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Side Hustles: A Unique Way to Pursue Your Passion

Side Hustles: A Unique Way To Pursue Your Passion

Today’s newsletter focuses on the idea of “Side hustles.” Here are three examples:

  •  While observing Xavier University’s baseball program this fall I was speaking to their volunteer assistant, Kyle Sprague.  He reported to the office between 9:00-9:30 a.m. most mornings.  This allowed him to drive Uber from 5:30am-8:30am during rush hour.  Following Xavier’s amazing season, Kyle is now a full-time assistant at the University of Cincinnati.
  • A great friend of mine, Chad Evans, was working for the Department of Defense in the accounting department.  During the evenings and weekends he and a friend began cutting grass; two years later his full-time job was costing them money.  He quit the job with the DOD and expanded the landscaping business.  Today, the company does over five million a year in revenue and has 43 full-time employees.
  • My mother wanted to get a full-time teaching job when my brother and I started school.  She worked as a substitute teacher and as a teller at the Meadows which, at that time, was a harness horse racing venue.  Eventually, mom landed a full-time teaching job but kept her hustle with the meadows.  She worked four to five shifts a week as a teller while being a teacher.  Crazy!

There are three buckets that side-hustles fall into:

  1. Entrepreneur: the entrepreneur has an idea and organizes the vision into a business.  In coaching, the entrepreneur would likely start with lessons, expand into clinics and eventually into a larger academy or school.  In my opinion, this is the most beneficial “hustle” because while earning money, there are secondary benefits created such as:
  • Sharpening Your Sword- With every lesson you are learning new ways to instruct and reach kids; this is easily transferable to your players.
  • Exposure for the program- If done properly, this is great marketing for the university or school.  It has the potential to pay dividends in recruiting.
  • Continual Learning- You will need to study and research what is going on in the industry. This knowledge base will help in many ways
  1. The Job: This is when you need extra income to keep you moving.  Examples could be: driving Uber, waiting tables, bartending, and delivering papers.  People looking for a job are oftentimes trying to pay the bills while they pursue their dreams.
  2. The Volunteer: This person likely has a very stable career or business; however, they still want to be involved in their passion.  I’ll give two quick examples:
  • Eric Shafer, a friend of mine who is a cardiovascular doctor, coaches a 13-year-old baseball team in the Chicago area.  He has three young girls, but he makes time to teach baseball and life to teenage boys.
  • My longtime friend and business partner, Chad Spence, is a successful attorney but still trains collegiate basketball players for free.

While both Eric and Chad are extremely generous, they will tell you that they get more benefit than those they serve.

As you can probably tell, I am a huge proponent of side-hustles.  For one thing, I truly believe we are not on this earth simply to exist.  I am at my best when I am creating and trying to add value to other’s lives.  I think this is true for most people.  I believe what happens frequently is we get so caught up in “making a living” that we lose that spark.  Yes, you have to provide for yourself and your family, but would it be possible to do something on the side that reignites your spirit?

The Challenge
What stops most people from pursuing something they love on the side? Time.  I get it, we are all very busy, but please don’t allow that to be your excuse. The one common thing, amongst all people, is the 86,400 seconds that we share in a day.  The most impressive and successful people I know maximize their 86,400 seconds.  Instead of complaining about the lack of time, they look for ways to be more efficient and effective.  One strategy that works for me is to replace “I don’t have time” with “I have other priorities.”  This simple shift in perspective empowers you to take control of your time and it gives you ownership of your decisions.  Want to be an outlier? Resolve to never complain about time or being “so busy.” Take control of your time and your life.

Is there something you’ve always wanted to pursue but for whatever reason you haven’t been able to start?  Is there a way that this week you could take one small step toward making it happen?  This week, take that step and I will as well.  Let’s be different.

