Dear Future Coach of My Kids:
I’ve been coaching for over 15 years and have been involved in sports all my life. To say sports are important to me is an understatement. I believe, when done well, sports have the power to transform lives. I’m not sure to what extent our children will be involved with sports. However, I know that they will need coaching in whatever co-curricular activity they choose: dance, music, theatre, forensics or the arts.
I’m writing today because I want you to hear from me before I become completely irrational. Our oldest child is nine, but I can already feel the “craziness” coming on. Love is like a drug and can make us say and do things we normally wouldn’t. Over the years of playing and coaching I have witnessed pillars of the community (lawyers, doctors, pastors, and teachers) completely out of character when it comes to their children. Even more eye-opening has been my discussion with other coaches about their kids. It’s ironic, the same coaches that complain about over-involved parents are the same ones criticizing and being overly involved in their kids’ activities.
With that being said, I want you to read these words as you work with our children in the future. This is the real me speaking, not the love induced, wild man who isn’t thinking clearly.
1. Honor the Game (or Discipline): Sports have been around for a long-time. We, as individuals, need the game way more than it needs us. My hope is you honor the game and make our children accountable for treating it with respect. In baseball, that means running on and off the field, backing up bases, celebrating teammates’ success and many other small things. It will be easy to look the other way and ignore it; you won’t want to constantly discipline our kids, but please hold them accountable. As a parent, I won’t like seeing my child reprimanded. It will hurt my ego. It’s quite possible I will think you are picking on them. Rational me knows this isn’t the case. You are honoring the sanctity of the game and teaching them that life isn’t all about them.
2. Make Them Earn It: Entitlement can be defined as wanting something without earning it. In co-curricular activities this could be playing time, a role in a musical, or chair in a recital. Chances are you will care about all of the kids you have in your organization. You’ll want them all to be happy and enjoy their experience. This isn’t possible. Also, the beauty of sports is developing work ethic and positive habits. You develop these skills with no guarantees of success; or, better put, no guarantee of success as you presently define it. In advance, I want you to know that I will question your decisions at times. I won’t agree and I may even share with you or others my displeasure. Tune me out. I’m not thinking straight. Making my kids earn their role is teaching them a great life lesson. Please help them to understand that everything is earned and nothing is given.
3. Pursue Excellence: Activities serve a purpose; however, the pursuit of excellence is where the major rewards exist. There will be pressure from me and others to, “take it easy.” Or you’ll hear, “Relax, it’s just a game.” It is uncomfortable for kids and parents to be outside of their comfort zone. However, outside of the comfort zone is where growth takes place. Myself and others won’t see it at the time, but by not allowing average effort, you are teaching a life skill. Please provide an uncommon commitment to excellence. We’ll all thank you later.
4. Play a Role in Their Development: One of the great things about being a coach is helping shape the values and characters of those you lead. Please do not take that responsibility lightly. With that being said, don’t feel the pressure to impact every person, every day. You see, myself and others read a lot. We hear about mentor coaches like John Wooden. Here’s the catch, the books and stories about these great leaders are typically written after their retirement when there has been time for reflection. Don’t be fooled, these mentor coaches made mistakes, had players that didn’t like them, and had issues along the way. Even your mistakes and shortcomings are making an impact. Life is tough and no one is perfect. Myself and others are likely to point out your imperfections. We are projecting on you. Stay strong.
5. Enjoy the Journey: If you get the opportunity to coach, appreciate the beauty. People admire what you do. There will be times, many times, where you will question if it is all worth it. People like me will interfere and make your journey challenging. Try to look at these people and other negative situations as a necessary evil. It’s not you personally. Whoever resides in your seat will feel the heat. Learn to not take yourself too seriously. Laugh often. Enjoy those you lead. Outside forces will make that tough. Don’t allow us to break your spirit. If it were easy, everyone would do it. You are the leader of this expedition. Enjoy it!
Coach, I wanted to thank you in advance for working with our children. I’m going to work hard on myself to be a great model for the other parents. After witnessing so many awesome people lose their way, I just cannot guarantee I will be successful. So, take this letter, stuff it away, and re-read it when you are working with our kids. Just know that you are making a difference and we appreciate all that you do.
Blake Snell had it going. Facing elimination, the Tampa Bay Rays needed a big effort from their starting pitcher. Snell delivered. Through 5 innings he had struck out 9, allowed 1 hit and was holding a 1-0 lead. The Dodgers Austin Barnes, known for his defensive prowess, led off the bottom of the 6th with a harmless single. This brought Rays manager, Kevin Cash, to the mound. He decided to replace Snell with ultra-reliable reliever, Nick Anderson. The Rays did not get the outcome they wanted. Two runs scored in the 6th and by the end of the night the Dodgers were World Series champions.
Cash’s decision almost broke the internet. Everyone had an opinion. The majority of fans responded something like this, “How could you take him out, he’s dominating?” There were also supporters. This camp praised the manager for trusting the data and process that enabled the small market Rays to reach the Fall Classic.
