your organization for years, he accepted a glamour less position (backup quarterback), delivered strong results when given an opportunity (16-2), he’s a hard worker, great leader, and you love him like a son.  However, your judgement says the green first-year player is better for the job.  What do you do?

Rumbling with Judgement:

“I’m glad God ain’t a coach.  As a coach, you have to be critical.  Rank people. It’s hard man.  I’m thankful God ain’t that way.”  Dabo Swinney

I’m writing this article for any coach, manager, leader who rumbles with the idea of being judgmental.  Every leader I’ve met has struggled at points in their career with who to promote, who to play, what grade to give, how to distribute bonuses—the list goes on and on.

To make matters worse, the more elite the organization the tougher the decisions.  Think about the razor’s edge line that separates the competitor at a football program like Clemson.  It is no different than high-end talent in corporate America; almost every person within the organization is smart and hardworking.

If we accept the responsibility of leadership, difficult decisions accompany the position.  It’s a major part of sitting in the “Big Seat.”  Former Chairman and CEO of Intel, Andrew S. Grove, states in his timeless book, High Output Management, “We managers are required by the organization that employees us to make a judgment regarding a fellow worker and then deliver that judgement to him face-to-face.”

While there is no easy way to make difficult decisions there are some ways to help deal with the process.  First, I thought I would list a few ways leaders CANNOT make a decision.

What the Decision CANNOT BE ABOUT:

  1. Liking or Not Liking: the decision can never be personal. In coaching, while you may have different relationships with kids, you care about all your players.  The degree to which your personality connects or doesn’t connect can never dictate your decision.
  2. Potential with no results: There will always be players and employees with all the smarts and skills but they are not producing. At some point it has to be about results and not potential.
  3. Hard Work: hard work is a loose term. First, in most high functioning organizations hard work is common.   Second, someone can think they are working hard and they are either really not or they can be working on the wrong thing.  Regardless, hard work alone is not reason enough to promote or play someone.
  4. Age or Seniority: Seniority alone isn’t enough. Sure, the experience should help, but it doesn’t guarantee you a bigger role.  As legendary Cal Rugby coach, Jack Miller says, “all that matters is who can ball. Right here in this moment.”
  5. Comfort or what’s safe: “A decision like that could cost me my job.” Playing it safe and small should never be the reason for making a decision. If I’m going down, I’m going down with what I believe is right, not comfortable.

Three ways to Assist with Decision Making

  1. Clarity is King: Front loading the goals, objectives, measurable information and expectations are critical. Great leaders avoid being vague; instead, they are relentless with communicating both the goals of the organization and the expectations for the individual.  This can and should be accomplished in multiple ways but well planned one-on-one meetings is a powerful way to articulate the position of the organization.
  2. Discuss Results: If a strong job was performed articulating the goals, then discussing the results sans emotions is much easier. For example, discussing measureable date: speed, strength, on-base- percentage, and strike out rate are factual figures.  Sure, numbers can be debated but, for the most part, arguing numbers sounds a lot like excuse making.  Clear, accurate data helps make sound decisions.
  3. Using your professional judgment. This is where it gets tough for many.  One year we had a freshman who hit .180 in the fall.  He didn’t deliver the results.  However, every coach felt he was one of our best players.  I made the decision to start him based on mine and our staff’s professional judgment.  Numbers will tell a part of the story, but the human element will always be there.  A leader isn’t paid to simply analyze the numbers.  They are paid to make the decision that is best for the organization.

To Parents:

Sure, there are people in coaching positions that shouldn’t be.  However, the vast majority of coaches are good people who care deeply about the kids in their programs.  Their position requires them to be “judgmental.”  It’s tough.  They have to do what they believe is best.  Very rarely is it personal.  Coaches have different ways to assist them in making sound decisions.  For me, I am obsessed with making sure our players know there are no favorites.  I keep my head down around parents the majority of times- it can look “standoffish.” I know my weaknesses.  I just can’t allow parents feelings to affect my judgement.  Your child’s coach may have her own method that doesn’t make sense to you.  It’s ok.  Just understand they are human and trying to do what’s best.  That’s it.

