| I have to be real with you, I experience the winter blues. It’s tough for me to admit, but this time of year I am not my best. My biggest challenge is the withdrawal I feel from being on the go. Once mid-January hits I’m moving fast. For the next month I will experience some downtime. If the past is any indication, this time will be hard for me. I feel guilty for saying this. Shouldn’t I be excited about the holiday’s? What about the increased time at home….shouldn’t I be happy for more time with my kids? The great thing about increasing self-awareness is you begin to understand who you are. I’m also lucky to have a spouse that also understands and supports me. In order to combat the winter blues I planned ahead this year. Here’s how I am going to attack the next month and focus on winning days. Be Intentional with Time: I made a list of things I plan to accomplish. Next, I printed out a calendar from December 15-January 15. I began filling in the dates with different activities and task. This simple exercise helped tremendously. Think Week: I once read how Bill Gates and Steve Jobs would take a week and do nothing but consume content. I’ve tried this, albeit on a much smaller scale, a few summers ago. This year, I’m going to begin a think week on 12/29. I won’t be able to go into full isolation like Gates did, but I will spend a considerable amount of time focused on knowledge acquisition. Health and Fitness: I’m going to prioritize my wellness over the next month. History will show that I am in my worst physical and mental shape in January. I’ve signed up for a month at a hot yoga studio from 12/17-1/17. I’ve experimented with hot yoga and I really enjoyed it. In addition, I’m resuming intermittent fasting. Peak Family Moments: Instead of just being physically present, I want to be more engaged when I am around my kids. I’m guilty of watching TV, checking my phone, reading emails, and succumbing to many other disruptors. One of my favorite days is when I take our four kids shopping for our family. I love seeing their joy in giving and not just receiving. Eat Some Frogs: “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first”- Mark Twain. I have some things that I’ve been putting off doing. I want to get those “frogs” taken care of before things get moving fast. I’ve learned that within every challenge lies an opportunity. History shows that I’m less than my best this time of year. I’m making some changes. After reading this, my hope is you help me stay accountable. |
My relationship with change is complicated. I get anxious considering the uncomfortable steps it requires; however, I’m attracted to the new possibilities it creates: better health, a new look, a change of scenery, and different responsibilities. The thought of change causes fright. The notion of a mundane life repulses.
When it impacts only myself, I’ve gotten better with change. When considering the impact on those I love, it has become harder. While the excitement of something new fires me up, it also leaves me feeling selfish.
I told you, it’s complicated.
Connecting on Three Levels:
Recently, I attended a virtual conference focused on high-performance in sports. There were fascinating speakers from the Premier League, NBA and the NHL. Who would have thought the presenter who impacted me the most would come from the luxury fashion industry?
Kim Wylie is the global director of people development and change at Farfetch. According to Wylie, a leader must connect on three levels to produce lasting change.
- The Head-Rational Connection: How does it connect with the big picture? When discussing change leaders should explain how the change is affecting the larger operation. People need to know they are making contributions to something larger than themselves. When a leader asks an individual to change, it’s critical to articulate the impact it will create.
- The Heart-Emotional Connection: What’s in it for them? Wylie contends that this is the hardest level of connection but the most important. Leaders must work to make others feel a part of the change and allow them to shape the transition. Allowing individuals to own their new role enhances buy-in.
- The Feet-Behavioral Connection: What support can you provide? A powerful example of this comes from the Brooklyn Nets. Their General Manager, Steve Marks, understands how a new job impacts the entire family. The Nets work to ensure a smooth transition by providing lists of schools and daycares. They realize transition can place a tremendous burden on families. The organization acknowledges this and has a process to assist.
Final Thought:
If I wasn’t a believer before, 2020 has made it crystal clear: change is a part of life; whether I like it or not. Change is often positive, but that doesn’t mean it’s not scary.