I’m not here to debate Kevin Cash’s decision- he’s a terrific manager. What fascinates me is the process that went into the decision. We can all use this situation to become more thoughtful decision makers.
The Sorting Phase
I’m convinced that countless time and energy went into what decision making expert, Annie Duke, calls the “sorting phase.” Cash, his staff, and front office members analyzed a plethora of scenarios, and there was a plan for each of those scenarios. For example, Cash knew Snell had his “A” stuff that night; it was easy to see. However, he was equipped with Snell’s history of facing an order for the third time (which wasn’t good) and that he hadn’t went past the 6th inning since July of 2019. He also knew the data on his bullpen including Anderson who’s career numbers are ridiculous. Despite Anderson’s outstanding numbers, Cash knew that his vertical movement and velocity were down in 2020 which was troubling.
Reflecting upon a Decision
In the 6th, Cash was faced with the option to stick with Snell or go to his highly effective bullpen. Both options had positives and negatives. Cash made the choice to go to the pen. Did he decide this because because he believed it gave the Rays the best chance? Or, did he make the call because he was following the script and lacked the autonomy to pivot?
Duke, in her book “How to Decide,” reminds us that the outcome is not what makes a good decision; luck plays a major role. I heard Duke on a podcast where she discussed ways to accurately evaluate a decision.
1. Is it luck or not repeatable? In this case, luck was not involved in the process. The Rays were well-prepared for the moment. Luck would look like Cash deciding to bring in a position player to pitch and him retiring the side (which could happen). That would be luck.
2. Was new information revealed that can be included in future decisions? One thing I noticed was the lift in spirit from the Dodgers’ dugout that resulted from removing Snell. The Dodgers, for whatever reason, were really struggling. That struggle led to frustration. When Snell came out, stars Mookie Betts and Cody Bellinger, commented on how they were relieved. Could this have shifted the momentum? Was the human element considered enough?
3. Was there a crucial piece of information that you didn’t go find? Only the Rays know this. It could be something like Anderson was really sore and tired and they failed to take that into account.
4. It wasn’t bad information you just modeled it wrong. This is simply making a poor choice. The information is in front of you and you go in another direction. It’s a miss. Misses happen. I don’t think Cash missed in any way.
If we want to improve, reflection is necessary. It’s looking at a situation and thinking, “how can we be better.” Annie Duke’s suggestions allow us to reflect without personal judgement.
If I were Kevin Cash, I would be considering what went into the decision. Was it bad luck? What information do I have now that will help me in the future? Did I miss anything prior to that moment? Did I make a poor choice with the information in front of me? It’s critical to work this process even if the result turned out in the Ray’s favor.
The question I would ask if I were the Rays front office would be: Are we empowering our manager (and others in the organization) to make a gut decision in a moment where there are two solid options? Did we provide Cash enough psychological safety to make a choice that goes against our typical structure when new information presented itself? Are there any holes in our decision making process?
Final Rant:
“There are only two things that determine how your life turns out: luck and the quality of your decisions. You have control over only one of those two things”- Annie Duke.
Game 6 of the World Series gave me several things to consider. First, I realized how often we fall into “resulting.” We judge our decisions based off the result and tend to overemphasize bad luck and dismiss good luck. It’s a poor recipe for long-term success.
Second, I realized that if continual improvement is my life philosophy then I better develop a system for decision making and reflection. Making decisions without a process is guessing; I can’t allow that.
Third, I was reminded that in this time of uncertainty and complexity, how critical it is for us to get to know and trust in the people in our organizations. As leaders, if we are only interacting with people following a result, which we know are fickle, we’re being ineffective. If we only meet with the student and discuss their poor test result, or speak to the employee following a customer complaint we are missing the boat. This type of feedback is stifling . We’ll create robots, not autonomous thinkers.
Finally, we need to lighten up on others, and more importantly ourselves, post decision. If we do the work in the sorting process we’ve done our job. The world is more random than we think. We are obligated to possess the humility to learn from the experience. It’s the only real way to hold ourselves accountable.
Mike
P.S. Right now, I’m obsessed with the idea of decision making. As you can probably guess, I’m terrible at a party- while people want to argue over the game on TV I’m thinking about what went into the play call. So, if you want to discuss decision making processes, shoot me an email. I’d love to connect.
Ubuntu, Vulnerability and Pressure as a Privilege
Having four small children means one thing… tons of laundry. Usually, I watch “The Office” while folding clothes, but last week I switched it up. I stumbled upon a Netflix documentary: “The Playbook: A Coach’s Rules for Life.” Episode 1 featured the NBA’s Doc Rivers. The program is brilliant. I’ve watched it three times since. Here are my takeaways:
1. Vulnerability Can Be a Superpower: I could feel Doc’s authenticity from the beginning- he’s comfortable with himself. Vulnerability is tricky. Having the courage to open up is hard for many leaders. When executed properly, however, it can galvanize a team. Rivers shared three examples:
- He starts the first meeting with a new team like this, “Hi. I’m Doc Rivers. I’m human, and I’m going to make mistakes.” This statement tells the team, I’m a messy human filled with flaws just like you.