Final Thought:

Over the years, I have agonized over the idea of being judgmental.  There have been several times I have come home and asked my wife, “Am I still a good person?”  I don’t like the part of the job that requires me to rank and critically evaluate.  Like Coach Swinney said, those are the times when it stinks being a leader.

I want to say thank you to all the leaders wrestling with judgement.  When times get tough, and they certainly will, remember that it’s not you it’s the position you hold.  If you were to step down tomorrow, you would not alleviate the struggle it would just be passed on to someone else.  Stay in the mud.  Stick with it.  Wrestle with the decision and do what you believe is right.  The world needs caring and thoughtful leaders.  Critics rarely know what it’s like to be in the arena.  Not all feedback is created equal.  You are not alone.   I’ll keep doing my very best if you’ll do the same.

Make it a great week.

Mike

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Win the Day

It was the fall of 2012. I was observing a training session of a major college baseball program.  They started the day with a pre-practice meeting.  The coach began by recapping the previous day’s practice.  He went through the positives and negatives in detail. Please keep in mind there was no outside opponent, he was simply reflecting on the teams’ goals and objectives.  Finally, he concluded by saying, “Did we win the day?”  All of the players responded back with a clear “Yes, Sir.”  The coach concluded by saying, “Hell yes, we won the day!”

In sports, the elite programs know the only real competition is against yourself.  Average organizations and programs turn their focus outward.   They worry about things that are outside of their control.  In college, these programs focus on another school’s new recruits, improved facilities, or increase in staff.  They invest the majority of time complaining about things they lack and how others have it so much better.  Elite organizations, on the other hand, choose to focus on things they can control.  Their investment is on effort, energy, learning, and improvement.  Winning organizations approach everyday with intent; their counter parts (the losers) wander aimlessly blaming things they lack control over.

Winning the Day Personally

 I have to get back to winning days. My days have lacked the focus and intent it takes to be highly successful.  Our baseball program is built on the idea that every day is a championship. However, I have not carried this over to my personal life.  This past week, I began focusing on trying to “win days.”  Here is the list of 10 things I try to do to win the day:

Ten Ways to “Win the Day”

Wake up before 6 a.m.  Brian Cressey, a leader in the sports performance industry, says it best, “Most of the successful people I know are really bad at sleeping in.”  Simply put, waking up early provides a jump-start to the day.  We often hear people say they wish there was more time in the day.  My guess is many of these people are not waking up early and starting the day off right.

