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The Play Ball Newsletter: Get in the Arena | 3.20.23

Get in the arena

Life lessons through sports.

3.20.23 | by Coach Mike Deegan

“We have two options: We can be critics or we can be performers. But, we can’t be both.” 

– Author and Public Speaker, Michael Port 

No one wants to labeled as a critic or judgmental.

But that used to be me. I was a critic.

Of course, I wouldn’t have labeled myself judgmental. I would have said I was being observant or learning from the mistakes of others. Really, I was a critic and not a performer.

Performers focus on the controllable

“Controlling the controllable” is a common expression in the sports world.

When do athletes get themselves into trouble? When they focus on things outside of their control. The weather, the coach’s opinions, the umpire, the reporters, etc. They neglect the variables that are within their control. Their inner space. 

As a performer, focusing on the variables we control isn’t just optional, it’s mandatory. For example, when it comes to writing, I must trust in my process, otherwise what I’m conveying will appear fabricated & inauthentic.

I’m at my best when I write from the heart. If I focus on what others may like, or not like (outer space), the writing is not nearly as powerful.

Once the words are on paper, I have to possess the courage to hit send. That’s it. I can’t control anything else. 

Where to start

Start doing. Start making mistakes. Learn. Fail. Succeed. Share your thoughts publicly with the world. Stop critiquing others. Observe other performers.

The Man in the Arena – Teddy Roosevelt

Ask yourself:

What are inner-space behaviors in your profession? What are the outer-space behaviors? 

Do you find yourself frequently critiquing others? 

What is one action you can take right now to become a performer? 

While it’s not easy, many of life’s rewards are found on the other side of fear. 

Pair this article with:

> Are You a Critic or a Performer?

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Life Lessons From One of My Heroes

This summer, Mark Bradley passed away from cancer. Mark possessed a larger than life presence- he had the look of a GQ model plus charisma. 

I met Mark when I was a student-athlete at Marietta College. He participated in the community fall baseball league while climbing the ladder at Peoples Bank. A former Academic All-American at Ohio University, Mark was usually the best player on the field. In addition, he was the color man for the “Etta Express” baseball games. He and his great friend, Johnny Wharf, would travel from Panama City, FL to Appleton, WI calling the games of their beloved home town team. 

When I returned to Marietta to become an assistant baseball coach, Mark had risen to President of Peoples Bank. I always admired Mark and asked him if I could pick his brain about leadership. We had lunch which sparked a 20 year friendship/mentorship. 

For those of you who knew Mark, I hope this is a reminder of how lucky we were to have had him in our lives. For those of you who didn’t, I wanted to pass along his wisdom. 

Speak Greatness into Others

Somewhere around 2009 I shared with Mark an article titled, Toughness, by Jay Bilas. The article defined toughness in basketball. Mark challenged me to write the baseball corollary. I’ll never forget Mark, still in his business suit, on my beat-up front porch going over his edits. It ended up becoming the first article I ever published. 

In 2015, I began sharing this newsletter. I could always count on a response from Mark. Here are examples of his wit, wisdom and encouragement. 

10/31/16 How to Overcome a Slump: “Great writing, Deego. I will be walking taller today. In a work slump, need some hits. As my first college coach Jerry France used to mutter in the dugout ‘double, double, double.’He hated singles and bunts.”

7/17/17 Four Nuggets Learned Leading Camp: “Special stuff, Deevers. You are on a roll.  Every kid is different, just like adults. Some get it, some won’t.”

12/4/17 Look Good, Feel Good, Play Good: “Well written Deego. Going to work out extra hard tomorrow night and add extra hair gel in the morning.”

1/1/18 Attempting to Define Happiness: “I needed a theme for 2018, a rallying cry of sorts….you just nailed it (in Big Red letters):   GOOD”

1/8/18 Sudden Change- Being Your Best Despite of the Circumstances: “Ice storm = GOOD….gives me a chance to be patient behind the wheel, and drive calmly, instead of driving fast and taking chances. GOOD stuff Deego.”

10/15/18 It Takes a Team: “Best ever. Good work Deego. And, you would have been a great financial planner too. But not as much fun……Yeeuuuussss”

6/25/19 Victim or Thriver: We Always Have a Choice: “Deevers- found this in my files today to make sure I was still calibrated with the Allen Love rule of, ‘tell the truth, tell it early.”