- While coaching the LA Clippers tapes leaked of owner, Donald Sterling, making disturbing racial comments. Doc prepared a speech for the team, but quickly he could tell his words were not landing effectively. He decided to pivot and speak from this heart. He shared his life story which included overcoming hatred. By speaking as a person, and not the coach, the players felt united with their leader.
- During the 2008 season Rivers’ dad passed away. Before leaving for the funeral, he shared stories with the team about his father. He told them he had a simple but beautiful life philosophy: work hard, stay out of trouble, don’t quit, and never be a victim. With Rivers at the funeral, the team played an uncommonly spirited regular season game. After the win, they celebrated like they won a championship. They wanted to win for their grieving coach. Star Kevin Garnett said, “Coach, when you’re sad, I’m sad.”
2. Ubuntu: The Boston Celtics were rebuilding at the beginning of his tenure. However, they were aggressive in free agency and assembled three stars: Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett; all alpha leaders. While at a charity event, a person who was a big fan approached Doc excited about the team. She said the team is going to need Ubuntu to succeed. She told him to look up the meaning of the word; however, it is more than a word, it’s actually a way of life. Ubuntu became the guiding force of the 2008 Celtics team who ended up winning the NBA championship.
- Rivers described Ubuntu like this: “I can’t be all I can be unless you are all you can be. I can never be threatened by you because you are good. The better you are the better I am.”
- Doc received this wisdom from an “everyday person.” It wasn’t a guru or someone with high positional power. Special things occur when we have the humility and curiosity to learn from anyone, at any time.
- I’ve found words like Ubuntu capture the imagination and are more impactful than your typical mission statement values such as: integrity, hard work, commitment, etc.
- In order for any group to maximize potential, individuals will have to sacrifice personal accolades. Being a part of something larger than yourself requires losing a bit of your individuality. As coach Bill Belichick said, “Stats are for losers.”
3. Pressure is a Privilege: Coaching the Boston Celtics comes with high expectations. As Rivers said, they only hang NBA championship banners- winning the division or conference isn’t enough.
- Most people go through life without knowing what real pressure feels like. It’s tough and challenging but it is a reward for the hard work and sacrifice. We need to embrace it.
- While others may run away from a challenge, our goal should be to run toward it.
- While pressure is a privilege, that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy. Rivers points out, “People think champs don’t get hit; actually this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Champions get hit over and over. They just keep moving forward.”
“The Playbook” was terrific. I laughed. I cried (Doc reflecting on his father got me). I’m looking forward to watching the other four episodes. It’ll make folding clothes more enjoyable.
Rivers delivered one take that greatly impacted me. He mentioned the sacrifice it takes to be a great coach and the impact it has on his family. “I missed a lot of stuff because I was working. I missed their stuff and I was there but I was thinking about work.”
I can relate. Can you?
Reflection, Ask, and Research:
I’d like to share one idea to reflect on, one ask, and one thing to research.
I. Reflection: How can you make the necessary sacrifices to achieve high performance while honoring the importance of nourishing the critical relationships in your life?
II. Ask: Be an encourager. Rivers said General Manager Danny Ainge: “Thought I was a great coach and he never wavered from that.” Be a champion for someone you believe in!
III. Research: Do a search on the meaning of Ubuntu- I think you’ll like it!
Talent or Culture- “Collecting Talent or Building a Team”
It was a busy week in sports: NFL playoff’s beginning, college football bowl game recaps, free agency talk in baseball, and college basketball beginning to ramp up. However, the lead story on most sport networks was the Pittsburgh Steelers whose season ended. While most people were watching for the drama, my mind went to the ever present question of talent and culture.
In case you missed it, the Steelers All-Pro wide-receiver Antonio Brown, missed the final game of the season for what was reported as a knee injury. Information began to surface that there was more to the story. Some sort of disagreement occurred on Wednesday at the teams practice between Brown and another player. People are reporting the conflict was with future Hall of Fame quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger. Brown’s growing frustration led him to missing practices and meetings for the remainder of the week. In response, the Steelers suspended Brown for their season ending contest.
That was the “Cliff’s Notes” version of the story. I will also say, what is being reported is probably only 25% of the truth. For this article the details of the drama are not the concern. The Steelers with Brown, Roethlisberger, and running back Le’Veon Bell had three of the most talented football players in the world. Most football experts would agree that the remainder of the Steelers roster was strong as well. The team, however, was loaded with distractions from their top players. Despite a solid record (9-6-1) the team did not fulfill their potential. Did the organization compromise talent for culture?
Talent and Culture:
Talent is critical. In order to compete at the highest level, the physical and mental skills must be present. We can’t trick ourselves into thinking a strong culture and poor talent can win championships. A talented workforce is necessary for success.
A strong culture is paramount for long-term achievement. The organizations that are consistent year in and year out typically have elite cultures. Strong cultures possess clarity in their mission, understand and live their values, and have leaders that fight like crazy to maintain the organizational standards.
I think we can all agree that having elite-level talent within a strong culture leads to incredible results.
