Embrace all the Emotions

Our baseball season came to an end last week.  We lost the regional final game 2-0 to the #1 team in the country.  One win away from the College World Series….so close but so far away. 

It’s hard to describe the ending of a season.  You are going 1000 miles an hour and then it stops suddenly.  For months, everything else is put on pause.  There is no “work-life balance.”  All your energy is poured into the club.  You realize how everyone around you is affected.  You are aware of the sacrifice the coaches and support staff are making and how their families are impacted.  You do everything you can to keep the season going. 

And then, it’s over. 

You experience a wide-range of emotions.  There’s a sense of pride in accomplishing something special.  There’s sadness realizing the group will never be together again.  You get angry knowing a bounce here or there could have led to a different result.

For me, I struggle knowing I let people down.  So many people sacrificed, gave their all, and we failed to reach the goal.  It’s a lonely feeling. 

Please don’t feel bad.  It’s the gamut of emotions that makes coaching and leading special.   

Mike Gervais: “I Want All The Emotions.”

Dean Karnazes, extreme runner and author, was recently on the Mike Gervais Podcast.  Gervais mentioned that if you were to ask, “what do you want out of life” nine out of ten people would say, “I want to be happy and I want peace and happiness for others.”  Both men, however, completely disagreed with this desire.  Gervais said,  “Not a chance am I interested in that.  I want all the emotions.  I want to experience all of them.” 

A Paradigm Shift

Are you over pursuing happiness for yourself and loved ones?  Are you avoiding or protecting those you love from the other emotions that make the human experience special? 

It has become a common reaction to “feel so bad” for someone who is going through a tough time.  We lend an ear, create a social media post, and talk to our other friends about how we feel so bad for that person.  It’s all with good intentions.  We genuinely do feel bad.  What has happened, however, is a culture where we treat anything negative like it is a fatal event.  In actuality, experiencing a wide range of emotions is the beauty of being a human.

For the Sports Parents

As your child advances, they will experience negative emotions.  The more competitive the situation, the fuller the emotional spectrum becomes.  The likelihood of them experiencing happiness all the time is very slim. 

The natural response is to rush to make them happy again.  Before coming to the rescue, I recommend pausing. Is happiness what they need in this situation? Or, should you encourage them to embrace the other emotions that sports provide? I don’t pretend to know the answer; however, I do believe it is important to consider the scenario instead of defaulting to the easy choice. 

The times of frustration and sadness are where the growth opportunities reside.  It’s also what makes sports great!

Final Thought:

Would I love to be competing for a national championship this week?  Absolutely.  Would I rather experience the joy and happiness of a dogpile rather than consoling seniors who have played their last game? For sure. 

With that being said, I’m incredibly thankful to have a job that allows me to experience such powerful emotions…..all the emotions, not just happiness.  There’s something beautiful about laying it all on the line, even if you come up short.  If you’ve been in that space you know the feeling.

Join me this week in approaching life with gratitude- not just during the positive times, but in the negative moments as well.