“Crossed Off My List” Understanding Monsters and Angels

My thoughts are cluttered from a trend on Twitter.  Coaches are getting tons of likes and retweets by bashing kids’ behaviors.  “Crossing kids off the list” has been the go-to phrase.

Had to cross a player off my list.  He slammed his helmet after he struck out.  I don’t want him in my program. 

Saw a parent hand their kid a Gatorade.  I want kids who drink from a garden hose. Crossed off my list.

Watched a team leave their dugout a mess.  No respect.  I won’t be recruiting any of their players.  They have been crossed off my list. 

It’s just social media, why are these posts bothering me?  Isn’t slamming a helmet wrong? Don’t I believe that parents shouldn’t coddle their kids?  Is it not common courtesy to leave a dugout in great condition?  Where is my frustration coming from? 

I’m not sure I possess the language to describe my feelings……here goes nothing. 

Why I Interact with the World the Way I Do:

I feel fortunate. I’m from a middle class family; however, I was exposed to things many of my peers were not. For example, I’m lucky to have spent meaningful time with leaders of industry: doctors, lawyers, CEO’s, and owners of businesses. Conversely, I  also know people from poor social and economic conditions.  Through sports, I’ve been able to forge relationships with people society labels poorly; some who have been, or later would become, incarcerated.

The wealthy are often stereotyped as privileged, pompous, and greedy.  I can confidently report, this is not a fact.  Some of the most caring people I know are influential leaders.  On the other hand, I’ve also met powerful people who are narcissistic jerks. 

Would you believe I’ve met drug dealers who are caring, kind, and smart? I have, and I admire things about them.  Also, I’ve met lower-economic people who have treated me poorly. 

I’ve learned color of skin, socioeconomic status, and job title do not determine one’s spirit.  I’ve also learned a snapshot interaction is a poor way to judge character. 

Being Part of the Solution:

“Monsters will always exist.  There’s one inside each of us.  But an angel lives there, too.  There is no more important agenda than figuring out how to slay one and nurture the other”- Jacqueline Novogratz on the Tim Ferris Show (Episode 512).

I refuse to believe people, businesses, or systems are all evil or all good.  I don’t believe one incident, one interaction, or one social media post accurately portrays character. 

Today, I challenge you to move toward a place of reflection and empathy.  You are an influencer and have the ability to create change. 

While Twitter may not impact your life, please consider the following:

  • Not judging someone because they don’t return their shopping cart.  
  • Not labeling someone because they drive an expensive car.
  • Not getting emotionally heightened over the news.

Can you be vulnerable and admit you are equipped with both monsters and angels?

Back to Baseball

Is slamming a helmet wrong? Yes. It shouldn’t happen.  But… what if that kid is experiencing something terrible at home? What if years of frustration exploded in a moment?  Is that a life-sentence or a teaching opportunity?

Should kids be responsible for handling hydration needs? Probably.  But….what if she comes from a split family and her dad is attending his first game. Dad wants to find a way to connect and offers a drink.  Is that the worst thing? 

Dugouts- it’s a bad look to not clean your mess, but maybe they haven’t learned this lesson yet.  A conversation can fix this problem. 

Final Thoughts:

Many of the best players I’ve coached have arrived with a checkered past. For various reasons, they were young men who could haven been “crossed off the list.”  They became great players and teammates.  More importantly, over time, their true character was revealed. 

I’ve witnessed beauty in unlikely places. I’m sure you have as well. 

Why am I passionate about this subject and what can you take away? 

  1. Avoid judging. Being judgmental leads to missing out on knowing and working with amazing people.
  2. Get curious. Working to understand other’s prisms is more effective than writing someone off.
  3. Develop empathy.  We must acknowledge monsters reside in all of us…..we are far from perfect.
  4. Have humility. Being thankful we were educated in a particular manner is better than looking down on others.   
  5. Search for teachable moments. Often times “egregious” mistakes (like not using the correct fork) can be fixed with education. 

Before we “cross someone off our list” let’s make sure we really know them. 