Final Thoughts:
I know many people reading this are struggling in some capacity with their current life situation.  Maybe some of you are stuck in a dead end job but the money has you trapped.  Others, like many of my coaching friends, are wondering how long they can continue with the low-wages and lack of opportunities.  All I can say is I recognize and respect your situation.  Fight the urge to give in to the negative mindset that many people fall into after years of disappointment.  Today, I presented you with the idea of developing a side-hustle that can help get you on the right track. It’s not easy, nor will it be instant success and satisfaction.  I do believe, however, it can be an energizing force that can assist you in your journey.

Take control of your time this week,

Mike

P.S.
Could you please share with me how you are currently or previously using side-hustles in your life?  I would love to hear your story.

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The Gift Of Humility

The Gift of Humility

 

Merriam-Webster defines humility as, “freedom from pride or arrogance.  The quality or state of being humble.”

 

The older I get the more I see humility not only as a virtue, but also as a competitive advantage in sports and life.  Elite leaders, coaches, and educators all share this elusive trait.  Sure, you can win and lack humility.  However, the people I admire most, the ones who excel at work and in their personal life, all share the gift of being humble.  Below are ten ways to display and use the gift of humility.

 

  1. Admit shortcomings: We cannot do it all, nor can we be great all the time. It is critical to free ourselves up and acknowledge that there will be times we will underperform.  The transformational coach, Matt Deggs, says it best when he tells his team before every season, “Boys, sometimes you are just going to have to overcome the coaching.”
  2. Listen while others talk: Most people are in a race to demonstrate how much they know (for an example observe the posturing that often takes place on social media). Every interaction is an opportunity to learn.  If we spend the whole time talking, we miss the opportunity to listen and gain valuable insight.
  3. Make time for others: I had the opportunity to take my son to the Pittsburgh Pirate game and be on the field for batting practice. While we were in awe watching Big League hitters effortlessly hit baseballs out of the yard, the most impressive performance was watching the Pirate Skipper, Clint Hurtle, connect with ushers and staff.  “Thank you for all you do for us.”  If he finds time, so can I.
  4. Ask for help: As we get older, and our level of responsibility increases, many of us struggle being vulnerable. We are afraid that by asking for assistance we will look weak.  How silly.  Why waste time faking it?  Humility will save us time and money.  Ask great questions and receive great answers.
  5. Delegate: Once we make the decision to delegate we must fully entrust in that person to do the job. I worked with hitters for 13 years in collegiate baseball prior to last season.  Luckily, I found someone much better than me.  I fired myself from that role and stepped away.  I made the decision that I was no longer in charge and that I would abstain from meddling.  This was easily one of my best professional decisions.
  6. Never be the smartest person in the room: It takes humility to surround yourself with powerful thinkers who will challenge and push. It is much easier to play it safe and always be the expert.  The best leaders actively pursue people who are the best in their field. This humble nature allows them to build elite teams, and we all know a strong team will defeat an individual any day of the week.
  7. Root for your competitors: “Iron sharpens iron.” The best in the world see their competition as sparring partners not adversaries. We are striving together to be great; we cannot do it alone.  It takes a great deal of maturity and confidence to cheer for the competition.
  8. Laugh at yourself: Mistakes are going to happen and we are going to look ridiculous at times. Having a sense of humor gives us the freedom to try and fail. Many people let their egos lead the way.  It is much easier to sit on the side line and point out the shortcomings of others.  I’d rather stumble and laugh then sit out and judge.
  9. Give others the credit: The elite coaches and leaders that I have studied are masters at taking the blame for mistakes and deflecting praise. Coaches, if we want to win the hearts of our players give them credit for the wins and accept responsibility for the losses.  This is really hard to do if we allow our pride to get in the way.
  10. Apologize sincerely: When in a leadership position, we will be charged with making countless numbers of decisions every day. It is impossible to be right all the time.  Saying, “I’m sorry, I resolve to do better in the future” goes a long way.  People typically want to forgive.  We have to possess the humility to acknowledge our wrong doings.

Can we win, hit our numbers, or get a promotion without humility?  Absolutely.  However, that type of achievement is fleeting and hollow.  This week, I am going to make a conscious effort to manage my ego.  I’m going to look for ways to be kind and help others, including my competitors, on their journey.  If we play the long game, not the short game, our humility will be rewarded.