  1. Make Positive Eating Choices. For me, eating clean is extremely difficult.  Like many former athletes, as a youth and even into the majority of my 20’s I could eat whatever I wanted and still feel fine.  Well, that has changed.  Eating poorly leaves me feeling tired and, quite frankly, very poor about myself.  Fighting the urge to splurge is a big win.
  2. Challenge yourself physically. A great workout is good for the soul.  The key here is to “challenge yourself” and not worry about anyone else.  Currently, a 3-mile jog is kicking my butt.  If I focus on where I was last summer or fall, it can drag me down.  I know what I’m capable of and I know I can get back in shape.  The important thing is to embrace the now, not worry about what I used to be, or concern myself with others.  Winning the day requires me to push myself physically.
  3. Invest time in growth. If I fail to carve out time to either read, write, or think deeply, I have lost the day.  A critical component to feeling good is knowing that you are growing and improving.   Be different, do not provide the excuse that you don’t have time or “wish you could.” Instead, find a way to make it happen.
  4. Schedule the day. Most people float aimlessly throughout the day.  They go from one “urgent” task to the next.  Successful people seize the day by dictating where they will invest their time.  Until this past week, I had gotten away from disciplining myself to schedule. I found myself not having time to read, exercise, and do the things that were important.  This week I returned to scheduling and BOOM…I started winning days again.
  5. Present Yourself Properly. “If you look good, you feel good, you play good.”  It is amazing what a good shower, ironed clothes, a fresh haircut, etc. can do for you mentally.  Once again, focus inward.  We cannot be concerned with the way others look and dress.  I am speaking about putting your best self forward.
  6. Experience failure. I recently was telling someone that I want to write a book and try to get it published. The person told me how hard it is to become published, the amount of rejection that will occur, and that it likely will not happen.  Maybe I’m weird, but I got excited about this diagnosis.  There is nothing like putting it all on the line, win or lose.  Most people are so afraid to fail they never take a risk.  They never feel alive.  As Theodore Roosevelt says, “if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
  7. Help someone else. When was the last time you’ve done something for someone else and felt bad about it?  I’m referring to doing something in which you expected nothing in return, not even a thank you.  Holding the door for someone and making eye contact, engaging the waiter or waitress, writing a heartfelt thank you note, or offering important advice are all simple (however, not easy) ways to spread love.  A simple way to help win the day is to invest in others.
  8. Mediate or perform a “Prime.”  A great way to get your mind right for the day is to spend some time in mediation.  What I suggest is spending a few minutes giving thanks, a few minutes giving energy away to those who need it (even enemies), and a few minutes visualizing your day.  Another great thing to meditate upon is any thought or issue that is giving you difficulty.  The best way for me to start the day and ensure a win is to go on a brief run or walk followed by a morning prime.
  9.  Clean or organize an area of your life. This is my biggest struggle.  I always feel disconnected in some phase of my life.  My office may be a mess, bills need to be paid, or my inbox needs organizing.  I’ve failed to mention cutting the grass or tasks around the house.  Investing the time to clean or organize one particular area is a great way to help win the day.

Here’s How It Works

 The above list works for me, it may not work for you.  I’ve chosen things that I can completely control and have a history of improving my mental state and production.  At the end of the day, I tally up how effective I was at each of the 10 things.  I do not have a set number (such as I must perform 7 out of 10) that determines if I won the day.  Much like the coach asking, the players, “Did we win the day?” I do the same thing. It is important to answer honestly.  You can’t lie to yourself.

Conclusion:

I needed a shot in the arm. I needed to get back to winning days.  Oftentimes, as leaders, we expect those we lead to be diligently improving. But there are times where we don’t practice what we preach.  This week I am going be very intentional and deliberate about my growth.  To quote the great Muhammad Ali, “The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.”

 

Let’s win the week.

Mike

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Positive Life Forces: Two Case Studies on Leadership

The Joe Burrow Story

On September 15, the LSU Tigers were in a tight battle against SEC West rival, Auburn.  LSU found themselves trailing 19-21 late in the fourth quarter.  Quarterback, Joe Burrow, orchestrated a beautiful drive which resulted in a game winning field goal as time expired; the final score, 22-21 LSU.

Hundreds of miles away, in Dallas, TX, the Ohio State Buckeyes were on the field warming up for their big matchup with the Horn Frogs of TCU.  On the Jumbotron scoreboard in AT&T stadium was the LSU and Auburn tussle.  The OSU players, staff and fans were seen celebrating as LSU came from behind for the win.  To be clear, this reaction wasn’t for LSU; instead, it was for their former teammate and friend, Joe Burrow.

After not winning the starting quarterback position in the spring of 2018, Burrow decided to transfer to LSU.  Transferring schools is never easy, especially in the competitive world of college football.  Amazingly, Burrow left on a high note.  Here were some of the tweets from OSU players when they found out Joe would be LSU’s starter:

“I’m smiling ear to ear RN (right now)”    – Mike Weber

“Yea…I see you Lil Joe.”    –  Jaylen Harris

“My Guy!”    – RaShod Berry

“I see you, bro!”    – Dwayne Haskins

The Hunter Pence Story

Hunter Pence is one of the most enjoyable players to watch in Major League baseball.  There is nothing pretty about his game.  His crude swing matches his rugged look.  He looks more like a mountain man than a baseball player.  I heard an interview with Pence this summer.  The reporter shared comments four rookies on his team, the San Francisco Giants, made about him as teammate and leader.

“Best teammate they’ve ever had.”

“You’ve always made them feel welcome.”