My guess is like me, you believe change is both unavoidable and necessary. While this is true, we have to remember that not everyone feels this way. We can’t dismiss people’s feelings with “stay positive” or “you should be thankful you still have a job.” Worse yet, we can’t assume our loved ones should simply adapt when asked to move to a new city, change schools and leave behind old friends.
Investing the energy to listen and have a deep conversation is powerful. Connecting on different levels: rational, emotional and behavioral- will help the process. In these times of uncertainty going above and beyond to provide some level of certainty is not only necessary; it’s just the right thing to do.
Change is coming. The effective leader of the next decade will do more than just demand compliance. They’ll be intentional about developing a culture filled with processes ensuring smooth and effective transitions.
Question for the Week:
What are ways you can provide a level of certainty in these uncertain times?
Upcoming Webinar:
On Wednesday, January 6th there will be a webinar discussing my new on-line course: Creating Culture. Joe Ferraro host of the 1% Better Podcast will be joining me for a conversation on culture, change and high-performing organizations. Here’s the link. It would be great if you could attend.
| It was March 2017, our team was playing a very good non-conference opponent. We had a strong team and this game would have serious playoff implications when the committee made its selection for the national tournament. The game was tied 4-4 in the bottom of the ninth. The opposition had a runner on first with nobody out, and they laid down a bunt. Our catcher fielded the bunt. His throw hit the runner who was out of the running lane. The ball ricocheted off the batter runner and went down the right field line putting the runners on 2nd and 3rd. The plate umpire called batter runner interference. Boom! Good call; EXCEPT he missed a key part of the ruling. Instead of moving the lead runner back to first, he placed the lead runner at second base! I went out and argued. The umpires reconvened and they stuck with the call. The next hitter singled. We lost 5-4. I was furious. Furious at the umpires. Furious at myself for not making sure the rule was enforced and protesting the contest. It was a game you lose sleep over. The next morning, I received this email from the crew chief: Mike, I wanted to personally e-mail you to apologize for the wrong ruling I made on the batter-runner interference vs [ ]. I was wrong. The runner should have come back to first base. There is no excuse for my not making the correct ruling. Even when we got together, we all made the wrong call. That’s on me. I sincerely, apologize to you and your team.The next day I saw the umpire at the yard. He was still visibly upset. “I’m just sick over what I did. There’s no excuse. Please tell your boys I’m sorry.” Mistakes and Leadership Leaders make mistakes. Always have and always will. The longer and higher you travel on your leadership journey the more frequently and potentially costly these “goofs” will become. Decisions are part of the job. Sometimes you’ll make decisions under duress. Sometimes you’ll make decisions with partial information. You’ll falsely accuse. You’ll mistakenly put blame on others. As I meet with more and more people, a common issue I hear is a boss’s or supervisor’s unwillingness to own a mistake. Instead of a response similar to the umpire, they cower. Frequently, they begin to isolate making others uncertain. Or, they try to act as if their wrong doing never occurred. This causes the “elephant in the room” to grow and grow. Lack of trust follows. Lack of loyalty follows. Eventually, apathy sets in. What’s worse, the coach, owner or CEO then blames the subordinates. “They just don’t get it. What’s wrong with people nowadays,” they say. The culture is now broken. Lies and deceit are devastating. Leadership will look for all different reasons. However, it all started with lack of trust from chronically failing to take ownership of mistakes. Benefits of Owning a Mistake Why should you own a mistake? 1. It’s the right thing to do: Not everyone is confident. The people you lead may be wondering “Was I wrong? Should I have done more?” They’ll lose a bit of their swagger because of your mistake. One time is no big deal; however, over time, their make-up will be compromised. 2. Increases your credibility: You can’t fool a locker room. Players (and employees) KNOW when something is off. They respect your positional power; they won’t call you on the mistake. But they know. Admitting your mistake increases your credibility in other areas. 3. You model accountability: Most, if not all organizations, value accountability. We want it from our employees, however, we do a poor job of demonstrating because we fear it will make us look weak. Nonsense. By openly admitting shortcomings you are granting permission to others to do so. This promotes a culture that looks at issues as opportunities. 