 

Stay Humble,

Mike

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Listen: Identifying Grit in Prospects

Grit: Physical and mental toughness; perseverance; the ability to overcome obstacles.

Today, most people think things should come easy.  The word we often hear is entitlement which Webster’s defines as, “a belief that one is deserving or entitled to certain privileges.”  There is a misconception that success comes easy; that one should not have to struggle, stumble or encounter adversity to be successful.

What a competitive advantage, displaying grit! Being willing to work harder and longer is more critical than ever.  While others mistakenly expect life to gift wrap them success we can take pride in earning our rewards.  There’s no real success without struggle and strife.  So, this week when life throws you a road block; pause and be thankful.  Your grit is being tested and I know you will win!

I don’t know about you, but I actively seek to hire or coach people who have failed and kept on going.  Grit comes in many different forms. I hope you enjoy this 3-minute segment where I discuss identifying grit in prospects.

Make it a great week,

Mike

 

 

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Listen: Engaging a Younger Generation

If you want to break the ice with a group of baseball coaches say this, “Kids have changed.  They are so soft.”  It won’t work on every coach, but this will usually lead to a long conversation about how kids “don’t get it” anymore.

Are you guilty of this?  I know I have fallen in to the trap at times. Sure, complaining can make you feel better.  And, if you choose to complain about the younger generation you will have no shortage of people who will lend you a supportive ear.  There are a few problems with this:

  1. The problems of today’s youth are grossly exaggerated.  If you need proof, do a quick google search of quotes on the problems of past generations.  You will see that for hundreds, and even thousands of years, the older generation has been incredibly disappointed with the youth.
  2. Complaining is not going to help solve the current problems we are dealing with.

Leaders are always looking for ways to improve and provide their organization with a competitive advantage.  A huge competitive advantage for our team or organization is how we choose to engage the younger generation.  In a recent interview with Joe Ferraro we discussed three key ways to engage this critical population:

  1.  Make a Connection- The younger generation wants to know you.  They want honestly, vulnerability, and human touch.  The younger generation demands that we get out of our comfort zone and connect.  Please don’t mistake me, this population wants pushed and held accountable.  However, they want it done by someone who they know and love.
  2. Provide Freedom- This generation is smart and they can often do things faster and better than you.  Here’s the rub: they don’t want to do it your way.  Today’s elite leader will need to check their ego at the door and be more concerned with getting it right than being right.  It is critical to set high-expectations and demand accountability; however, we must provide our people the freedom to own the process.
  3. Provide Opportunities for Growth and Contribution: The younger generation wants to do meaningful work and they want to know they have the ability to develop.  Sure, not everyone can have the role they desire but as leaders we can do a better job showing how every role matters to the success of the organization.  And, equally important, leaders need to provide opportunities for their people to develop.  If you are not growing you are dying.  The elite leader should be excited to help in this critical area.

The majority of coaches and leaders are in the habit of complaining about the younger generation.  This behavior is non productive at best, and frequently it is devastating to an organization.  This blaming and complaining by others is a competitive advantage for us.  This week, I am going to look for ways to be a better serve the younger generation.

Have a great week,

Mike

 

 

 

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Listen: Cultural Development Strategies

Culture Developmental Strategies

It’s been too long.  The start of the season has made it challenging to keep up with the weekly newsletter post.

For the next several months, it is going to be a struggle for me to create weekly content.  I want to try something new during the course of the baseball season.  Joe Ferraro, from KWB Radio, recently interviewed me.  We touched on several topics that I believe will be beneficial to you.  The interview has been edited to roughly 3-5 minute segments that I think you will enjoy.

This week’s segment focuses on the six steps to culture change:

  1. Face Reality
  2. Create Clarity
  3. Identify Your Why
  4. Win the Day
  5. Study the Results
  6. Adapt your Strategy

I hope you enjoy the new format.  Connecting and growing with you over the past year has been incredible for me.  Please stay in touch!