11/18/19 How to Take a Butt Chewing: “2 words: Best Ever.”

8/24/20 Whelp, Get a Better Job: “Thanks for hitting SEND. That message needs shared. Just talked to my family yesterday about whining. Whelp, time to get moving and get to work.”

9/8/20 Doing What the Game (and Life) Demands: “Spot on. Brilliant”

1/25/21 Shoot Your Shot: Thoughts on Andy Reid’s Decision: “I remember what one of my long time mentors told me 25 years ago about ‘gut instinct’….actually instantaneous reasoning. Be GOOD.”

1/17/22 Tom Brady, Man in the Arena: “What you wrote is so good. Best ever. Nice work.” (*This was the last one I published before his passing.*)

The world is full of critics. Mark was the opposite of a critic- he was an encourager. He whispered greatness week after week. 

Handling Failure Like a Pro:

We gathered at a friend’s house to meet up with Mark after he stepped down as President of the bank. We were furious. We wanted blood. All of us were customers and we were ready to take our business elsewhere. 

When Mark arrived he was cool as ever. He explained how things go with high-profile positions- it’s part of the territory. He reminded us of the great people who still worked at the bank. He cared deeply about them. It was grace at its finest. 

Headhunters had begun to reach out to him about leadership positions in other cities. He was clear, he and his family were not moving. He was optimistic things would work out.

Mark continued to walk around with his head held high. He didn’t hide. That’s what happens when your job title or status doesn’t define you. Mark was the husband of Tammi, father of Emmie and Gabby, and a friend to many. He was a pillar of the community; his job title had nothing to do with that. 

Circumstances Don’t Dictate Happiness:

In 2009, Mark and Johnny traveled to Texas for our spring trip. Instead of warm weather, we were met with cold, ice and snow. This was also Mark’s vacation; no golfing this year.

I saw Mark and told him I felt bad: “Are you kidding me, Deego? We found this run down barbeque joint. I didn’t think Wharfy was going to make it out alive. It was the best time.” 

While most people whine and complain about circumstances, Mark found the best in any situation. 

Live Like You are Dying

In Tim McGraw’s classic song, Live Like You are Dying,” he references a man who is diagnosed with terminal cancer. The man is asked what do you do when you get the news? 

“I went skydiving, Rocky Mountain climbing, I went two point seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu.  I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter- I gave forgiveness I’ve been denying. I hope someday you get the chance to live like you were dying.” 

So, in the summer of 2021 when Mark learned he had stage 4 liver cancer what did he do?

He worked.

He golfed.

He cherished Tammi and the girls.

He attended Mass.

He enjoyed friends.

He called the ‘Etta Express’ games.

He worked out. 

The most impressive thing I’ve ever witnessed is how Mark handled his diagnosis.

Mark always lived like he was dying. 

Conclusion:

When Mark passed away he was serving as the President of Magnum Magnetics. I received this text from one its founders, Allen Love:

“It’s a void in so many ways. We had him as a friend so he lives on in us! We are all better for having had his friendship. He always left more wood on the pile than he used. He was so confident in his own skin he needed nothing. He was truly interested in everyone around him.  He cared! He would coach people without even knowing.”

Until writing this, I never fully appreciated his impact on me.  Our interactions were never forced, he was just this authentic, awesome person. Mark changed the way I operated. He was coaching without me knowing. 

His favorite article was: Michael’s Home: Unspoken Parenting Advice From My Late Father. The response below is one I’ll always treasure.

“You hit me right with this one Deego. Lost my dad 8 years ago this month. Thought a lot about him in the past week. Still tough. Always will be. Our fathers helped build us into the people we are and will be. Your impact on others is huge. Keep up the good work. 

MB

P.S. thanks for letting me borrow ‘Emmie’s home!’ Which I yell every time Emmie is home from college. Very Special.”

Mike

PS. I apologize for the length of this email. Honestly, I could have written another 1500 words about Mark. In fact, if you are interested send me a note. I’d love to talk more about the lessons Mark delivered. 