4. It diffuses tension: Think back to my situation. I was furious. After the umpire owned the mistake what was I going to do? Stay mad? Once you own the mistake the healing process begins. You may not be instantly forgiven. The other person’s response is not in your control. However, an honest and sincere apology begins the process. 5. It’s an opportunity to galvanize: Yes! Your mistake can actually pull the team together. People tend to rally around leaders who are transparent and human. People will run through walls for leaders they believe in. You can’t be “all in” with someone you don’t trust. Follow-up Honestly, if the umpire hadn’t emailed me I wouldn’t have the same respect for him as I do today. Because of his humbleness, he is now one of my absolute favorites. When he has our games I get excited. I know we are getting an umpire who cares. He learned from his mistake and is better now than ever. He took a bad situation and turned it into a positive. This in turn taught me a lesson in humility. This Week’s Challenge Are you ready to get uncomfortable? This week, join me in sincerely apologizing for a mistake. No excuses, just completely owning our part in a mishap. Look for three different opportunities. With our spouse or significant other.With our children.With someone at work. I can’t wait to hear about your experience. |
Matt Talarico, is a coordinator for the New York Yankees. He is an industry leader in base running. Years of studying the craft of stealing bases has led Matt to a system that has produced results. There are three styles in his system: Old School, New School and Hybrid.
Old School: The old-school system was developed from years of studying baseball’s great base stealers: Ricky Henderson, Vince Coleman, Lou Brock and Tim Raines – just to name a few. The old-school technique relies on getting a standard lead, getting a good jump and using your speed to steal bases. This method has been effective and has produced prolific results.
New School: The new-school system is based on momentum. The runner is asked to start with a smaller lead and quietly extend their lead as the pitcher releases the ball. “Tally” uses the reference of a parked car at a stop light vs. a car that has momentum as it approaches the light. The car that has momentum is able to get a better start than its fixed counterpart. This approach is different and can seem risky to those who teach only the old-school technique.
Hybrid: Matt’s hybrid system blends the two approaches to make the most effective base stealer. The idea is to put continuous pressure on the defense. By paying respect to history while also developing other techniques, the base runner is able to be a constant threat.
Old School vs. New School:
The present state of baseball is amazing. For years, baseball relied on non-objective information when teaching and evaluating talent. “He really hits it hard.” “His fastball gets on you.” “That is a sharp breaking ball.” Now, measures such as exit velocity and spin rate can help quantify these opinions. Many things are being challenged from the best way to optimize the batting order to defensive positioning (aka “The Shift”).
The stereotypical old-school coach feels threatened by these measures. People are trying to “reinvent the game” they will say. Some even feel the game is being ruined by data and technology.
On the other end of the spectrum is the baseball person that relies solely on new-school approaches. This person either disregards or doesn’t respect the lessons and history of the game. They believe that data and technology are much more important than the human element.
Hybrid:
I believe the elite coach or baseball administrator of the future is the person who understands the history. They possess the social agility to connect with people from all edges of the earth. The elite coach will be curious and constantly seeking ways to improve the organization’s performance, while also being acutely aware that the game is played by humans. This person has an understanding that the world is constantly evolving. To stay the same is impossible, you’ll either adapt or fall behind.
The future elite coach will be a beautiful compliment of old school and new school philosophies.
Real World Application:
As I travel and connect with organizations, one of the biggest challenges I witness is the Old School vs. New School approach. The more seasoned managers, partners and employees tend to value: hard work, dressing professionally, phone conversations over email or text, structured compensation packages, and long hours. The Old School was taught and rewarded for this type of work ethic. They believe everyone should put forth time and effort.