The Conflict:
What happens when the talent goes against the culture? What happens when your highest producing employee’s behavior is not aligned with the culture’s values? At what point is there a diminishing return?
The team or organization needs special skills to succeed. The talent is producing results. What should the leader do?
The situation above is maybe the most challenging dilemma a leader encounters. Most leaders, myself included, have been blinded by talent. Talent is easy to see– the results and production are right in front of your face. Culture is more abstract; it’s tougher to quantify the damage being done when the talent is not aligned. With talent, we know what we have and we know how well we’re performing. What we don’t know is how much better (or worse) we’ll be without the talent even though we know it goes against our culture. The fear of the unknown is crippling- it takes courage and faith in your culture to eliminate the problem.
Let’s be honest, an extremely gifted person is going to get more opportunities and breaks than their less skilled colleague. Talent is incredibly valuable; it comes with its perks. The art of coaching and leadership is having the pulse of the organization to understand when the distractions are negatively affecting the organization. Numbers and analytics are important, but the human side will always be present.
Talent will produce short-term wins and gains. An elite salesman will put up numbers and a special athlete will produce wins. If the talent is in conflict with the organizational values, it will eventually lead to long term issues. Another way to put it: talent is short-term and culture is long-term.
Culture trumps any individual. In fact, a strong culture lets organizations take risk on “edgier” talent because they know the group is powerful enough to handle it. The individual will either get aligned with the culture or they will be removed. That’s why you’ll see established cultures, like the New England Patriots, take chances on athletes with a negative history.
The Dilemma:
One of the biggest challenges facing 21st Century leaders is the importance of delivering results immediately. Coaches are under pressure to win now and business leaders are expected to produce numbers every quarter. This often leads to short term solutions such as compromising the culture of the organization. Now more than ever, we need courageous leaders who are willing to absorb short term blows in order to establish long term victories.
Thoughts for Reflection:
In Michael Lombardi’s book, Gridiron Genius, he shares a Bill Belichick quote, “We are not collecting talent, we are building a team.”
Is your organization intentional about building culture and strong teams? Have you ever been blinded by a “strong resume” instead of going with your gut and hiring the person who is the right fit for your culture? Has the talent in your organization ever hurt the ultimate mission?
This week, join me in fighting for the culture of our organizations. Join me in being intentional about team building. Let’s recognize a talented person and appreciate the value they bring. However, let’s also understand that compromising culture will have long-term negative consequences.
Final Note:
I have no idea how the Steelers should have handled their situation. I’ve learned to not speculate on matters where I don’t have the details. I will use the situation to help me clarify my thoughts and beliefs on the challenging dynamics leaders often face.
On the road to leading a meaningful life you can encounter two types of fear: The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and the Fear of Other People’s Opinions (FOPO).
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO):
To pursue the uncommon, sacrifice accompanies the journey. The high school student who gets outstanding grades has to study while others “hang out.” The committed athlete has to get up early and train while her friends stay out late and sleep in. The medical student continues education for years without pay while her peers are earning a living. The ambitious new employee has to work during the holidays while family and friends gather to celebrate. When deciding to get on the path of pursuing greatness “missing out” can become crippling.
Fear of Other People’s Opinion (FOPO):
The barrier that stops most people from living the life they want is the fear of other people’s opinions. A child doesn’t want to play baseball anymore but is afraid of what his parents will think if he tells them. A teenager wants to raise her hand in class but she is afraid to “look stupid” in front of her classmates. The college student has a passion for teaching but the family expectation is to go to law school. You want to get on the dance floor and break it down at a wedding but you worry about what others will think. FOPO robs us of happiness, joy and growth.
The Cost:
If we develop the courage to chase our dreams, we will have to miss out on events and we will be judged by others. However, what’s more concerning, is the price we pay for playing it safe and small, and allowing FOMO and FOPO to stop us from living our best lives. The committed athlete, can choose to attend the big party; however, the cost will be never knowing the thrill of competing on the highest stage. The rising sales person can choose to take a day off to attend a friend’s birthday weekend in Vegas, but he may never get the bonus and promotion that accompanies the hard work. The path to greatness is littered with obstacles. We can’t allow FOMO and FOPO to win.
A Quick Story:
Our daughter, Elizabeth, had her 7th birthday party at the ice-skating rink. There were over 20 kids present plus some of their parents. I haven’t skated since I was 11 or 12 years old. My wife thought it would be best if we had an adult on the ice with the kids. In full transparency, FOPO started kicking in. I didn’t want to be the “big goof” on skates that was embarrassing to my kids and myself. It had to be done, so I hopped on the ice.
After hanging on to the boards for the first 5 minutes, I started getting the hang of it. I fell three times (once really hard….I’m still feeling the effects). However, it ended up being an absolute blast. I felt childlike – chasing the kids around, slamming into the boards like Tom Wilson, and holding the hands of kids who struggled. I smiled and laughed for the entire party.
The ice-skating episode got me thinking, “How many amazing things have I missed out on because of the fear of other people’s opinions?”