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Play Ball: Three Quick Hitters to Jumpstart the Week

Get the Meeting Right

@cousinterry_

CIRCLE BACK. PING ME. KEEP ME IN THE LOOP. #conferencecall #advertising #work #girlboss #media #linkedin #remote #remotework #workfromhome

♬ original sound – Cousin Terry

Getting meetings right is one of the most important responsibilities of a leader. Corporate jargon/coach speak isn’t effective communication. As leaders, we often leave a meeting feeling like we crushed it; meanwhile, the attendees are less than impressed.

Have you fallen into the trap of using buzz words and phrases?

A Reminder for Parents


Being parents of four children 13 and under, Lowrie and I are frequently overwhelmed. Our house is always noisy and messy. The quote below helped me realize how lucky we are to have a vibrant and chaotic house.

“If you’re still in raising children. Know that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon, and that you will, to your surprise miss them profoundly”- Tim Kennedy

Podcast Recommendation

Podcasts have quickly become one of my favorite platforms for growth and learning. I was recently asked, was there an episode that impacted me the most. My answer was the Greg Carvel episode on Driven by Insight.

Here’s a question inspired by Coach Carvel that I’ll ask you: What three words would you want someone else to use to describe your organization?

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Using Social Media for Learning: What I Learned About Joy and Process From Twitter

What are your thoughts on social media? Like most people, I can see the traps. It can be a complete time suck, distort reality, and lead to feelings of inadequacy. If done with intention, however, sites such as Twitter can be great for learning and development. This week, I discovered two videos which shifted my perspective.

Jim Nantz: Joy vs. Fun

Legendary broadcaster, Jim Nantz, joined Mike Gervais on the “Finding Mastery” podcast. In the short clip below, Nantz mentions how before going on air people usually say, “Have fun.” Nantz believes fun isn’t enough. He says joy is the better descriptor: it’s the wonder, curiosity and amazement with the moment.

How are you approaching your craft lately? Could you use joy as a performance enhancer?

Dusty Baker: Lesson on the Process and Not Taking Yourself too Seriously:

After the Astros won the ALCS, the MLB network interviewed Astros manager, Dusty Baker. Despite all of the emotions that typically accompany such an accomplishment, Dusty appeared as cool as ever. The announcers were curious. While everyone else began celebrating after the last out, Baker took the time to write something down. What was it? “I wrote down who made the last out.” Why? “Because I do it every day.” It was a great reminder to stick with the process regardless of the stakes involved. For Dusty Baker, he records the final out: it doesn’t matter if it is a spring training game or the championship series.

My other big takeaway from this interview was his humor. He laughs hysterically about getting “punched” during the celebration. He describes how he buys slugger, Yordan Alvarez, oxtails to keep him happy. He goes out of his way to genuinely praise the performance of their opponents. The clip shows a man who is over his ego. His job as manager is to serve the team.

When asked about social media, it’s easy to see mention all the negative things associated. At this stage of my life, it’s very likely the best tool for my personal growth and development. I hope the clips above added value to your life like they did mine.

Make it a great week,

Mike

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Confidence Choke Points

I caught the ball on the right wing. I was one-on-one with the defender. It had been a rough game, but I had an opportunity in this moment. I jab stepped to left and made a move to the right. There was a clear lane to the basket; finally, I beat my man. As I elevated for the lay-up the defender recovered and effortlessly swatted the ball out of bounds. As I walked past him he patted me on the back as if to say, “I’m sorry man, but I had to do it.” 

Time expired and the tournament ended. It was after my sophomore year in high school; I was playing in the Keystone State games. To make the team was a pretty nice accomplishment. I was coming off a strong sophomore season, and I felt good about myself. Playing against teams from Philadelphia and Harrisburg, I met my match and then some. All of my opponents were bigger, faster and way more athletic. I was a good shooter, but I was shook in this environment. I wanted to hide; my competitive spirit was broken. I reached a confidence choke point. 

The phrase “confidence choke point” recently came into my vernacular. I was reading an article about Dr. Héctor Morales, the Director of Cultural Readiness and Peak Performance Coach for the Pittsburgh Pirates. This segment of the article blew me away.

“You don’t know when you’re going to hit your first confidence choke point. Everything is going swimmingly, you think it’s perfect, you are developing your skill, and then you show up to a particular location and realize that you’re not as good as you thought you were. The downfalls are exacerbated if your mental tools are not in check. You will regress in your competitiveness, you will regress in your ability to battle, and it’s going to take a little bit of time to come back.” 