The folks entering the workforce tend to have a different approach. Many prefer more of a work/life balance, flexible hours, incentive based pay and promotion structure, and they communicate via technology (text, email, twitter). The New School workforce pushes the envelope and they want to find the quickest and most efficient way to get a job done.
The Competitive Advantage:
If you or your organization is experiencing this rub, you are far from alone. While most organizations spend time complaining about the issue it’s time to challenge yourself to be different. The old school values will always have a place in winning organizations.
On the other hand, you can’t “hack” the system; the work needs to be done. Standards need maintained with high level accountability. With that being said, the new school approach will keep your organization moving forward. The hunger to learn new data points and technology can be critical.
Just like in baseball, the elite leader of the future will pay homage to the past while seeking new and better ways of doing business or leading a classroom. They will have the ability to be a connector; being able to relate and pull together the unique skills of a diverse workforce.
Leadership Challenge:
Deep self-evaluation is critical. Before we can lead others, we need to understand our beliefs and biases. Take a moment and reflect on these questions:
- Is your default setting more Old School or New School?
- If you’re Old School, how can you become more open to change and technology? What are you potentially missing out on?
- If you are New School, what can you learn from the history of your industry? How are you limiting your growth potential?
- In what ways can you connect those you lead who have different default settings? Reimagine ways to bring folks together for the organization.
- Are you surrounding yourself with people who share the same default setting?
To purchase Matt Talarico’s book, check out his website here: www.stealbases.com. Or, to chat about my personal philosophy, feel free to reach out.
Iowa St. is not a football power house. In the three seasons prior to Head Coach Matt Campbell’s arrival, their record was 8-28. Campbell’s first year in 2016 the Cyclones were 3-9. Since then, the program has been trending upward: 8-5; 8-5; 7-6. Currently they are 8-2, ranked #9 in the country, and are sitting atop the B12 standings.
I’m sure Coach Campbell is a phenomenal football mind; however, smart football people are a dime a dozen. His success, in my opinion, is because he is a culture builder.
The word culture makes people cringe. It has become a buzz word. Culture is not ping pong tables, bean bag chairs, and casual dress. Building culture requires deep internal work, self-reflection, and is centered on developing championship behaviors in the people of the organization.
The Best Version of Ourselves:
Through observation, I believe Iowa State’s culture is the pursuit of being the best version of themselves. In the press conference following their big win over Texas, Campbell mentioned “the best version of ourselves” multiple times. Here are three quotes:
“And the greatest thing that has allowed this team, and really our staff and probably me in general, is to put ego away and really evaluate and try to figure out how do you chart a course to become the best version of yourself you can be. “
“And then how do we do a great job of giving this program consistency and the opportunity to become the best version of ourselves we can be?
“Well, I think I’d be really disappointed if we didn’t get on the plane, flush it, and enjoy the fact we were able to win, and then by tomorrow, be ready to sit back and dissect it. And say, Man, what didn’t we do well? What do we need to get better at? How do we continue to improve. So if we want to continue to grow and have a chance to be the best version of ourselves we can be and reach our full potential, then we’ll have to come back and take that same mindset.”
Can Iowa St. compete year in and year out with the blue bloods of college football? Probably not. But….can they work relentlessly toward being the best version of themselves? Definitely.
What do Indiana Baseball and Iowa St. Football have in common?
It’s amazing how things come full circle. This spring, Indiana University’s head baseball coach, Jeff Mercer, met with our team via Zoom. We asked him a question about how he handles players who are disappointed with their playing time. His answer was magnificent. “You have to have a goal outside of the result. Everyone in our program’s job is to be the best version of themselves. Whether you played in the game or not, the responsibility is to be the best version of yourself.”
Coach Mercer is an outstanding person, and Indiana baseball is a tremendous program. Iowa St, under Coach Campbell, is on the rise. Maybe there is something to building a culture based on the pursuit of being the best version of ourselves?
(At the bottom of this article are two videos from Campbell and Mercer. Tell me you wouldn’t want to play for these men.)