Mike

P.S. Here’s a link to the episode 512 of the Tim Ferris Show. From the 50-55 minutes is where they discuss the idea of monsters and angels. Tim Ferris with Jacqueline Novogratz

This is a core coaching philosophy of mine and one I touch on in the course I teach on People Development.

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A Unified Front


My memory stinks.  I do, however,  have a few vivid memories that I’ll never forget.  My first pregame coaching staff meeting comes to mind.
 
I walked into this meeting completely unprepared.  Just three years removed from college, I was still a player at heart. I thought, “how hard could this be?”
 
Brian Brewer, who was in his first year as a head coach, immediately took control.  “Deegan, give me your lineup.”  I stuttered and stammered giving my unconvincing opinion.  The other coaches in the room followed with their thoughts.  When I was asked to explain my thoughts, I had nothing of substance to add. 
 
That day, I learned how much time, energy, and thought went into the decisions.  We analyzed everything: from weather to the opponent.  We knew the starters, long relief and short relief if we were ahead vs. behind, pinch runners, right hand/left hand pinch hitters.  We discussed the pre and post-game meals, pregame routine… nothing was left to chance.  Voices would be raised and sometimes feelings were hurt.  We all shared a common goal, which was to give the team the best chance of success. Fighting was encouraged behind closed doors, but we were to leave as a unified front.
 
What I learned:How much time and energy goes into making decisions. The importance of being thoroughly prepared.Displaying the courage to fight for your beliefs.The importance in diversity of thought (Brew would shout, “I don’t want a bunch of ‘yes men”). To avoid taking things personally.When a decision was made, even if you disagreed, you did everything in your power to support it and help make it work. A decision is good based upon the process not the result. You take all the information, decide, and then whatever happens, happens. 

Perhaps the greatest long-term lesson was learning how much goes into a decision. I’m much more supportive of decision makers because of the experience. 
 
Times are tough. I’m observing as we try to reopen the country, restart schools and universities, and begin playing professional sports. I’ve witnessed a lot of emotion and anger over what should be done. 
 
I’ve leaned into my experience in sports to help myself during this time.  I can only imagine the amount of information that is being analyzed behind closed doors.  I can only imagine the arguments taking place in order to work toward solutions.  I can only imagine the stress and struggle of individuals and their families as decisions are made that affect so many. 
 
My Personal Rules:I assume positive intent from the groups and individuals making decisions.If a decision is critical to myself or family I try to get in the room.If I cannot get in the room, I try to have a conversation with someone who can influence. Once a decision is made, even if I don’t like it, I will support it unless it breaks a core value of mine.If a core value is broken, I won’t complain- I will take action.  

Final Thoughts: 
Coaching meetings changed how I view the world.  Now, I rarely second guess people and organizations who are working tirelessly to do what they believe is best. 
 
I am rooting for the world, our country, and our communities.  I am praying and thinking about the decision makers in political office, business, school and professional sport. 
 
I refuse to play Monday morning quarterback and second guess every decision.  I refuse to act like I know the correct answer when I lack accurate information.  I refuse to shame people who have different views. 
 
Please join me in supporting our decision makers.  Challenging times lie ahead.  Let’s resolve to do everything in our power to make this situation better.  Like coaches leaving a meeting room, we need a unified front. 
 
Negativity is in abundance.  What stops us from being an encouraging presence in our communities? 
 
Clouds are all around, rays of sunlight are needed. 
 
Mike
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Leadership Can Be Lonely

We had two big bounce back wins yesterday. While I am proud of the way our team responded, I still had a restless night of sleep.  Here’s what was on my mind:

  • Sadness for the players who didn’t travel.
  • Disappointment for letting my ego get the best of me (from the disappointing losses).
  • Guilt for being gone all weekend. 
  • Second guessing myself for various reasons. 

I could go on and on, but I believe you get the point. 

Leadership can be lonely.  To help myself cope, I used a simple strategy that you may find useful.  I began talking to myself as if I were giving advice to a friend. 

  • “Michael, you are doing the best you can.”
  • “Michael, if you did something wrong, go apologize.”
  • “Michael, I know where your heart is.  We all make mistakes.”
  • “Michael, come here.  Let me give you a hug.” 