“Always had their back.”

“You’re the definition of a leader and the definition of a fighter.”

The hard-nosed Pence was fighting back tears as he listened.

Positive Life Forces

I don’t know Burrow or Pence, but they are positive life forces.  A positive life force is a person who positively impacts every situation they encounter.  Just walking in a room they make things better for those around them.  These folks are consistent in their effort and with their attitude.  Even in high-stakes and ultra-competitive situations they are kind and humble.

Positive life forces don’t have “bad days”.   As leaders, we should seek out these special individuals.  They are the people you want to go to battle with during the challenging times.  They’ll look adversity in the face and saddle up anyway.  Where they lack in skill or smarts they make up with toughness; not toughness necessarily in the physical sense (they likely have that too), instead it’s the toughness of maintaining high character every day.

Reflection

There will come a day when our careers are over or the time we have with an organization will conclude.  It’s important for us to reflect on how we want to be remembered.  Will people see us as being a good teammate?  A good colleague and friend?  Competent?  Will we be viewed as someone who was positive sometimes, but when things didn’t go our way, we were pouty and selfish?

Sports give us great examples to live by.  Both Joe Burrow and Hunter Pence have a lot to be proud of.  Sure, they are phenomenal athletes; they are the elite of the elite.  However, what I admire most is the kindness and integrity they display in challenging times.  Think about the way their teammates and former teammates pull for them.  You can’t fake that.  The only way to incite that type of reaction is to be a solid person day in and day out.

Make it a great week,

Mike

P.S. Who in your organization is a positive life force?  Have you showed your appreciation for that person recently?

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It Takes a Team

This summer, the Chicago Cubs were down to their last out and facing a three run deficit.  The bases were loaded for David Bote, a player who spent over six years in the minor leagues.  Bote was facing a 2-2 count when he delivered a game-winning walk-off grand slam that sent Wrigley Field and its fans into a raucous celebration.  The moment, televised on Sunday Night Baseball, was one of the highlights of the 2018 season.

A cool note to the story was the reaction of Bote’s wife, Rachel.  Rachel was not originally watching the game.  She was at their apartment located right by Wrigley field with their two children.  She stepped outside on the balcony with David facing a 1-2 count.  Moments later, she heard the eruption from the crowd.  Here’s how David describes it:

“We can see Wrigley Field from our apartment. She watched the rest of the at-bat and she opened the door just to kinda hear what was going on. She watched the hit and then she heard Wrigley Field erupt and she took a picture of Wrigley Field, bright lights and just listening to the crowd singing, ‘Go Cubs Go’ and screaming and she could watch it on TV.

“So it was kinda cool. Because she’s had to grind it out with us as well — six years in the minors. So for her, she goes, her words were, ‘Sometimes baseball gives you a moment to just sit back and enjoy.’ So it was really cool to hear her say that.”

A Personal Story:

I was an assistant coach for nine years; my wife, Lowrie, was with me for the entire journey.  Our teams were having a lot of success, but I couldn’t land a head coaching job that we really wanted.  Our first child had been born and I began to question if I was being selfish staying in coaching.  As you know, long and awkward hours accompany the coaching profession.  And, at the small school level, the pay-especially for assistants- isn’t lucrative.

I began exploring alternative employment.  I had several meetings with various people and professions.  At one point, I was close to pursuing an opportunity in financial planning.  One night, I approached Lowrie and said, “I think there is a chance I could make a lot more money and I’ll have more stable hours.”  Her reaction to this will forever be in my mind. “I didn’t marry a financial planner.  I married you.”

My Team:

All my life- from sports, to relationships, to coaching- I’ve been a part of strong teams.  There have been times where I thought I could do things on my own; my goodness, was I wrong.