Four Things I’ve Learned:
- Those that truly love me and want what’s best for me understand there are times I have to miss events to chase my dreams. Yes, that means the “big stuff” like birthdays and weddings.
- The present moment is all we have. So, instead of focusing on what I am missing, I focus on “being where my feet are.” I attempt to make the present experience a powerful one.
- My leadership and self-satisfaction have increased tremendously since I stopped worrying about others’ opinions. I’ve adopted the motto, “I respectfully don’t care what you think.”
- EVERYONE wrestles with FOMO and FOPO. The best keep moving forward despite their fears.
Final Thoughts:
How many times have you missed out on a big opportunity because you had a fear of missing out? Have you ever let other people’s opinions limit you?
The challenge this week is to be highly in tune with FOMO and FOPO. Develop the awareness to realize when you are limiting yourself due to these crippling fears. Remember, playing it safe and allowing fear to win will feel comfortable in the short term; however, the long-term damage will be severe. Let’s stop letting FOMO and FOPO rob us of becoming our best selves.
Every now and then, sports provide special moments. Friday night was one of those times. I was glued to the TV- the Lakers and Heat were engaged in an epic battle of wills. And, the Tampa Bay Rays and NY Yankees were competing in a series deciding game.
In the 8th inning of a 1-1 tie Mike Brosseau, a non drafted player, stepped to the plate against one of the best closers in the last decade, Aroldis Chapman. Brosseau quickly found himself down 0-2. He battled his way back. Around pitch 7 of the AB, I sat up in bed and told my wife, “we are watching something special.” On the 10th pitch Brosseau put a beautiful swing on a fastball down in the zone and it went out to left centerfield. The unheralded player’s home run proved to be the difference in the series clinching game.
If that’s not enough theatre, let’s rewind to September 1 when Chapman threw a 101mph fastball over Brosseau’s head. The benches cleared that day. There was a noticeable tension between the two teams. The day after being knocked down by Chapman, Brosseau hit two home runs helping the Rays strengthen their lead in the AL East.
Immediately after the game, a microphone was in Brosseau’s face. The team was celebrating and emotions where high when he was asked about revenge. “How does it feel to hit a home run after nearly being beamed in September.” Brosseau stated how that was all in the past; there was no revenge. He was just enjoying the moment with his teammates. Actually, he went out of his way to praise the Yankees, their pitching staff and Chapman.
I don’t know Mike Brosseau but I have become a huge fan of his. His reactions, and especially his teammates reactions about him, make me think he is a special person. Here’s a few things I reflected upon following his big moment.
- Take the high road- Many people thought he should be thrilled to “stick it to” a player who took a shot at him. Really what good would that do? The damage was done. His positive comments about the foe were refreshing and endearing.
Could you look for an opportunity to take the high road this week?
- Find a way to add value: I failed to mention that Brosseau did not start Game 5; he came off the bench. When asked earlier in the season about being a role player he mentioned the importance of being versatile and being ready to lean into his strengths when given an opportunity. He also stated how great it is to be able to add value to a special group like the Rays.
Is there a way to add more value to your family, friends and teams this week?
- You belong: Brosseau was a lightly recruited high school player who wasn’t drafted out of high school. He did not have the pedigree (or signing bonus) of many professional players. But he’s earned the right to be on the same team with some of the most talented players in the world. He’s a big leaguer, just like everyone else in the show.
Do you wrestle with imposter syndrome? Whatever conversation or room you find yourself in this week, realize you belong!
I feel lucky to have watched Game 5 on Friday. The game was played wonderfully- both teams gave fans a treat. I’m really glad to have witnessed Brosseau’s home run and more importantly be introduced to his compassion and humility.
Make it a great week!
Have you ever been in a rut? Life feels like the movie Groundhog Day – you just do the same thing over and over. It’s ok. I know, I’ve been there.
Living a life without excitement is not the goal for anyone. However, many people chase new things simply because they are bored. Exercise routines, careers, hobbies….even marriage, are often abandoned because they have lost the zest.
I challenge you to think about the critical things in your life. Have they become boring? How can you make those things feel new again? How can you do it? Today, I introduce to you “The Born to Run Theory.”
Since 1975, Bruce Springsteen has played his hit “Born to Run” almost every single night. Michael Lombardi, in his new release, Gridiron Genius (click here for the book), emphasizes how, night after night after night, he plays with real enthusiasm and passion. After all those years, and all those performances, it would be understandable if “The Boss” got bored playing his hit. However, whether you saw him play the hit in 1976 or 2016, the performance is always amazing.
After reading Lombardi discuss Springsteen, I started thinking about how this applies to every profession and life in general. Here are a few thoughts:
Focus on the Fundamentals:
We are in the information age. Information is moving fast and furiously. If we fail to adapt and learn we will get steamrolled. It’s impossible to deny this. However, it’s critical to focus on the fundamentals; the basics of your business. For example, data analytics has impacted the game of baseball in a profound way. The use of technology and data is incredible and has enhanced the game. With that being said, the game, at its core, still revolves around scoring runs on offense and limiting runs on defense. When we break it down, it’s really who can just play a game of catch the best. Making the routine play and taking care of the baseball will always be paramount.