Final Thought:
It’s easy to say an organization’s success is due to luck. It’s also easy to recite perceived advantages. However, when studying high performing teams, I’m blown away by their intentional approach to culture building.
To some, a phrase like “the best version of ourselves” is soft. It doesn’t focus on winning or championships. I would push back and say simply having a goal of winning is soft. There’s no substance behind it. Watch a little kid, they want to win, and if they don’t they pout. The same unproductive behavior is frequently found in organizations focusing exclusively on results.
Consider the idea of being the best version of ourselves. It is a challenging but rewarding pursuit. It’s 100% completely within our control. Everyone has a different starting point in life and circumstances are different. The starting point has nothing to do with the ability to be our best selves. It’s far from soft. It takes away all excuses. There are no outside comparisons. No envy.
It’s simply a mission to show up for those we love in the best way possible.
What if everyone in your organization owned that goal?
Reflection Question:
Could you or your organization benefit from shifting the focus to being the best version of yourself?
Big Announcement Next Week:
I’ve been working on creating a culture and leadership course. Check it out!
| (Article was originally released in December of 2018) Last spring, the Villanova men’s basketball team blasted the University of Michigan 79-62 to win their second national title in three years. During the net cutting ceremony, a reporter interviewed several of the Wildcat players. This video, while long for some (7:53), is my favorite clip of 2018. We get a raw peak at an elite culture. Here are my top ten takeaways from the video: Villanova’s Championship Culture: 1. Win with People: The players reference “the great group of guys” seven times in the clip. The word “love” is mentioned three times. Talent is important. The blend of the right talent and great people creates champions. 2. Gratitude is Present: The player’s easily and frequently used: “thank you,” “please,” and “sir.” You could feel their gratitude for being a part of something special. 3. Defense Wins: Defense and rebounding was mentioned five times. Donte DiVincezo, the tournament MVP, scored 31 points in the game but his first comment was how he had to learn how to play the defensive side of the ball. 4. Face Adversity: You could tell individually and collectively the group faced challenges and obstacles. Adversity will always be there. It’s how groups choose to respond. 5. Role Players aren’t “Role Players”: The second unit of Villanova didn’t just maintain, they brought energy and saw themselves as starters. To win at the highest level, everyone must decide to dominate their role. 6. Selfless: I didn’t hear one person talk about themselves and they were quick to mention others. In fact, you could sense the joy in their voices as they spoke of their teammates. 7. Winning is hard: “There was a lot of hard work and a lot of tough moments. We’ve been coached and everyone stepped up.” Everyone says they want to achieve at a high level. Very few know just how much sacrifice goes into it. 8. Process not the result: It is mentioned twice how they never focused on winning a championship or “blowing someone out.” They did focus on playing hard, fast and together. 9. Internal Competition: One young man, mentions the battles every day in practice. Championship programs are loaded with talented, tough and committed players. If you want to win big, you better be ready to compete. 10. It’s not about any one person: If you want to be a star and receive all the limelight, you probably should avoid a championship culture. The system is the star. You give up a lot as an individual for the ultimate jubilation of winning championships. Very rarely do you get a raw, unscripted video like this. It shows the buy-in necessary to achieve elite level results. Sure, this video and article have a slant toward basketball but many of these characteristics are found in high functioning organizations in every field. Please feel free to get in touch if you’d like to discuss with me further! |
As a collegiate baseball coach I work mainly with 18-22 year old males. As a former person in this demographic, I can assure you young adults do dumb things. Sometimes really dumb things.
When incidents occur there is a great deal of frustration. There is often pressure to remove the athlete or to impose a strong punishment. If your punishment doesn’t please the masses you appear soft on discipline. Or, worse yet, accusations emerge claiming you only care about winning.
Here’s what people forget, we are dealing with human beings. A human being who, with the right guidance, can make the most of a second chance. It’s much easier to remove a person from the team or organization. Removal has the outward presence of being a disciplinarian or “tough on crime.”