Coach Deegan

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The Best of 2016

Thank you all for a great 2016.  The best parts of writing have been learning and connecting with amazing people like yourself.
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Misconceptions about Success and Greatness

Facts About Coaching Greats:

  • After 6 seasons, Bill Belichick’s head coaching record was 41-55.
  • Cowboy’s coaching legend, Tom Landry, experienced his first winning season in year seven of his career. His winning percentage during that time was .311.
  • John Wooden did not win his first national championship until year 17. He could never win the “Big One.” Ten National Titles later he proved people wrong.
  • Mike Krzyzewski’s record was 111-106 in his first eight years as head coach and 38-47 during his first three seasons at Duke.
  • In 22 years as a Big League skipper Jim Leyland experienced ten losing campaigns.
  • Four-time Super Bowl winning head coach, Chuck Noll, had a 51-60 record in his last eight seasons. His first three years as a head coach he compiled a 12-30 record.

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Misconceptions About Success:
  1. It comes easy: Studying coaching greats, you can see that most, if not all, struggled at some point in their career. If you want to be great, be prepared to fail.
  2. The path is straight: There will be peaks and there will be valleys along the journey. Stay humble when you are on a peak and confident when you are in a rut.
  3. Reaching the summit is the best feeling in the world: Please watch the video below (it is the best TEDx  talk that I have seen) about Alison Levine’s experience conquering Mount Everest. The journey is more memorable than conquering your goal. “Lessons From the Ledge.”
  4. Hard work guarantees success: Somewhere along the line we developed the idea that hard work means you will get the results you want. It doesn’t. There are no guarantees. That is the beauty of it.
  5. There’s no such thing as luck:  Call it want you want, timing or being in the right place at the right time; there is often an element of luck involved. Most highly successful people are humble enough to acknowledge that circumstances, at some level, played a huge part in their success.

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Are You Struggling?
Have you ever been frustrated with your lack of success?  You have a clear goal.  Maybe it is a weight loss goal.  Possibly you’ve dreamed of greater financial success or climbing the corporate ladder. You’ve changed your habits.  In addition, you have worked hard; really hard.  While your friends and colleagues have played, you’ve sacrificed.  You are doing all the right things, BUT, here is the hard pill to swallow….the results have actually gotten worse!

Sports can teach us a lot. The graphs display results of some of the all-time coaching greats.  We are talking the top 1% of coaches in their given sport.  There was adversity in their careers. We have developed misconceptions about success.  We believe that John Wooden never had a player upset with him.  You can guarantee he did (there are stories of disgruntled Wooden players).  We believe that Coach K was able to experience immediate success.  It is not true; in his first eight years he was around a .500 coach.

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My Advice to Myself:
I have a few pieces of advice after studying some of the titans in coaching.  Please understand that the advice is for myself.  Hopefully, my reminders, can assist you as well.

  1. Never compare your journey to someone else- The goal is to experience our best self;  comparing will only lead to arrogance or frustration. Neither are admirable.
  2. Focus on the next 200 feet- Sometimes goals seem insurmountable. Chunk it down. Focus on winning segments of the day. Looking too far ahead will make you want to stop.
  3. Embrace the valleys- Yes, there are going to be challenges along the way. Everyone experiences struggle. Who are we to think we are above adversity? Be different. Take a challenge; adjust our thinking. We are in this position for a reason.
  4. Connect with others– Along the journey we will encounter special people. Don’t take them for granted.
  5. Help someone- There will be times when you have the ability to enhance someone’s life experience. Do it.
  6. You’ll need assistance along the way- Your success will be the result of many things but none more important than the people you are surrounded by; parents, spouse, friends, bosses, administrators and your assistants. There is no way you can do it alone. Don’t forget it.
  7. Stay in the Fight- the best coaches of all time very rarely reached the ultimate prize (Super Bowl Champs, World Series Champs, National Champs). However, they never “gave a season away.” Each opportunity is special; treat it as such.
  8. Everything is not in our control- What if Tom Landry got fired after his fifth losing season in a row?  Is he still considered great? What if Coach K doesn’t get hired at Duke after going 9-17 in his last year at Army? Would he be the coaching icon he is today?
  9. You will face critics- Your name will get drug through the mud. You will upset people; sometimes you will be to blame and other times you will not. Accept it, apologize sincerely, and move on. I wish it could be seamless; however, it is not.
  10. It’s not about reaching the summit- Treat others well, work hard; “smell the roses” and develop deep relationships. Understand that the end goal is not the most important thing; instead, it’s what you experience during the journey.