Have you noticed that we speak to ourselves completely different than we speak to our close friends?  We would never shame someone we love for a mistake; however, we quickly ridicule ourselves. 

This week, practice self-care.  Do something you love to do even if your schedule won’t allow it. When you make a mistake (which you will) give yourself a break- you’re human and being a human is messy. 

Please do me two favors:

  1. Give yourself the same grace you give to others.
  2. Check in on someone who is in a leadership position.  Chances are they need your support. 

Take care of yourself.

Mike

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Staying Ready, Thinking Upstream and Toxic Positivity

Good Morning! My goal is provide value every Monday morning. As many of you know, the spring is my busy season. With that in mind, I’d like to share with you some quick hitters around things I’m reading, watching, or listening to. When things slow down, I’ll get back to the longer formed articles.
While busy, I still love hearing from you. So, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Here we go!

Stay Ready
I recently watched an MLB Network interview with former big leaguer, Charlie Hayes. Hayes spent 14 years in the show. Long time baseball fans will remember him catching the final out of the 1996 World Series.

“I wasn’t starting and I kinda took it the wrong way. It hit me that guys on the team had accomplished way more than I had in this game, and they had bought in to what Mr. Torre was saying. From that day forward I took baseball very differently. I cherished every day. I worked hard. It made my job easier when I cheered for everybody else because it made me forget my shortcomings. I teach that to the kids. Everybody knows me for catching the foul ball, but I didn’t start the game (he replaced Wade Boggs in the 7th inning). You have to stay prepared and you’ll be ready when that situation comes.”

After hearing Charlie’s interview I was reminded how an unchecked ego can be damaging. Even great people (Hayes seems like an awesome person) get selfish at times. When we lean into serving others, happiness and positive experiences typically follow.
My biggest takeaway, and the one I hope you embrace as well, is to stay ready. We never know when our number will be called.

Think Upstream
I’m finishing up, Upstream-The Quest to Solve Problems Before They Happen, by Dan Heath. My big takeaways:

  • While hard to quantify, problem prevention is better than problem fixing. So, how can we detect problems before they occur?
  • “There’s no doubt that our noble efforts to make the world better can very easily make the world worse.”

Please consider how “noble effort” can be harmful in parenting, teaching, and leading.
When trying to improve a situation, it’s a must to consider the unintentional consequences.

Toxic Positivity
A follow that I love on Twitter is Susan David. She introduced me to a phrase, “toxic positivity.” Here’s one of her tweets that has me thinking:

“False positivity should never be used at the expense of reality. Leaders need to face others- and the situation- with candor, compassion, and courage.”

As leaders, we must be careful saying, “you need to be thankful” or “stay positive.” Sometimes we need to recognize times are tough and acknowledge other’s frustrations.

That’s not being negative.

That’s being real.

To learn more about Susan watch her Ted Talk: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage or listen to her conversation with Brene Brown: Dangers of Toxic Positivity.

See you next Monday!

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Doing What the Game Demands

One of my mentors, Clint Hurdle, shared his wisdom on a Zoom call with our baseball team. Clint has taken the “dirt road” in life.  His scars and his triumphs are earned.  When he speaks, you are on the edge of your seat because you know a gem is right around the corner.

At one point during the conversation we discussed facing an elite starting pitcher. When competing against an ace- Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan, Bob Gibson, Greg Maddux- winning the game is a daunting task.  Clint said your only chance to defeat an upper echelon pitcher is to,  “do what the game demands.”

In baseball, this can mean several things. Here are a few examples:

  • The hitter gets two strikes early in the count, but he battles and drives the pitch count up.
  • It’s taking 3-1 when leading off an inning, increasing the odds of getting on base while simultaneously increasing the odds of striking out. 
  • With a runner on 2nd and nobody out, the hitter executes a sacrifice bunt or finds a way to move the runner to 3rd.
  • It’s fighting for 90 feet: reading a ball in the dirt, taking a HBP, drawing a walk.

Doing what the game demands isn’t sexy. It requires sacrifice. It requires doing things you may not want to do.  It requires doing things that the average fan doesn’t recognize and appreciate. Often times it may reflect poorly on your stats. 