I cannot tell you how many people have enhanced my life journey.  Any success or happiness is a direct result of being raised by loving, encouraging and demanding parents.  A product of my environment, the blue-collar city of Washington, PA is forever engrained in my personality.  Along the path, I’ve attracted amazing friends, from all different walks of life.  These friends have supported me in many different ways: listening, challenging, and advising.   My in-laws, have always spoke positive words and allowed me to chase my dreams.  Brian Brewer, the head baseball coach at Marietta College, brought me into the coaching profession.  Not only that, he encouraged me to be myself, despite my methods being different than most coaches.  A fun part of the team is the former players and coaches I used to work with; to this day they offer guidance and support.  Finally, Lowrie and the kids.  A common question often asked on job interviews is, “what is your greatest strength?”  My answer is: Lowrie.  She gives me the freedom to put in an insane amount of time and energy into other people’s kids.

Alone, I’m a dime a dozen; however, with the team, we are able to accomplish incredible things.

A Call for Reflection:

Life can move fast, if we let it.  We can become self-absorbed and live in our own bubble. If we aren’t intentional about recognizing all the help we’ve received along the way, it becomes easy to lose touch.  “This is all me.”  “I’m a self-made man.”  I don’t need anyone.”  This mindset can quickly lead to an inflated ego and a loss of reality.

This week, I challenge you to do three things:

First, think about all the people who have guided you along your path.  Better yet, I encourage you to write a handwritten note or call someone who has made you better.

Second, start thinking intentionally about your personal team.  Who are the people that are supporting your journey?  Who should you “recruit” to join your team?

Third, what value are you bringing to other people’s team?  How can you support another’s journey?

I love Rachel Bote’s reflection, “Sometimes baseball gives you a moment to just sit back and enjoy.”  Being a part of team, in all different forms, allows for these special moments.  Be intentional about building and supporting your teams.

Make it a great week,

Mike

P.S. My friend, and Denison University baseball alumnus, James Clear’s book,” Atomic Habits,” is set to release on October 16th.   I’ve read an advance copy and I believe it will add a tremendous amount of value.  The book is currently 40% off on Amazon. Here’s the link: https://amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299

 

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Water the Bamboo

The Story of the Giant Timber Bamboo

Giant Bamboo farmers plant a bamboo seed and begin watering the plant.  Everyday they tend to the bamboo.  In the first year, the bamboo seed fails to grow.  In the second year, still no growth.  During the third year the farmer continues to water the plant still there is no growth.  However, it the fourth year the bamboo seed grows 90 feet in 60 days!!!

Four Real Life Examples of Watering the Bamboo

  1. You are being extremely diligent with your sales calls. You are prepared for meetings and have a strong knowledge of the product.  However, you haven’t seen the growth in revenue that you expected.  Keep watering the bamboo.
  2. You set a goal to lose weight. It has been tough; you have changed your eating habits and have exercised regularly.  Unfortunately, the results haven’t come as fast as you like.  Keep watering the bamboo.
  3. As an athlete, you’ve put in the work. There’s been days when others have made poor choices and you did the “hard right” thing.  However, you are not seeing the playing time or having the success you expected.  Keep watering the bamboo.
  4. You are the first in the office and the last to leave. You care deeply about the organization; your colleagues turn to you when they need advice or help.  You’ve given your all to the organization, but others have been promoted ahead of you.  Keep watering the bamboo.

The characteristics of a bamboo farmer: patience, persistence and self-discipline are tough to find in our instant gratification society.  The question we need to ask ourselves is, “what are we doing today to help achieve our dreams 4, 5 or even 10 years from now?”  When the bamboo farmer is watering during those first three years it is very lonely.  Can you imagine what others who are less informed are saying about them?  “You’re wasting your time.”  “That plant is never going to grow?”

The challenge this week is to continue to think differently.  If you are following your dreams keep going. There will be no shortage of negative people who will find fault with your pursuit.  As Greg Bell, author of “Water the Bamboo,” says, “tell them to mind your own bamboo.”

Keep pushing,

Mike

 

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Are You a Critic or a Performer?

“We have two options: We can be critics or we can be performers.  But, we can’t be both.” – Author and Public Speaker, Michael Port

I used to be a critic.  Of course, I wouldn’t have labeled myself judgmental.  I would have said I was being observant or learning from the mistakes of others.  Really, I was a critic and not a performer.