I don’t know much, but I do know we have a misunderstood concept of what success and goal pursuit actually looks like.  If you are doing the right thing and not getting the results you want, join the club! Success isn’t a straight line; just look at the legends of coaching.  Let me say it again, we are talking about elite level coaches! You can clearly see their careers were not exempt from struggle, nor was their success a perfect climb.  Why would we expect ours to be? You are in insanely good company.  Put your nose down, keep working hard, be kind, enjoy the journey and understand that you are exactly where you need to be.

I don’t know about you, but this week I’m going to embrace this moment in my quest.  Great things are destined to happen; however, it isn’t going to happen on my time or exactly the way I planned.  Thank you all for being a huge part of my journey.

With much respect,

Mike

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Three things to help reach your goals

What is the best time of year for a NFL franchise? Preseason Camp.  What is the best time of year for a struggling baseball franchise? Spring Training.

For most people, the start of the journey is the most exciting part.  The goal is set and there is optimism.  When the trials and tribulations occur (which they always do) the real work kicks in.   When these challenges arise goals are frequently aborted.

Goals are great; however, setting goals are the bare minimum.  I used to believe simply writing your goals down every day was enough.  It is not.  In college baseball, this is the best time of year for a lot of programs.  Check twitter: you will see “Omaha challenges,” and “Cary challenges” from a lot of college baseball programs (Omaha, NE and Cary, NC are the host of their respective World Series).  EVERY sports franchise/team has goals.  EVERY school and business has goals.  Goals are not enough! In order to make a goal a reality you must have three things: Reasons (why), sacrifice, and the habits to be successful.

What’s your Reason? What’s Your Why?
Have you ever noticed many of our elite performers: actors, athletes, musicians, oftentimes have overcome a major obstacle in life such as: an abusive childhood, an absent mother or father, or some kind of major trauma?  Most people are broken by traumatic events; however, certain people resolve to use negative events to propel their goals and dreams.

The more powerful your reason or your why, the higher the probability that your dream will become a reality.  In sports, you’ll frequently hear: “I love to win.” Or, “I want to do it for my parents.” Or, “I want to be all-conference, all state, or an All-American.”  The problem is 95% of those involved in sports will have a similar “why” and if you find yourself on the side of the heavy majority you’re not in a position to achieve greatness.  When we fail to achieve our objectives, it typically isn’t a “goal” issue; instead we haven’t identified a strong enough why.

Please watch this interview of Steve Smith of the Baltimore Ravens.  The entire video is full of gems but he gets to his “why” around the 4:25 mark.  It takes more than talent to last 16 years in the NFL.
Steve Smith

In addition, my favorite “why” for 2016 is from James Connor of the Pitt Panthers.  James endured chemotherapy after being diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma.  He has battled his way back on the field and in Pitt’s win yesterday versus Duke he became the all-time touchdown leader in ACC history.   One of his why’s is “to play for someone who can’t.”  Take the time and read his article, “Nothing is Guaranteed from the Player’s Tribune here: James Connor Players Tribune

What are you willing to sacrifice?
You say you want to win championships, be a CEO, own your own business, or run an elite school.  The goal has been established.  You’ve challenged yourself to identify your reason why.  The next question you must ask is: What am I willing to sacrifice?  I’ll be honest, this is where the dream ends for most people.  Sacrifice is scary.  We don’t want to abandoned the seemingly “fun” things in our life: partying, socializing, eating poorly, or drinking to excess? Even if we can get past these negative habits, sacrificing time with family and friends (which are unfortunately necessary) will stop most people. Before you set a goal it is imperative you own the importance of sacrifice.