And, doing what the game demands doesn’t guarantee you will get the outcome you desire.  However, failing to do what the game demands gives you no shot of success. 

Sports are packed with life lessons.  Couldn’t we simply say, “do what life demands?”  There are times where the odds are stacked against us (we are facing an ace) and we have to step up and do what’s required. 

  • Your spouse is asked to work longer hours and you have to do the lion’s share of work at home.
  • Your elderly parent needs to be taken to doctors appointments but you also have a plethora of other responsibilities.
  • You are short staffed at work and there are jobs that need to be completed outside of the job description. 

 And sometimes there are massive disruptions:

  • An unexpected death in the family
  • Loss of a job
  • Being forced to relocate 
  • A serious health concern

In these situations, much like facing an elite pitcher, we are forced to do what life demands.  Life demands that we sacrifice and pour ourselves into doing the right thing; not what is most comfortable and self-serving.    

In baseball, every team eventually runs into an ace. It’s inevitable.  In life, we will all face challenging circumstances- that’s inevitable too.  Facing a dominant pitcher reveals the character of the team.  Will they fight? Will they compete?  Facing challenging times in life reveals character as well. Will we stand up? Will we do what’s necessary?

When the Phillies are facing the Met’s Jake deGrom (arguably the best pitcher in baseball) they can’t cancel the game.  They have to figure out what the game demands and execute.

When adversity strikes in life, we can’t quit.  We have to step up for those we love. 

2020 is like facing an ace.  Let’s take the challenge to do what life demands.

Mike

Reflection Question: What is life demanding of you right now?

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USWNT, Super Bowl Champs, and the Sigmoid Curve

“Mountaintops are small and the air is thin for a reason.  Because you are not supposed to dwell- it’s rented space.  You enjoy the view briefly then it’s time to climb again”- Jill Ellis

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the Super Bowl champions.  After watching Jill Ellis’ episode from the Netflix documentary, “The Playbook,” and learning the about the Sigmoid Curve, I’m curious how the champs will handle their success. 

Jill Ellis led the USWNT to the World Cup in 2015.  It was her first full year on the job.  The players and fans equally loved her. According to her, “We were feeling pretty good about ourselves.” 

Following the historic run, she had to rally the group to prepare for the 2016 Olympics.  Despite her best efforts, the team struggled.  They lost on penalty kicks to Sweden in the quarterfinals.  It was the first time the USWNT failed to make it to the Olympic semifinals. Ellis called it a “massive wake-up call.” 

Following the games, Ellis decided change was necessary.  She had the awareness to realize that Sweden developed a blueprint for how to play the US. “We needed a hard reboot.” She made the difficult decision to find new players and remove others.  In addition, she knew they would have to schedule the best competition in the world in order to improve.    

Not surprisingly, the team struggled.  The USWNT was used to winning.  Now, they were losing, which amplified the negativity around Ellis’ tough decisions. In her heart, she knew she was doing the right thing.  Eventually, the team came together.  In 2019, they won the World Cup again. 

The Sigmoid Curve is when we are at the top of our game it’s time to change our game.  It’s counterintuitive. Coach Ellis made moves coming off a World Cup championship.  She made controversial decisions when it would have been easier to stay the same.  It came with criticism.  However, I don’t think they win back-back- cups without changing the game. 

It’s much easier to be the hunter than the hunted.  While the champions are celebrating, the competition is studying, preparing and training for the next season.  To stay on top is a real challenge. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Super Bowl champs.  They’ve earned the right to admire the view. The trail was rocky and the weather was harsh.  To get to the pinnacle and not witness its beauty would be disrespectful.    

The question for me is when is it time to come down?  Some people need just a quick peak and they are ready to return.  Others may need to drink it in a little longer.  There’s no exact formula.  However, we must remember, the air is thin at the top for a reason. 

Just like most of the things I write about, I don’t have the answers.  This is just a reminder for me, and hopefully you as well.  It’s important to celebrate our success.  But not for too long. 

Questions to Consider:

What’s your default? Staying on top of the mountain for too long? Or, do you have a tendency to never take in the view? 

How can you encourage your team to celebrate their success while also realizing there still tough work ahead? 