For years, I wanted to write and share ideas with the world.  I feared what the reaction would be.  “Instead of writing, you should spend more time on your baseball team?”  “Who does this guy think he is?”  “He’s really not that great of a writer.”  I blamed it on the fear of outside critics.  In actuality, I was afraid of the biggest critic, myself.

When I made the choice to become a performer several things happened:

  1. I started doing. I wrote.  I made mistakes.  I learned a lot.  I failed.  I succeeded.  Instead of ideas living only in my head, I shared thoughts with the world.
  2. I ceased critiquing others. Instead of being in a judgmental state, I watched other performers with appreciation.  Exposing yourself to the world is difficult; I admired those who had the courage to be vulnerable.
  3. I lessened the critiquing of myself. I’m still my biggest critic.  I have insecurities, however, I’m much more forgiving now.  There’s a typo (big deal), I stumble during a presentation (it’s happens), I mismanage a situation (I’m human.)
  4. I began attracting other performers in my life. Performers will always have critics (more on that in a moment).  However, life’s current has lead me to people who share similar goals and values.
  5. I’ve been presented with awesome life experiences. Performing has led me to some incredible experiences that would have never occurred without being “a performer.”

Inner Space vs. Outer Space:

Most people in athletics know the phrase, “controlling the controllable.”  A baseball player, for example, cannot control the results, but he can control his preparation, his thoughts, actions and behaviors.  Athletes get in big trouble when they begin focusing on things that are not in their control: the weather, the coach’s opinions, the fans, the reporters…..the list goes on and on.

As performers, it is critical we focus our attention on our inner space and not our outer space.  For me, I have to trust the process of writing and being authentic.  I’ve learned I am at my best when I write from the heart.  If I focus on what others may like, or not like (outer space), the article is not as powerful.  Once the words are on paper, I have to possess the courage to hit send.  That’s it- I can’t control anything else.

Short Story:

Recently, I had someone tell me another baseball coach was ribbing me for writing.  “He’s telling everyone how to live.  Who does he think he is?”

Hearing those comments really hurt.  I let outer space effect my inner space.  The person’s remarks were my biggest fear; I never want to come off as a “know it all.”  In fact, the reason I began writing was for clarity in my own life.  Hearing the criticism left me dejected.  The comments, coupled with some other struggles, led me to having a conversation with my wife, Lowrie.  In a moment of weakness, I questioned whether to take a break.  As a baseball coach, I have plenty of critics.  Why expose myself to more?  What about our kids?  Is it fair to have them judged more closely because of what I write and do for a living?

It’s amazing how life works.  This past week, two people who I really admire but have never met, reached out to me.  They were impressed I had the courage to share my thoughts.  In fact, they were struggling with some of the same issues and my articles helped bring them some clarity.  These two men were performers, not critics.  They are the type of people I want to be aligned with.  These positive interactions put things in perspective.  It also was a critical reminder that it is impossible to please everyone and critics are a part of life for the performer.

Final Thoughts:

Are you a critic or a performer?  If you are hesitating to pursue something in your heart my guess is you are too critical.  Being critical can prevent you from taking risk because of fear of being judged.

Join me this week in pursuing life as a performer.  While it’s not easy, many of life’s rewards are found on the other side of fear.  When we choose to focus on our inner space, and not our outer space, we are freed to make bolder decisions.

Choosing to live as a performer will increase our critics (for proof, get on a message board of any major college football program).  The world needs critics too.  However, I believe God’s plan for me is to “be in the arena” not sitting on the sidelines.  I encourage you to join me in the game!

 

Make it a great week,

Mike

Questions for this week:

What are inner space behaviors in your profession?  What are the outer-space behaviors?

Do you find yourself frequently critiquing others?

What is one action you can take this week to become a performer?