Please think for a moment about sports. Most amateur baseball players say they want to play in the Big Leagues.  Very few people think about the sacrifice making that goal a reality.  For example, the lifestyle of a minor league player is far from glamorous.  To start, you are going to be away from family and friends for eight months of the year.  Maybe you are newly married, in February you report to spring training then you head off to small towns throughout the country.  You make very little money so more than likely your wife has to work and cannot accompany you during the summer.  The minor league player, while trying to overcome the daunting odds of making the Big Leagues, is dealing with issues back home while traveling on a bus in between games.  How many birthday parties, family gatherings, and friend’s weddings will you miss while pursuing your goals?  Even if you make it to “the show” you play 162 games a year and 81 of those are on the road.  Most people say, “Well, if I was making a million dollars, I wouldn’t care.” True, the money is very good if you are an elite player; however, they are still human.  Time away from your children and family is still extremely difficult.  Money may help but it doesn’t solve the problem.

Here is a good article on Matt Buschmann who made his big league debut in April at the age of 32.
Matt Buschmann

Do your Habits align with your goals?
Once you have identified your why and decided that you are willing to sacrifice gravely for your dreams, the final piece is aligning your habits with your mission.  Success leaves clues.  We are in an age where there is an abundance of information and a severe deficit of follow through.  If I want to be a difference maker as a high school principal, there are multiple places where I can find information on how the top schools are executing.  However, if my actions and habits do not match those of leaders of the district I cannot expect to have high level results.

Health and fitness goals are often sabotaged by our habits.  Let’s say our goal is to maintain a healthy weight and a high fitness level.  However, our current habit is to eat a lunch high in sodium and fat from a fast food restaurant.  In addition, instead of going for a walk after work our habit is two drink a couple of beers.  We can have solid goals, but if we fail to establish the habits we will never reach our destination.

Western Michigan’s head football coach, PJ Flack, has guided the Broncos to an 11-0 start and top 25 ranking.  Coach Flack is different and his style is not for everyone.  For aspiring coaches, this piece is a great example of the habits of a highly successful coach. Coach Flack

Conclusion:
Having goals is very common.  Goals alone won’t be enough to navigate through life’s pitfalls.  More important than goals are developing powerful reasons.  A strong “why” will allow you to triumph over almost anything.  Along with the reasons we must decide what we are willing to give up in order to realize our goals.  Finally, it is imperative we align our habits with our dreams.
This could be a powerful week.  When is the last time you evaluated your goals?  More importantly, have you analyzed your why, what your willing to sacrifice and how your habits are determining your outcomes?  Invest the time this week to reflect.

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What do you do when your child gets beaten out?

Being a parent is hard.  Being a parent of a child involved in sports is even harder. Please understand that this newsletter is not intended to be cynical.  As a parent myself, I am acutely aware how the love for our children can make us irrational and crazy.  I am concerned.  There is an epidemic of parent involvement that is severely damaging the athletic experience for the youth and also driving good coaches out of the profession.

Negative Parent Behaviors
Let’s say your child finds himself in a role he does not like; maybe he isn’t starting or worse yet, he isn’t playing at all.  He’s upset.  He calls home nightly and says how he isn’t given a chance.  One day, he calls and lets you know he got yelled at in practice.  As the parent, your heart hurts.  Your child is upset and you have been conditioned to believe you can change the situation.  Below are five reactions you must avoid.