Being a collegiate baseball coach for the past 17 years I often witness kids entering a confidence choke point. For some young men, this is the first time they’ve felt this experience. Here are some common choke points:

  • High school tryouts at large schools. There’re 20 spots and 70 kids trying out.
  • Post Graduate School
  • 1st Meeting with high-powered executives
  • Presenting in front of other experts

When one hits a choke point the typical reaction is negative.

  1. Fixed Mindset: Poor pitiful me (PPM) kicks in. “I’m just not good enough.” “There’s no way I can be as good as them.” 
  2. Blaming Others: The choke point can’t be the individual’s fault. “The coach over-recruited.” “I don’t have the same resources as the others.” 
  3. Poor Coping Strategies: A confidence choke is a blow to the ego. Many people will gravitate to ways to soothe the discomfort: alcohol, drugs, and negative relationships.

For some, a choke point is the impetus for growth. They use the painful experience to accelerate their future.

  1. Growth Mindset: They see the situation as an opportunity to grow. “I’m not as good as them YET, but I know exactly what I need to do.”
  2. Productive Coping Strategies: They learn positive self-talk, laughter, and develop routines to improve.
  3. Develop a little “Throw Down:” The great competitor will stare this thing down. They will resolve to work harder and smarter to overcome the obstacle.

Thoughts For Parents:
If your son or daughter decides to pursue something with passion they will eventually meet their match. I don’t care how talented, they will encounter someone with equal or better skills. And, there will be an event where they face their choke point. Please know that choke points are awesome- it means they are nearing their edge. I believe our job as parents is to prepare them to bounce back from the setback. A couple things come to my mind. 

  1. Being intentional about establishing a growth over a fixed mindset.
  2. Showing love by making them understand their self-worth is still intact. 
  3. Work to build resiliency: the ability to bend, adjust and bounce back. 
  4. Be mindful not to give into your child excuses. Be in their corner but realize the long-term lesson will be ruined if you interfere with the process. 
  5. Model resiliency. Do as I say and not as I do is ineffective. 

Back to the Hoops Story:
I wish I had a better ending. I didn’t handle my first choke point well. I gave myself the excuse that I couldn’t be as good as the more talented players. In the years that followed I was content knowing I would be a strong player locally but I would never be able to hang with the big dogs. I believed the set-back was permanent.

There’s one more interesting piece of information to this story: these games were played in July- smack dab in the middle of baseball season. I was in the midst of a 40-50 game summer baseball schedule. I may play hoops a couple times a week during that time of year; rarely did I train specific skills. 

What if I would have used experience to train harder? What if I would have realized that I wasn’t in basketball shape? What if I possessed a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset? The positive note is this experience did equip me to handle future choke points more effectively. 

Question for the week:
As a coach or parent, how do you plan on helping your student or child through a choke point?

Conclusion:
Have you encountered a choke point recently? If not, why haven’t you? We watch and evaluate the youth as they face tough situations but as adults we frequently avoid discomfort. 

In full transparency, I’ve recently found myself in rooms (virtual) where choking was an option.  I still battle an inferiority complex.  There are times where I don’t think I belong in certain conversations. While I may choke at times, I’m doing a better job of evaluating the situation in a non-judgmental way.  “If I could do that over, how would I have handled it.”

It’s only a failure if we don’t learn from it.  Choke points make us feel alive.  Let’s go out and get some this week. 

Mike

Last week I was fortunate to have a conversation on “The Good Stuff ” with Kevin Bille. I hope you enjoy.

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Lessons Learned From the 4am Lifting Crew

My alarm is blasting. Blindly and wildly, I flail my arms to turn it off. It’s 3:36am. I stumble to the bathroom, brush my teeth, and get dressed. I head out the door still half asleep. My destination is the “Old School Gym,” to join the 4am lifting crew. 

As you enter the warehouse style building, 90’s and 2000’s rap is blasting. It’s like Vegas- the energy takes over. The gym is grimy. I feel at home. 
During July and August I trained with the 4am crew three days a week. I want to share the lessons I learned from the experience. 