What’s worse? There will be times when you provide a second or fifth chance and you get burned. The critics are even louder when this occurs.
I don’t know if it’s the holiday season or the crazy state of the world, but the importance of empathy keeps reappearing. Below are three stories with short videos centering around second chances and empathy. Click on the title to view the video.
1. The Story of Caron Butler– Butler played 14 seasons in the NBA. Presently he is an assistant coach with the Miami Heat. His success almost never happened. Raised in Racine, WI- Caron was arrested 15 times before his 15th birthday. At the age of 14, he received a year-long sentence. Upon his release, he committed to turning his life around. Less than two years removed from incarceration, Butler’s house was raided by the police. They found crack cocaine and other drugs in an adjacent garage. There was enough evidence for lead officer, Rick Geller, to arrest Butler. If convicted he would have faced a minimum sentence of 10 years. Geller trusted his instincts- he noticed Butler was in complete disbelief. In an unbelievable display of empathy, Geller decided not to issue an arrest. He told Butler, “I hope I don’t regret this.” Geller has been proven right. Butler now owns multiple Burger King franchises, works to bridge the gap between police and communities, and is active in supporting at-risk youth. What if Geller would have decided to charge Butler on that fateful day?
2. Nick Saban on Second Chances– In a press conference in 2014, Nick Saban delivered an epic rant concerning second chances. When players get in trouble he challenged conventional thinking on discipline. “Where do you want them to be? On the streets? Or here graduating?” He then references Mohsin “Moose” Muhammed who Saban coached at Michigan State. Muhammed was arrested for having a loaded gun, which was in violation of his probation from a previous charge. “Everybody in the school, every newspaper guy, everybody was killing the guy because he got in trouble and said he shouldn’t be on the football team.” After an amazing NFL career, Muhammed is a leader in business and the community. He is the President of M2 Foundation for kids, he and his wife have adopted two daughters from Ethiopia, and he is also the cofounder of a private equity firm. Saban ends the rant by saying, “So, who was right?”
3. Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care- this video always makes me pause. It shows how every person is facing their own challenges. It’s a great reminder for all of us to be more forgiving and understanding.
Final Thought:
I get it. The stories above are isolated accounts. There are times when second chances do not work out. The leader is charged with upholding organizational standards . Despite their best efforts to serve the individual, there are behaviors that warrant removal. There isn’t always another chance.
I hope, however, that today’s article gives you the strength to make decisions based upon what you believe to be right, not because of public pressure. Showing support for a person when the rest of the world appears to be abandoning them is incredibly powerful. It’s something that person never forgets. We all need an encourager to stand with us. The critics will always be there….who cares about them.
We are working with sons and daughters, fathers and mothers. As leaders, it’s our job to fight for the culture of our organization. But, we must remember to do it in the most human way possible.
I have made mistakes, received a break, and capitalized on the second chance.
Can you recall a time when you made a mistake, could have been severely punished, and received forgiveness?
There’s a good chance someone showed you empathy. Maybe you’ll have an opportunity to pay the same grace forward.
**Special shout out to coach Adam Mosley of Hoover High School and coach Tom Marker of Olentangy Orange for sharing the Caron Butler video.**
I wrote my first article Thanksgiving week, 2014. Over these five years I’ve written between 140-165 articles. My first year writing I posted on WordPress and I don’t know how many I wrote that year; therefore my count is bit vague. I switched to Mailchimp in 2015 and have produced 139 articles over a four year span. So, I’ve averaged somewhere between 28-33 articles a year. If I were to guess the average length of each piece was between 800-900 words. That means I’ve written and shared roughly 131,750 words!
In celebration of the 5-Year Anniversary I wanted to share the random things I’ve learned:
- There are critics and performers in life- I want to perform and not criticize.
- Taking risks is dangerous.
- Playing it safe and small is deadly.