Is it possible to enjoy your climb even if you don’t reach the summit?  Is it more about the destination or the journey?

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Shoot Your Shot: Thoughts on Andy Reid’s Decision

CBS football analyst, Tony Romo, is a football savant. It’s like he’s watching a replay of the game and the viewers are seeing it for the first time.  His predictions are never wrong. That is, until last Sunday.

The Kansas City Chiefs were holding a 5-point lead over the Cleveland Browns.  Their star quarterback, Patrick Mahomes, was sidelined after sustaining a concussion.  The momentum was in the Browns favor.  Facing a 4th and inches with 1:15 remaining the Chiefs head coach, Andy Reid, had a choice:

  • Punt and force the Browns to drive the length of the field with no timeouts…or
  • Go for the first down and try to win the game. 

Reid sent his offense onto the field. In the booth, Romo explained how the Chiefs were going to create motion and try to draw the Browns offside. He commented on how they wouldn’t run a play-they would likely take a timeout and punt. In the middle of his sentence, the Chiefs did the unthinkable…..they snapped the ball.  Journeyman quarterback, Chad Henne, threw a short pass for the first down.  The shocking call solidified the win.  

If Reid would have chosen to punt, no one would have criticized.  The Browns would have gained possession with poor field position, no timeouts and roughly a minute to play.  The safe play was to punt. 

In fairness, the game of football has embraced analytics more recently.  The numbers frequently show the team should go for it on 4th and short and not punt.  However, I still don’t know many, if any, coaches who would have went for it in this situation; let alone with their backup QB throwing a pass!

How did Kansas City Chief Head Coach make the decision to pass on 4th and inches with the game on the line?  What allows someone to make a call that goes against popular opinion? 

I’d love to take Andy Reid to lunch and ask him about his decision.  I refuse to believe it’s as simple as him being a riverboat gambler.  I also don’t believe it was him relying on straight data and analytics.  I believe it’s deeper than that. 

For what it’s worth, I believe it came down to the capital he’s built.  He has been a head coach for 22 years.  In his 8 years with the Chiefs, he has a .711 winning percentage including winning the Super Bowl last season.  To put that in perspective, the coach often regarded as the best ever, Bill Belichick, has a winning percentage only slightly better with the New England Patriots (.726).

Longevity alone, however, doesn’t buy you capital. It was clear in the post-game interviews how much the players believed in their coach and each other.  Decisions, as it turns out, have a much greater chance of success if the ones executing believe in the plan.  There is also the capital with the front office and ownership.  It’s not simply their words.  There’s a feeling when you know you are fully supported from those above you.  Recency effect also plays a part; winning the Super Bowl last year helps. The fans and media are more lenient with a recent winner. 

What can we learn from this? First, how can a leader expedite the process of gaining capital? It’s critical to identify the key stakeholders and begin intentionally building trust.  Every behavior is either deposit or withdrawal.. 

Second, if we are in management or the front office, how can we provide the support to allow our leaders to make real-time, bold decisions.  In other words, is there a way to empower boldness from a leader who’s lacking the pedigree?  I’m convinced, a rookie head coach could not have made this controversial decision.

Making decisions is a requirement for leaders. Do we want leaders to go rogue, dismiss data, and always “go with their gut?” Of course not.  Do we want them to always play the percentages knowing over time the odds win?  Heck no. Do we make the call based off optics alone? I don’t think so. 

We can never forget that sports and business are “played” by real people.  People are messy.  Life is messy.  Situations are complex. 

Feel is real.  Call it what you want: gut instinct; intuition. I call it information that can’t be quantified.  Things such as the look in the collective defense’s eyes saying, “we can’t stop this team.” A few guys who are hurt or injured. Knowing the tendency of the officiating crew to call pass interference.  Just because it is hard or impossible to measure doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. 

One final thing, once we’ve built up the capital we must display the courage to use it.  We won’t have the capital forever.  For example, if Henne’s pass would have fallen incomplete, Reid’s capital would have suffered.  The media would have crushed him, some players would have questioned the call, and I’m sure he would have received feedback from the front office.  Things would have been different next year.