1.    We All Need a Co-Signer: The owner of the gym, Cory Gregory, is a world leader in fitness. G and I have known each other for several years. During the pandemic, I joined his website to enhance my at-home workouts. One day G challenged me, “you need to quit messing around and join the gym.” So, I did. 
I hadn’t trained, trained in years. I was an old dog trying to learn new tricks. Entering the facility was intimidating. G did something, however, that we can all learn from; he put his arm around me and told me to stick with him. Call it what you want: inclusion, belonging, etc. I call it co-signing. Everyone instantly knew I was Cory’s guy. He welcomed me. That’s all I needed. 
I was reminded how important belonging is and how often we forget to be intentional about welcoming others.
What can you do to make a colleague or teammate know they are a key member of your group?

2.Consistency is the Key: Training at 4am one time isn’t hard- inconvenient maybe- but not hard. What is difficult is doing it every day, week after week. The crew isn’t impressed by someone making it for a day or a week. 
Isn’t this true in life as well? It’s easy to have great meet and greet skills. It’s easy to be a good spouse for a year or two. It’s easy to do the right thing every once and awhile. The real ones, the ones who are most impressive, are the people who bring their best selves every day. 
In what areas of your life do you need to be more consistent? 

3.Diversity Is a Competitive Advantage: The 4am crew is an eclectic group. There are professional power lifters, competitive athletes, coaches, professors, construction workers, and financial advisors. One of my favorite members is Joe. Joe spent several years in the Federal Penitentiary and now makes films. The diversity of the group makes it special.
Can you imagine a football team made up with only quarterbacks? A baseball team full of catchers only? Unstoppable teams are comprised of people with unique skill-sets and different life experiences merging together to pursue a shared mission. Much like a gut-wrenching workout galvanizes a diverse athletic team (everyone hurts the same) so does tackling challenging and meaningful work in the corporate setting. Shared values amongst unique individuals is the sweet sauce.
Could your group be stronger with different thoughts and perspectives? 

4.Earn Respect from Effort: I almost didn’t go to the workouts because I knew my max effort wouldn’t produce the same results as the others. I learned quickly that nobody cares. The way you earn respect is showing up and working your tail off. It was cool to have experienced lifters shout encouragement as I went for personal records (which aren’t that impressive).
A lot of time is wasted worrying how others perceive us. There is a very good chance they aren’t thinking about us at all. People admire those who are willing to do hard things. Your absolute best effort is enough.
Where can you earn respect by putting forth your best effort? 

Final Thoughts:I’m now on pause from the 4am crew. This time of year, my work demands I’m sharp in the late afternoon and evening. I’ll revisit the crew when my life cycle shifts. 
I’m thankful for Cory and the crew. I’m recommitted to my health and fitness. I was reintroduced to doing hard things. Also, I was able to experience being coached again. When you’re the one typically doing the coaching you forget how hard that can be. 
Is there something crazy, even extreme, that you’ve wanted to do but for whatever reason you haven’t pulled the trigger? Have you been presented with an opportunity in which you wanted to participate but lack of confidence has stopped you?
This week, I challenge you to do something that scares you. 

Mike
P.S. If you want to learn more about Cory and Max Effort check out the two links below:

Cory G Fitness

Max Effort

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Relationships > Networking: Ten Thoughts on Being Around Wise People

I’ve never liked the idea of networking.  It feels hollow.  However, I believe in connecting and working diligently to forge relationships. I’m convinced that being around wise people is a key to building a full-filled life.  Conversations with people who listen, challenge, inspire and elicit action are life changing.  They have the ability to unlock and unleash potential that we might not know exists. 

Over my life, I’ve often found myself in the presence of people who are highly successful. While I’m no expert, here are some random thoughts on how I’ve worked to create relationships with wise folks.