- Your kids are more likely to become what you do, not what you say- model well.
- Drive fast, take chances- you only live once.
- Your “voice” is the most important thing as a writer.
- The quicker you realize that internal success trumps external success the better.
- Take care of your spouse first, your kids second.
- Minivans get a bad rap; if you have more than two kids buy one.
- Make your present job the big time.
- Being able to self-reflect and evaluate is incredibly hard for most people.
- Those who can self-reflect and evaluate possess a tremendous competitive advantage over those who can’t.
- Sharing my thoughts has increased my accountability.
- Authenticity and vulnerability are attractive personality traits.
- Being physically present with family isn’t as important as society makes it out to be.
- Being mentally present when you are with family is more important than society makes it out to be.
- Competitive sports are one of the last “no spin zones”: stewards of the game must fight to uphold this.
- A high performing team will beat a high performing individual.
- Being a part of a team requires sacrificing a little of your individuality.
- That sacrifice is totally worth it.
- We tend to exaggerate our hardships and minimize others.
- Culture is important but so is talent.
- Leadership is important but so is “followership.”
- People want to help; have the courage to ask.
- If you aren’t curious it’s impossible to grow.
- If you aren’t growing you are going to get run over.
- Data and technology are here to stay but it will never replace human connection.
- Haters are going to hate.
- If you are looking for quick fixes you’ll be searching for a long time.
- Poor diet and lack of exercise manifest physically as you advance in age.
- The older generation always has, and still continues to be disappointed in the younger generation.
- It’s time for the older generation to get over it.
- Always leave it better than you found it.
- Detaching emotionally is important in successful decision making.
- Detaching emotionally from decision making can make detaching emotionally from family and friends more likely. Be careful.
- Stop saying, “I’m old.” You are never old unless you want to be.
- When hiring read the candidates thank you note to the secretary and not the boss.
- Defense wins championships.
- However, offense gets your name in the paper.
- Being busy is a choice.
- Carving out time to think, reflect, and create is worth the investment.
- You are not as important as you think…enjoy yourself.
- Kids haven’t changed, but adults have.
- A funeral can be enjoyable- a life-well lived is inspiring.
- Timing and luck do matter.
- The harder and smarter you work the odds of experiencing positive timing and luck increase.
- Racism still exists and I can’t for the life of me understand why.
- If you are feeling down do something for someone else.
- When your playing career concludes it will be better to be known as an unreal teammate than an unreal talent.
- It won’t mean a thing if you didn’t earn it.
- If you would want it for your kids you ought to do it for yourself.
- There’s nothing like being a part of something bigger than yourself.
A sincere thank you for accompanying me on this journey. The relationships and connections I’ve made or enhanced via this newsletter is incredibly full-filling. Your patience and guidance is greatly appreciated.
I’m just getting started, friends. I look forward to growing and improving in the next five years.
Look for the Helpers
“When I was a boy and I’d see scary things in the news, my mother would say, ‘Look for the helpers. You’ll always find people who are helping.’ To this day, I remember her words and I’m always comforted that there are so many helpers, so many caring people in this world.” – Fred Rogers
I saw this quote and it stopped me in my tracks. Here are my takeaways. I would love to hear yours.
- Place a premium on selflessness. Actively seek to surround yourself with people who have a servant, not entitled, mindset. They’ll be happier and you’ll be happier as well.
- Great people are everywhere. Despite what we see on the news, there are so many awesome people in the world. It’s important to celebrate the goodness in humanity.
- We choose our attitude. Every day, we have a choice to live in a positive or negative state. What an incredibly powerful decision!
Join me this week intentionally “looking for the helpers.” Let’s do our part to be a positive life force.