To continue “The Boss” analogy, over the years, he kept creating and making new and better music. With repetitions in writing and playing, I’m sure his new songs were better in many ways. It would have been easy for him to leave the old songs behind. He knew his basics – the crowds came to hear “Born to Run” and he delivered. Like great coaches and leaders, he kept improvising but he always knew his bread and butter.
The Best Don’t Get Bored:
Our youth camps are very important to me. We work hard at teaching the basics of the game. It never fails, I’ll have a parent ask every year, “are the drills going to be challenging for my son. He’s advanced for his age. I don’t want him to get bored.” I have to keep a straight face when I hear this. The best don’t get bored; it’s the mundane work that makes the elite the elite. Watch Steph Curry work on his footwork, Clayton Kershaw do his dry routine, or a big-league infielder work on his patterns and tell me again how this may be too easy for your son.
I’ve noticed recently a trend in creating drills that are “fun and different.” Trust me, I’m all for innovating and switching it up, but it’s important to remember that being great takes what it takes. You can’t trick the game or life. Mastering the basics, not just being proficient, should always be the objective.
Enthusiasm Matters:
The Boss is now 69 years young now. His energy, effort and enthusiasm on stage is legendary. I’m sure there are nights when he’s off, when he just doesn’t have it. What’s amazing to me is the crowd would never know it. The older I become I realize that a leader can’t afford to have bad days or be in a bad mood. People are counting on them. So, what do they need to do? Figure out a way to get themselves going. Can you imagine if Bruce or another elite performer decided to let their poor mood effect their performance? They’d have some incredibly disappointed fans. The leader’s job is to charge on despite their feelings.
Conclusion:
What an awesome time to be alive. The ability to learn new and exciting things is more accessible than ever. Keeping up and innovating are vitally important. In addition, I believe the elite leader of today has the uncanny ability to understand the magnitude of mastering the fundamentals as well. As information flows faster, many people and organizations are looking for the quick fix. They are looking for the piece of technology that will instantly make them better. History is powerful. Sustained excellence takes mastering the fundamentals, fighting off boredom, and attacking a task with great enthusiasm.
If we are not careful, we can lose track of the fundamentals; of what it takes to live a happy, meaningful life. To be honest, work can get boring, friendships can become stagnate, and we can take our loved ones (oftentimes our spouse) for granted. This only happens if we allow it.
This week, make the old new again. Take your spouse or significant other on a date and treat it like it’s your first meeting. Examine your business with fresh eyes. Treat your job like it’s your first day as an intern. Greet your child like you did when you welcomed her into the world.
Thanks to The Boss for providing us a leadership lesson on doing the basics extraordinarily well!
Make it a great week,
Mike
Questions to Consider:
- What are the basics of your business?
- Are you attacking the fundamentals with energy and enthusiasm?
- What areas of your life can you re-engage and create a spark?
I’ve been extremely fortunate to connect with many leaders from various backgrounds over the past several years. A recurring theme I am hearing is that new hires, despite having the strong academic resumes, lack mental toughness. They’ve never experienced failure, or they’ve never really been pushed. At the first sign of adversity, they often shrink. Here’s the gap. In our rush as parents and educators to build self-esteem and provide every advantage for our children, we are frequently missing the mark. As a father of four, and as a coach of many more, I understand the difficulty in watching young people struggle. My natural inclination is to protect them. The interesting paradox is that in the struggle is where the characteristics of success are often being built. The process of failing, followed by pushing through and ultimately achieving, is what builds self-confidence. This cannot be created in the absence of struggle.
“How Children Succeed” author, Paul Tough, identified seven strengths that were especially likely to predict life satisfaction and high achievement. We used to believe that these traits were innate. The exciting news is we now know that these skills are learnable. I’d like to share how competitive athletics can help our young people achieve a happy and meaningful life.
1. Grit can be defined as physical and mental toughness; the ability to persevere and overcome obstacles. To play competitive sports, athletes are going to have to have a little “throw down.” On a daily basis, they are knocked out of their comfort zone. In order to meet the challenges, they are tested. Without grit, it is extremely difficult to last in a competitive sports environment.
2. Self-Control comes in many forms: doing the hard right instead of the easy wrong; delaying gratification; and maintaining calm in the face of adversity. To pursue excellence in competitive sports, self-control is a must. Having the discipline to stay focused when many are choosing instant gratification is challenging but critical for the committed athlete.
3. Zest is having liveliness, spark or energy. Ask any coach, the most fun people to work with are the ones who have a little bounce in their step. There are certain people who just lift the energy of an organization as soon as they arrive. For years, I’ve told potential student-athletes and their families, “I want to coach fun, young men who view being coached as a privilege.” Basically, I’m trying to attract people with zest.
4. Social Intelligence is the ability to connect and bond with all different types of humans. This is probably the greatest gift athletes can acquire through competitive athletics. Personally, I thank sports every day for allowing me to meet so many amazing people from eclectic backgrounds. Sports provided me the repetitions to be able to walk into any room and feel comfortable.