Ten Thoughts on Being Around Wise People

  1. Do the Hard Work: Read, write, listen, pray, meditate, and spend time in self-reflection.  Without a working understanding of ones values and goals, finding an impactful mentor is difficult, if not impossible.  
  2. Be Open: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”- Lau Tsu. Wise people do not have to be rich and famous- these people are all around if we are intentional about looking.
  3. Courage to Ask: In my experiences people love to help. There are times where their schedules won’t allow but rarely, if ever, are they offended by an ask. 
  4. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare: Time is the most precious thing to wise people, and EVERYONE is trying to steal it from them. When I get the opportunity to connect, I want them to leave knowing this was a worthwhile investment of their most precious commodity. I can do this by creating thoughtful questions that allow them to expand. The best way I’ve found to show I’m prepared is to ask powerful questions.
  5. Zero Expectations: I never go into a conversation expecting a “silver bullet,” a job offer, or any other ego-driven motive. My goal is to be present, listen deeply and enjoy the opportunity.
  6. Add Value: While it can be intimidating at first, I’ve found sharing my thoughts and opinions adds to the relationship. When the interactions evolve into a mutual exchange the real fun begins.
  7. Pick up the Tab: Or at least offer to pick up the tab. Whatever money I’ve spent (even when I didn’t have any) was well worth it.
  8. No Fans Allowed: Most people treat “stars” differently. The people I want to be around don’t enjoy that- they actually want an escape. The goal is to value their humanity not their status. I always remind myself, “don’t be a fan.”
  9. Start Doing: It’s important to act on the advice received. Possessing the industriousness to take action is rewarding to the teacher.  This is a way to separate because most people want a quick fix. The best way to show you truly value the conversation and advice given is to put it into action.
  10. Stay Connected: A one-time conversation is great- but a long-term exchange is when the magic occurs. I like to take the time to send a hand-written note to let the person know how much I appreciate their time. This is not always feasible or desirable, so go with your gut. This is also the perfect time to plant the seed for a follow-up conversation. 

This Week’s Challenge(s):
Is there someone you want to connect with?  This week, ask someone you admire for a phone conversation or a Zoom call.  If that’s too much, write them a thoughtful email.  Being around wise folks is a difference maker.  We owe it to ourselves to actively build meaningful relationships.

Second, is there someone that you can help on their journey?  As someone who’s life has been enhanced tremendously by giving and caring people, please consider helping out. You have the power to change someone’s life. I’m living proof.  

Finally, I don’t want to sound presumptuous but if I can help you or someone you love let me know.  Assisting others find their passion is one of my greatest joys.  I’m here if you need me.   

Make it a great week,

Mike

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Michael’s Home! An Unspoken Tip From My Late Father

I recently watched ESPN anchor, Scott Van Pelt, do an amazing tribute to his father. Scott’s dad passed away in 1988; 31 years later he still feels the pain.  SVP inspired me to share a brief story about my father.  

My dad passed away over 10 years ago in 2008.  He never met our four children; however, he impacts the way I approach parenting.  

I’ve shared this before, we were a sports family and dad was a sports guy: baseball, boxing, hockey and horse racing were his favorites.  We weren’t the overly “lovey” family but you could always feel the love (if that makes any sense).  What I remember most about my dad was that every time I walked in the door after I left for college, and any time after, was his reaction.  He’d yell to my mom, “Mollie, Michael’s home!”

The genuine excitement in his voice still gets me in my feelings.  He’d typically start looking for his note pad where he had written down things he wanted to tell me.  These things ranged from a harness horse driver getting their 1,000th win to some antidotal sport’s story.  

There was no judgment just pure joy to see me.  

A Thought for Parents:
There’s a lot of pressure, often self-induced, to provide a perfect childhood for our children.  Are we providing enough resources to help the kids “reach their dreams?” Are we providing too much and making them soft and entitled? Should we create challenging experiences to make them “tough?”  “Are we saving enough for college?”

After much reflection, I’m not sure any of that matters.  I really believe those things will sort themselves out.  What I do know is that any of my dad’s flaws were washed away because I knew how special I was to him.  Instead of agonizing over how we are doing as parents, maybe it’s just as simple as making sure our kids know we love them.  

Final Thought:
As I move into the most demanding time of year, I always struggle with not being around as much as I would like. Believe me, I’m not complaining, there are folks who have it much worse.  What I will do is make the most of the time with my kids by displaying excitement every time I come home.  My dad did it for me.  It’s my job to do it for them.  

Do you know what I’m most thankful for?  Is it some trip we took together?  Is it a monetary gift he gave me?  No.  

What I’m most thankful for, and what I miss the most, is feeling his genuine excitement when I walked through the door.  