  1. “The Threat Maker.”This person is completely irrational.They will threaten to do several things: “I will kick your ____!” or “You wait; I will have you fired!” Nothing is off limits; they will attack the coach in front of family and friends. They are not above forming petitions, calling the principal or president of the university. In their mind, the coach has destroyed their son or daughter’s life and the coach will pay for it!
  2. “The Defense Attorney”- While not as irrational as the “Threat Maker”, the Attorney shares many of the same delusional qualities. This person has built their case for why their son should be starting or have a more prominent role. They’ve done the research and the coaching staff is clearly wrong in their decision making. If you need proof, they have the data to support their case. This case has likely consumed them; they have sacrificed time at home and at work laboring on this project.
  3. “Please don’t tell him I called”- This person has stewed over their daughter’s role for days/weeks/months. They have likely drafted many emails previously but their better judgment stopped them from hitting send. Finally, they believe, “enough is enough..I’m calling!”  The conversation typically starts with small talk and then moves to, “please don’t tell Jimmy I called.He would kill me but…”What this person fails to realize is this conversation ruins the player/coach relationship. The parent has asked the coach to withhold information from the player which is a major violation of trust. Whether fair or not, the coach now sees the player in a different light.
  4. “The Mean Mugger”- This person is mad and her face is going to show it.It doesn’t matter what just happened the coach will know he’s angry. Maybe you just won a huge game or you clinched the league championship.T he coach and team are happy but this person will attempt to cast a cloud over the joyous situation.
  5. “The Gossip”- This person is constantly trying to spread rumors and drum up support from the other parents. “Did you hear she made them run for a half hour after the game yesterday?”  Or, “Have you noticed how Coach only plays the guys he likes?”  The Gossip can be harmless but the Gossip can also have malicious intent.
My Recommendations:
  1. Self-Reflect- why are you so upset? Is it because of your child or is this personal? Are you living vicariously through your child? Is this more about you than them? Most of the anger I see is typically because the parents’ ego is bruised more than the kids.
  2. Find an outlet- Find someone to talk to; don’t be afraid to vent.  Coaches aren’t perfect for sure, talk to your spouse or friend about the situation. Get it all out there. However, resist the urge to let your child know your displeasure. This will create a “victim’s mentality” for the kid. You don’t want that.
  3. Take the pressure off- going into my sophomore year of college I wasn’t a starter. My parents told me they were making the trip to Florida for our team’s spring trip. I knew that trip stretched our family thin and I was nervous. I remember telling my dad that I probably wasn’t going to play.“Michael, do you think I care if YOU play? Your mom and I are going to be in Florida. We are going to watch baseball and have fun. Don’t worry about you playing.” Talk about freedom. This allowed me to be able to enjoy the team and not worry about pleasing my parents. What can you do to help free your child up?
  4. Keep it in perspective- Is this THAT bad? Is this going to matter five years from now? You have a healthy child who’s participating on a team. Encourage them to find a role, practice harder, help the coaches and explain how fortunate they are to be involved (even if you have to fake it).
  5. Encourage your child- I ended up being a 1st team all-conference outfielder my sophomore year. My junior year, with higher expectations, I struggled. Eventually I got pulled from the line-up. I can honestly say that my dad never criticized the coach nor did he bash me. He would just say, “keep working.You know you are a really good player.” He was basically saying, “You don’t deserve to be playing right now but go earn your way back out there.”
  6. Stay away- Are you around too much? Are you adding pressure? This is very tough for parents to hear but I believe our kids don’t need us to always be there (For proof, observe kids playing at recess). If you find your presence is making the situation worse don’t go to a few contests.Your kid will survive, I promise.
  7. Thank the coach- Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Your child isn’t having the experience you want and I am asking you to thank them. Be bigger than the situation. What an example to set for your child and those around you. Being appreciative when everything is perfect is easy; being appreciative when things aren’t going your way is elite.
My Advice to Coaches
Coaches we have a huge responsibility; we are coaching someone’s child.  Think about that during your interactions.  Sometimes we forget this.  Also, I have witnessed and heard of coaches who are obnoxious with their children’s coaches.  Talk about being hypocritical.  Our job is to try to be the example in our communities.  We should not take this responsibility lightly.

My Advice to Parents
Parenting is incredibly difficult.  As a father of four, please trust me that I understand.  With that being said, we have to be better.  The challenge is for you to set the example in your community or within your sports organization.  Be different.  Promise that you will support your child and their team in a positive manner.  We have already lost too many great coaches to parental involvement.  Please decide to be a part of the solution.