5. Gratitude can be defined as being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation. This is one of the four pillars of our program. In competitive sports you learn, over time, to be thankful for everything while realizing you are entitled to nothing. Wins and roles are earned and not given. You learn to be grateful for your opportunities. Choosing to look at obstacles and challenges as opportunities and blessings is the only way in competitive sports.
6. Optimism is an act of faith, a belief in something that can’t be proven. Athletes and teams face impossible odds. Pursuing a championship or elite-level performance is a daunting task. Before any team can accomplish greatness, it must believe that it can.
7. Curiosity is a drive to question the status quo. Top-level teams, organizations and individuals are constantly learning and evolving. There is a constant quest to learn more in order to gain a competitive advantage. The best athletes I’ve met invest in themselves; they take complete ownership of their careers by studying, learning and asking how can I do this better. “Because that’s the way we’ve always done it” is never a satisfactory answer for any elite team or organization. This constant search for new and better ways to do things is a staple of high-achievers.
Some Thoughts for Parents, Coaches and Business Leaders
Parents: I love my kids a lot. I have a blind spot. It’s difficult for me to drive and push them out of their comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be sports, but I want them to find something that fires them up. More importantly, I want them to find a coach or mentor who shares the same passion they do and has their heart in the right place. From there, I’m getting the heck out of the way and letting that person “do their thing.” I don’t care if they are mean, abrasive, sweet or kind – I just want them to help my kids develop the intangibles of happiness and meaning that I struggle to provide.
Coaches: You can’t provide a “good experience” for everyone, that’s impossible. Take a deep dive into yourself. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Self-awareness is crucial. From there, “let it rip.” Kids are going to encounter numerous leadership styles over their lifetime. Give them your most authentic self. They will learn so much (good and bad). The toughest thing about coaching is the benefits provided to the athletes are rarely acknowledged in the moment. Demanding excellence, even when unpopular, is providing a feedback loop for a lifetime. You’re helping create the characteristics proven to lead a successful life. Take pride in that.
Business Leaders: In today’s business environment, especially with the misalignment among Baby Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials, a different level of thinking is necessary. A clearly-defined culture is crucial. Once you have a clear vision for your culture, you can now look for individuals who first align with or can thrive in your culture, then look to the skills/experience. What are the characteristics of high-functioning and successful people in your organization? Once clarity has been created, look to seek out these individuals for hire. Sure, certain skills are necessary, but character traits are critical and often neglected or marginalized in favor of easily quantified attributes (grades, class rank, prior work experience, etc.).
Final Thought
I’m often asked, “Can playing sports negatively affect my grades?” Like most coaches, I used to quickly defend the time allocation of sports and say, “no, actually sports help their performance in the classroom.” While the statement can be true for some, the incredible amount of time and energy put into pursuing athletic excellence can come with a cost. What I do believe, however, is that sports enhance the overall academic experience for the young person. When done properly, sports bring out the characteristics above that lead to true success. Sports force the athlete to manage time, navigate interpersonal relationships, take direction and lead, all while managing the academic rigors. To be clear, it’s not the actual playing of a sport that can assist in building character; instead, it’s the lessons learned pursuing greatness.
Make it a great week,
Mike
As a baseball coach, I get to watch a lot of games at different levels. Hustling on the field is something I learned at a very young age. Recently, I’ve noticed a trend where players are not running on and off the field. At times, it is tough to tell if the inning is over because everyone is wandering around instead of leaving the field with urgency.
A few years ago, I heard a coach say “they’ll walk if you let ‘em.” As an organization we are what we condone. If we allow poor body language and selfish play then that’s who we are. We can have all the slogans and quotes we want; however, if the behavior is contrary to our beliefs then the organization is failing in its mission.
It has become popular to complain about “kids now a days.” Talk to the majority of coaches and teachers they will tell you that kids have changed. They will quickly point out how they are entitled, “soft,” and mentally weak. There is no doubt kids are different today than they were 20 years ago. Here’s my question: When has society not been critical of the younger generation? The likes of TV, Elvis shaking his hips, Nintendo, and the Internet have been threatening to ruin our country for a long time. If we choose to look at this from a different perspective we will see a tremendous opportunity. While others are wasting time complaining we can seek solutions. Below are three ideas to consider:
The Leader Sets the Pace
The team or organization will have a difficult time outperforming its leadership. The advanced leader takes full responsibility for setting the pace. They are constantly driving the group forward. In addition, the advanced leader is acutely aware when the pace needs slowed. It is counterproductive to drive non-stop; people need to breathe. Knowing when to step on the gas or when to pump the brakes is critical.
Give Them Ownership
After my first year as an assistant coach I wanted to make a change in our offensive approach and practices. There was a similar philosophy and structure in place for nearly 40 years and it produced three National championships, six national runner-ups and many All-Americans. I felt I would be a better coach if we made some adjustments (how arrogant of me). I developed a plan and a structure that I thought would be better for the program. After weeks of working on the plan I finally got the nerve to approach Coach Brewer. “Ahhh Coach, I think we could do better with our offense and here are some ideas.” Coach Brewer looked over the material and bluntly said, “We better score runs.”