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Leadership Can Be Lonely

We had two big bounce back wins yesterday. While I am proud of the way our team responded, I still had a restless night of sleep.  Here’s what was on my mind:

  • Sadness for the players who didn’t travel.
  • Disappointment for letting my ego get the best of me (from the disappointing losses).
  • Guilt for being gone all weekend. 
  • Second guessing myself for various reasons. 

I could go on and on, but I believe you get the point. 

Leadership can be lonely.  To help myself cope, I used a simple strategy that you may find useful.  I began talking to myself as if I were giving advice to a friend. 

  • “Michael, you are doing the best you can.”
  • “Michael, if you did something wrong, go apologize.”
  • “Michael, I know where your heart is.  We all make mistakes.”
  • “Michael, come here.  Let me give you a hug.” 

Have you noticed that we speak to ourselves completely different than we speak to our close friends?  We would never shame someone we love for a mistake; however, we quickly ridicule ourselves. 

This week, practice self-care.  Do something you love to do even if your schedule won’t allow it. When you make a mistake (which you will) give yourself a break- you’re human and being a human is messy. 

Please do me two favors:

  1. Give yourself the same grace you give to others.
  2. Check in on someone who is in a leadership position.  Chances are they need your support. 

Take care of yourself.

Mike

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Finding Your Sweet Spot

Professional baseball players use wood bats typically 33-35 inches long. Wood bats have a “sweet spot” or “sweet zone” about 2 inches wide on the barrel. If contact is not made on the sweet spot a rattle is felt that stings the hands. However, when contact is made on the sweet spot, the hitter feels nothing. The ball zooms off the bat.  If you were to check the wood bat of a professional hitter, the majority of ball marks are right around the sweet spot. On the contrary, if you examined an amateurs lumber, you would witness marks spread throughout. Pro hitters work in the zone that feels the best and produces the best results. 
Just like a wooden baseball bat, our lives have a sweet spot. The more we can work in the zone that is effortless and produces elite results the more positive the experience. Here are three ways to tell if we are working in our sweet zone:  

Working in the Sweet Spot

  1. Hours Do Not Matter. When I meet a young coach I listen in for how they describe their experience. If they complain about the hours I know they are not working in their sweet spot. If we are in the sweet zone the struggle will actually be to stop working. We can’t get enough of it. 
  2. Feels Easy or Natural. In order to become great, long hours and sacrifice are necessary. Those hours go by much quicker when we have an aptitude for the task. We are more likely to reach a flow state when operating on things that feel natural. 
  3. We’ll Want to Share. When we love what we are working on we want to share it. We find ourselves talking to anyone who is even slightly interested in the topic. The eyes light up and the energy level is heightened when the subject is broached. It takes an intentional focus to avoid overwhelming others with our passion. 

A Word of Caution:

When a hitter makes contact with the ball away from the sweet spot it rattles and even stings at times. It’s impossible to always hit the ball right on the screws. The same thing holds true for work and life: we won’t always be in our sweet zone – sometimes life rattles and stings. That is perfectly normal. I see a lot of people, especially new workers, who are frustrated because they don’t love what they do. They become discouraged or even quit because they aren’t “passionate” about their work. 
If you are not working in your sweet spot it’s ok. Over time, the goal should be to identify your purpose and focus on working in that space as frequently as possible. It takes repetitions and life experience to earn the self-awareness necessary to thrive.  

Final Thoughts:If you are living your purpose and operating in your sweet spot, I believe you have two major responsibilities:

  1. Be a Champion for Another Person. If you are blessed with the ability to work in the zone, you develop the capacity to identify others potential. You’ll witness others purpose before it becomes clear to them. Your responsibility is to speak greatness into them and encourage their pursuits. Everyone needs a champion in life. You can be that for someone. 
  2. Share Your Gift with the World.  There comes a point when you are aware of your purpose. It’s much easier to keep your gift internal. When you share you become vulnerable; criticism and judgment follow. You have to possess the courage to do it anyway. 

Make a difference this week, 

Mike 

Fun Activity:

To find the sweet spot in a wood bat, hold the bat hanging down. Grab the bat just below the knob with the pressure in your thumb and index finger. Have someone tap the bat with a hammer starting at the fat end of the bat. Move your hammer strikes up and down the bat. You will feel a vibration in your fingers until you find the sweet spot. Also, the sound is different.  Try it out and let me know how it goes! 

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