Final Thoughts
If you are a sports parent at some point your child will experience rejection.  He/she may not get chosen for an all-star team, they may get cut from their high school team, or not have the role they desire in college.  In the moment, this will feel catastrophic; however, it is not.  When the rejection occurs you will think the coach has malicious intentions.  I’m here to tell you that 99% of the time this isn’t the case.  Typically, it is simply because they got beat out; nothing more, nothing less.

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Overcoming your slump

If you have ever played sports you’ve experienced a slump.  In baseball, you can’t buy a hit.  In basketball, you are not shooting the ball with the same confidence.  When you find yourself in a slump you wonder if you will ever get another hit or make another shot.  The experience is agonizing: you feel like you are letting everyone down.  When mired in a slump, most people start doing more; more shots, more swings, more adjustments, more practice, more, more, more.  Most people focus almost exclusively on the physical skills and not dealing with their emotional state.  Today, let’s take a different approach to dealing with a slump.  Here are three areas to examine when you find yourself or someone you coach in a slump.

1.  Change in Physiology
When a player finds him or herself struggling the first thing to do is to examine how they are using their physical body.  A good place to start is by checking one’s posture.  People in slumps tend to have poor spine positioning, their heads hang low; they actually appear physically smaller.  Next, analyze their movements.  People struggling are tighter, there are less free- flowing movements.  Lastly, examine your breathing patterns.  When struggling, people tend to take short, rapid breaths depriving themselves of the necessary oxygen for high level functioning.

The Solution: If you know someone in a slump challenge them to change their physiology.  Some very basic things to do: sit up straight, walk with your shoulders back and head held high.  Address their movements; instead of small, rigid movements discuss breaking their comfort level and use big, aggressive movements.  Think about how a rock-star struts on stage or a CEO walks into a board meeting.  Visual cues are often helpful.  Finally, discuss taking long, deep, slow breaths.  Have them think about lifting their diaphragm with good air and slowly releasing the bad air.  Radically changing physiology can oftentimes radically change the results.

2.  Change in Focus
While in the midst of a slump the “poor, pitiful me” syndrome frequently is present.  The athlete is consumed with their individual results.  Sometimes they will begin to fret over whether or not they will stay in the line-up.  Even things that outwardly appear positive; practicing more, discussing their struggles, watching more videos, for example, can actually be harmful.

The Solution- Pour yourself into your team or others.  Instead of focusing on you, become incredibly selfless.  Look for something, anything that you can do for your teammates.  When we focus exclusively on ourselves our reality becomes distorted.  Our “slump” becomes the most critical, devastating thing in the universe.  When we make the decision to change our focus our situation oftentimes improves dramatically.

3.  Change in Language
“I stink.” “I will never get a hit again.” “I don’t know why this is happening to me.  I don’t deserve this.”  These types of self-defeating phrases are commonly used by individuals in a slump.  As soon as we use language like this, either outwardly or through self-talk, a different meaning is attached to the situation.

The Solution– The charge is to be incredibly disciplined in the words and phrases we use to describe our slump.  “Man, things aren’t going great right now but lookout, it’s coming!” Or, “I trust the training; success is right around the corner.”  The words we choose completely alter the experience.  Instead of seeing yourself as a victim you become an adventurer.  We possess the power and ability to choose how we view a situation.

Conclusion
When an athlete is in a slump the typical response is to focus on the skill deficiency.  “What is wrong with my swing” is a phrase that coaches hear most often.   Most coaches focus on the physical skills without considering the mental component when addressing these issues.  My suggestion is to first analyze their physiology, focus, and language.  Addressing the physical problem usually amounts to treating the symptom; however, the cure is discovered by adjusting the mental approach.  Of course, sports issues, like slumps, manifest themselves in the real world.  The same three step approach can be applied in times when you find yourself in a personal rut. If you are down, start by getting up and moving. Follow that by changing your focus; simply put, begin serving others.  Finally, develop discipline in the way you speak to others and, equally as important, how you speak to yourself.  Everyone experiences times when we feel less than our best.  These three skills can you back on the right track.

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