Talk about not letting me walk! For the next eight years I took the “we better score runs” as “your job is on the line if we don’t produce.” He didn’t micromanage; he gave me ownership. Let me be clear, the success we had in the years to follow had little or nothing to do with a different strategy. However, giving me ownership made me more invested in everything we did- I was all in. From this experience, I learned that setting the pace doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. Instead, setting the pace can be applied by delegating and demanding excellence.
When delegating the leader must possess the confidence to allow creativity. If the people (or players) know the standards they will deliver. Oftentimes, the biggest challenge is staying the heck out of the way.
Demand, Demand, Demand
“A real leader isn’t going to let someone develop at their own pace. One’s own pace is too easy, convenient, and comfortable to reach potential.”-Dave Anderson
Our youth baseball camps are very important to me. As the owner and director I demand a lot of our staff and players who work the camps. For example, upon arrival I want someone from the staff (typically me) to greet each camper. When they enter the field one group goes to the first base dugout; the other, to the third base dugout. There are two staff members in each dugout interacting with the kids and making sure the environment is safe. Here is what I’ve noticed over the years: If I don’t demand the staff begin this process they will huddle around each other and talk. It never fails. They gravitate to each other because it is comfortable. They’ll stand around and talk if you let ‘em.
Being a leader is exhausting. Leadership requires pushing people outside of their comfort zone. Frequently, leaders are demanding more: “one more rep,” “do it again,” “you can give more,” etc.
For me, the hardest thing about leading is resisting the urge to look the other way and accept mediocrity. “Aw…it’s o.k. if the coaches talk during the dynamic warm-up. It’s not that important.” Hogwash! If I see the coaches standing around talking during camp I have to address it. It stinks, but it has to be done.
Final Thought
Yes, kids have changed and new employees are different. It’s time to get over it. What an opportunity! While others complain about the situation we can focus on solutions. It’s on us as leaders to set the pace and drive the organization forward. Remember, “they’ll walk if you let ‘em.”
Set the pace,
Coach Deegan
The term, Mental Toughness, is talked about frequently. In the coaching world, we tend to make quick judgements on our athletes’ mental toughness. When players don’t perform well in so called big moments, they are often labeled as mentally weak. Before slapping a permanent tag on athletes (and people in general) it is important to first define the characteristics of the mentally tough.
Three Characteristics
- Courage: Sports and life tend to favor the bold. The doers. The ones who will take a challenge. The ones who are not afraid of failure, or at least if they are afraid, they decide to dance anyway. It takes courage to overcome obstacles and persist. The pursuit of excellence is filled with challenges. Being uncomfortable and experiencing pain is a possibility; however, the courageous know pain is an impetus for change and being uncomfortable is a stimulus for growth. Courage is a prerequisite for elite performance. Courage allows you to be in the amphitheater.
- Optimism: Is an act of faith, a belief in something that can’t be proven. Optimism is what keeps us going when conditions are tough and the outcome appears bleak. Folks with a pessimistic outlook will generalize these road blocks in a negative way. “Why me?” “I can never overcome this.” A person with optimism acknowledges the set-back back but charges on knowing she can positively impact the future.
- Confidence: The closer we inch toward the pinnacle of our profession the more challenging it becomes to maintain a positive self-image. It’s important to remember that it is our job to construct our self-image and we control our confidence level. High achievers rarely feel “at-their best.” Instead, they draw on their mental skills to win with what they have. Ken Ravizza, who recently passed away, said it best, “Are you that bad of an athlete that you have to feel great to perform well?”
Nearly everyone would agree that mental toughness is critical. We’d also likely agree that the three traits mentioned above: courage, optimism and confidence are admirable. The interesting thing is we do very little to enhance these virtues. Most of us assume these are genetic gifts; that we are born with courage, optimism and confidence. Sure, there are those who may have a certain genetic coding that helps them along the way. I, however, believe that if we are intentional we can sharpen our mental performance much like we can improve our physical skills.
Internal Resume:
What if we became intentional about sharpening our mental skills? What if we sought out ways to train and measure? When we attempt to improve physically we test and measure. Why don’t we do the same thing with our mental skills.
This Week’s Challenge:
First, decide the virtues you would like to either gain or improve upon. Next, find a way to quantify. For example: to increase your courage do one thing completely out of your comfort zone. By doing, and not sitting on the sideline, you will be strengthening your courage muscle. For confidence listen intently to your self-talk and the stories you tell yourself. Are you speaking greatness, or are you using a demeaning voice that kills your self-image? Be aware of situations in your life where you can choose a positive or negative approach. Choose the high road and envision the successful outcome. Finally, journal your findings. Putting pen to paper will enhance this exercise greatly.
Final Thought:
Please don’t sit on the sideline and expect your “mental toughness” to improve. Get in the game and find ways to enhance these critical skills. Also, by being in the arena trying to improve we will make those we lead better as well. It is hard to ask someone to follow if we are not trying to improve ourselves. I look forward to hearing about your journey this week.
Mike