I guess the bottom line is this: you need the support of everyone involved to make your best decisions. In order to gain this trust, there must be a track-record of positive interactions and outcomes.  And, once that capital is earned it’s having the courage to shoot your shot!!

Andy Reid did, so can you and I.

I’ve watched the clip of this play 100 times. At first, I thought they caught the Browns off guard.  They really didn’t.  It wasn’t like Tyreek Hill was standing wide open.  He had to beat his man and Henne had to trust the route. They executed the play.  My fascination stems from how easily that play could have not worked. How easily the Browns could have taken over possession at midfield.  How harshly this decision would have been criticized.

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Getting over the Hump

Years ago, I was a solid racquetball player. One of our other assistant coaches, Sam Mann, began playing.  Sam was a strong athlete, fresh out of playing professional baseball.  We’d compete, and I would beat him soundly.  He caught the racquetball bug and started playing frequently.  It went from easy wins to us playing close matches.  Soon he would have me down big, but the old veteran would sneak out a win.  He was frustrated. I knew, however, my winning days were numbered. 

Eventually, he beat me.  Here’s the crazy thing: we probably played 10-15 times after that.  I never won again.  He got over the hump and never looked back. 

Last week, I was reminded of this story watching the Cleveland Browns beat the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Entering their two most recent matchups, the Browns were 7-42-1 since 1994 against their rivals.

The Browns, in my opinion, have possessed the better roster for a few years. Despite their talent, they still struggled to overcome the Steelers.  Things looked bleak again this year. In the October matchup, they were embarrassed 38-7. 

Over the course of the season the Browns continued to improve.  Entering the regular season finale, they needed to beat the Steelers in order to qualify for their first playoff game in 18 years.  The Steelers had already secured a playoff appearance- the game would not affect their situation.  With this information in mind, the Steelers decided to rest several of their key players. 

The Browns narrowly won the game versus what many skeptics called the “Steeler’s JV Team,” 28-24.  The win put the Browns in the playoffs. Even more interesting, it set up another matchup with the Steelers. 

Despite several players being injured and their Head Coach, Kevin Stefanski, unavailable  because of COVID-19- the Browns won the playoff game in a convincing fashion.  

They finally overcame their nemesis. 

Reflection Opportunity

There are two lessons to consider from these stories: 

Lesson 1: Stay on the Gas.  Winning is a habit; so is losing.  Acquiring the talent and resources is the easy part. Overcoming the mental hurdle is the major obstacle.  “Mind control” over your opponent is hard earned.  It’s important to do whatever is possible (within the rules of course) to keep the edge.  The Steelers made the choice to rest starters; a sound decision on the surface.  Could that decision, however, have given the Browns a slight mental edge?

Lesson 2: Keep Knocking. The path to greatness is rarely a linear process.  To overcome the inevitable setbacks, resilience is necessary. It’s important to keep showing up and chipping away. Sometimes it feels impossible. It’s not.  It does take grit and perseverance to achieve meaningful goals. So often teams, organizations, and individuals quit right before their breakthrough.    

Final Thought:

I encourage you to keep charging forward.  If you have an edge, fight to keep it.  If you are chasing, keep pounding the rock. Your big victory is right around the corner!

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One Question That Builds Team Loyalty

Recently, I attended a workshop on Servant Leadership hosted by Paul Scanlon.  Besides being the best orator I’ve witnessed, Paul’s content was phenomenal. He took shots at nearly every profession represented in the room: bankers, politicians, educators and clergy members.  However, he walked the fine line of honesty and candor without making it personal. 

Paul was on the topic of building committed teams when he dropped the nugget of the night.  He asked, “how do you build loyalty within your team?” I was on the edge of my seat waiting for a long answer.  He responded with, “Ask someone, ‘How’s your momma doing’?” 

His statement sent me back nearly a decade ago when I was on a job interview.  Somehow the topic of my parents came up and I mentioned my father was deceased.  The interviewer sat back and with a welcoming smile said, “Tell me about your dad.”

Despite the job having many problems and clearly not a fit for me, I almost took the position.  Why? Because I felt a tremendous connection with the person interviewing. Her willingness to break the pattern of a typical interview, take a risk, and connect was powerful.