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DANCING WITH FEAR

One of my favorite clips from the 2016 World Series was Chicago Cubs star, Anthony Rizzo, asking David Ross for advice on how to handle the pressure of the moment. “I can’t control myself right now. I’m an emotional wreck.” Ross, the veteran catcher, responds with this comforting advice, “It’s only going to get worse. Just continue to breathe. That’s all you can do, buddy. Wait until the 9th with this three-run lead.” Rizzo is smiling during the conversation. He’s dancing with fear. Watch Rizzo dancing with fear (0:32)

“No Fear!”

When I was growing up there was a popular shirt that read, “NO FEAR.” The idea was the highest achievers were absent of fear; in essence, they were “FEARLESS.”

Fortunately, we now know much of what we believed was true about fear is actually rubbish. Trevor Ragan does an amazing job in his TedX talk (17:46) bridging the gap between what science says about fear and how we normally discuss it.

Ragan describes how a part of the brain named, Amygdala, is built for survival. The nickname for Amygdala is “The Lizard Brain.” Its job is to generate fear to keep us away from danger. Every person possesses the Lizard Brain; to be fearless is not humanly possible. The problem with the Lizard Brain is that it cannot distinguish between real danger and a challenge. It interprets everything as danger.

According to Ragan, there are four common things that the Lizard Brain interprets as danger that are really just a challenge: Uncertainty, Attention, Change and Struggle.
• Uncertainty: We all know someone who cannot stand their job. They are talented and have a lot to offer. Despite of their loathing, they won’t quit. They prefer the certainty of displeasure over the uncertainty of the unknown.
• Attention: I was in a meeting last week. I was very unclear on a topic that everyone else appeared to understand (or my Lizard Brain convinced me everyone else understood). Instead of asking the question, and having the attention on me, I chose to stay silent. The Lizard Brain won the battle. It kept me safe, however, I didn’t grow.
• Change: The Lizard Brain will fight hard to interpret change as danger. Moving an office, a job relocation, new responsibilities – all of these things can be seen as terrifying. In actuality, they are loaded with opportunity.
• Struggle: If there is a choice between easy or hard, the Lizard Brain will want us to choose easy. If it’s between doing something right now or procrastinating, it’ll choose procrastinating. The Lizard Brain doesn’t want us to delay gratification. Instead, it wants us to choose immediate satisfaction.

It’s important to realize that we are not alone in this battle, everyone has these same internal struggles. It is our choice to begin building up the mental muscles to battle the Lizard.

Coaching/Leading Application:

“It’s much easier to hit from the 3rd base coaching box than it is from the batter’s box.” As a leader, we must remember that it is easier to tell others what they should do compared to actually being the doer. We must remind ourselves that the folks we are leading often lack the life experiences to win the battle over fear. Cracking a joke or saying, “there’s nothing to be afraid of” isn’t enough. Give them permission to feel and acknowledge fear.

Our job is to get them to understand the difference between danger and a challenge. “Is that danger or is it really a growth experience?” “What’s the worst thing that can come from this?” “What will you learn from this if you give it a shot?” Our goal should be to encourage them to build up their life repetitions. The current victory over the Lizard is preparing them for a tougher, more critical battle in the future.

Be a Doer!

One of my mentors and friends, author Rod Olsen, frequently says, “We cannot give away what we don’t possess.” I want to encourage you this week to challenge your relationship with fear. It is so much easier to say, “I know someone who could really use this information.” Instead of this line of thinking, I encourage you to look inward first. When is the last time you won a battle over the Lizard? This week, can make the choice to pursue the hard “right” thing and not the easy “wrong?”

Final Thoughts:

A few years ago, I had the opportunity to ask a big-league manager a question. “Skip, how do you take the pressure off the players so they can perform their best?” He just looked at me with a smile and said, “Mike, pressure’s a big part of what we do. You can’t take that away. You just have to learn to dance with it!”

This week, join me on the dance floor moving with fear. We are not alone. Elite performers, like Anthony Rizzo, are also in the struggle. When we feel fear, we need to refine the feeling as something positive. The fear is actually telling us that we are on to something special. Push forward. Keep going.

Let’s battle the Lizard this week,

Mike

P.S. Ragan suggests asking this question, “When has fear robbed you of an opportunity to grow?”

 

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