Ubuntu, Vulnerability and Pressure as a Privilege
Having four small children means one thing… tons of laundry. Usually, I watch “The Office” while folding clothes, but last week I switched it up. I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary: “The Playbook: A Coach’s Rules for Life.” Episode 1 featured the NBA’s Doc Rivers. The program is brilliant. I’ve watched it three times since. Here are my takeaways:
1. Vulnerability Can Be a Superpower: I could feel Doc’s authenticity from the beginning- he’s comfortable with himself. Vulnerability is tricky. Having the courage to open up is hard for many leaders. When executed properly, however, it can galvanize a team. Rivers shared three examples:
- He starts the first meeting with a new team like this, “Hi. I’m Doc Rivers. I’m human, and I’m going to make mistakes.” This statement tells the team, I’m a messy human filled with flaws just like you.
- While coaching the LA Clippers tapes leaked of owner, Donald Sterling, making disturbing racial comments. Doc prepared a speech for the team, but quickly he could tell his words were not landing effectively. He decided to pivot and speak from this heart. He shared his life story which included overcoming hatred. By speaking as a person, and not the coach, the players felt united with their leader.
- During the 2008 season Rivers’ dad passed away. Before leaving for the funeral, he shared stories with the team about his father. He told them he had a simple but beautiful life philosophy: work hard, stay out of trouble, don’t quit, and never be a victim. With Rivers at the funeral, the team played an uncommonly spirited regular season game. After the win, they celebrated like they won a championship. They wanted to win for their grieving coach. Star Kevin Garnett said, “Coach, when you’re sad, I’m sad.”
2. Ubuntu: The Boston Celtics were rebuilding at the beginning of his tenure. However, they were aggressive in free agency and assembled three stars: Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett; all alpha leaders. While at a charity event, a person who was a big fan approached Doc excited about the team. She said the team is going to need Ubuntu to succeed. She told him to look up the meaning of the word; however, it is more than a word, it’s actually a way of life. Ubuntu became the guiding force of the 2008 Celtics team who ended up winning the NBA championship.
- Rivers described Ubuntu like this: “I can’t be all I can be unless you are all you can be. I can never be threatened by you because you are good. The better you are the better I am.”
- Doc received this wisdom from an “everyday person.” It wasn’t a guru or someone with high positional power. Special things occur when we have the humility and curiosity to learn from anyone, at any time.
- I’ve found words like Ubuntu capture the imagination and are more impactful than your typical mission statement values such as: integrity, hard work, commitment, etc.
- In order for any group to maximize potential, individuals will have to sacrifice personal accolades. Being a part of something larger than yourself requires losing a bit of your individuality. As coach Bill Belichick said, “Stats are for losers.”
3. Pressure is a Privilege: Coaching the Boston Celtics comes with high expectations. As Rivers said, they only hang NBA championship banners- winning the division or conference isn’t enough.
- Most people go through life without knowing what real pressure feels like. It’s tough and challenging but it is a reward for the hard work and sacrifice. We need to embrace it.
- While others may run away from a challenge, our goal should be to run toward it.
- While pressure is a privilege, that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Rivers points out, “People think champs don’t get hit; actually this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Champions get hit over and over. They just keep moving forward.”
“The Playbook” was terrific. I laughed. I cried (Doc reflecting on his father got me). I’m looking forward to watching the other four episodes. It’ll make folding clothes more enjoyable.
Rivers delivered one take that greatly impacted me. He mentioned the sacrifice it takes to be a great coach and the impact it has on his family. “I missed a lot of stuff because I was working. I missed their stuff and I was there but I was thinking about work.”
I can relate. Can you?
Reflection, Ask, and Research:
I’d like to share one idea to reflect on, one ask, and one thing to research.
I. Reflection: How can you make the necessary sacrifices to achieve high performance while honoring the importance of nourishing the critical relationships in your life?
II. Ask: Be an encourager. Rivers said General Manager Danny Ainge: “Thought I was a great coach and he never wavered from that.” Be a champion for someone you believe in!
III. Research: Do a search on the meaning of Ubuntu- I think you’ll like it!