Our world is moving fast.  Automation, science and data have changed the landscape of nearly every business.  While information is being exchanged at warp speed it’s important to remember that humans need connection. 

I believe the organizations that can maintain the human touch will be ones that thrive in the years to come.  Sure, advancement in technology is important, but nothing can motivate, inspire, and create loyalty like a warm smile, a friendly pat on the back, or an inquisitive question. 

Paul challenged the audience, “lift your chin and realize there is a human on the other side.”  I challenge you to do the same this week. Let’s put the devices down and sit across from someone we care about and ask with genuine curiosity, “How’s your momma doing?” 

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In Times of Uncertainty Control the Controllable

 (This article was orginally posted on July 6, 2020)

What an interesting time!  There are high levels of fear, anxiety, distrust, and skepticism. People are worried about the future.

  • Are we going to face another shut down?
  • Will schools reopen in the fall? 
  • What will happen if I lose my job? 
  • Will professional sports ever be the same?

In the recent months, I’ve witnessed people obsessing about things they have little or no control over. I’ve been guilty of this.  While watching a 10u baseball game I was reminded of an important lesson: control the controllable.    

Lessons from the Sandlot:
There are several ways to describe the first year of kid pitch baseball- slow, agonizing, boring- to name a few.  What I’ve noticed is the extreme emotional output on the child who is pitching.  They are an emotional wreck!  Most of them don’t understand that several factors are outside of their control.. 

  • If the batter chooses to swing.
  • If the batter crushes a home run.
  • If the umpire calls the pitch a ball or strike.
  • If the fielder catches the baseball. 
  • If your coach, mom, or dad yells at you. 

At the 10u level, the vast majority of kids can’t comprehend this.  They feel like everything is their fault.  They don’t understand that an error was made behind them or that the umpire missed a call.  They just know there was a poor outcome, and they assume they are to blame.

Over the years, the pitcher eventually realizes that after releasing the pitch the outcome is largely out of his control.  This isn’t to avoid blame or criticism.  In fact, it’s just the opposite.  The result provides information to be analyzed and used for future decision making.  The advanced pitcher focuses on the process and avoids the emotional rollercoaster of letting results define their success. 

My son is ten and is going through this journey.  I’m not sure how much he understands but here’s what I encourage him to focus on. 

  • Play catch with someone a few days a week.
  • Be ready to field his position.
  • Back up bases.
  • Communicate and be a positive teammate.
  • After a play, understand the current situation and decide what needs to be done next.
  • Display the courage to keep trying.

That’s it.  Those are things he can control.  It’s a much simpler game.

Athletes frequently get lost in the future.  What bad things are going  to happen next?  How many runs are they going to score? How are my coaches/parents going to react? 

Those questions are common.  Those questions also let us know that uncertainty is winning.  Those questions lead to negative results. 

Sports Life Parallel:
The parallels between sports and life always amaze me.  In looking at my son’s list I thought, “That’s the blueprint for how I need to approach life right now.”

  • “Play catch”- Do the work.
  • “Field your position”- Add value.
  • “Back up bases”- Support others.
  • “Communicate and be a great teammate”- Focus on relationships.
  • “Analyze the play”- Be adaptable.
  • “Display courage”- Keep going. 

Conclusion:
“Why would I think about missing a shot that I haven’t taken”- Michael Jordan

We are in the midst of tough and challenging times.  In my lifetime, I have not experienced mass uncertainty like we are presently witnessing.  Like the great Jordan said, we can’t be worried about problems that haven’t arrived. 

This time demands that we focus on what we control.  That list is longer than we often acknowledge. 

As we charge on to the field following halftime of the year 2020, we are faced with an uncertain future.  People will resort to gossip and fighting on what they believe should be done.  Others will choose to spend time consuming an unhealthy amount of news increasing their worry and anxiety. 

Let’s not fall for these traps.  Let’s focus on relationships, health, growth, and happiness.  Let’s be mindful of the content we consume.  Let’s guard against people who want to bask in negativity.  Let’s adapt and persevere.  Let’s be quick to lend a helping hand. 

The world needs you right now,

Mike

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