Get out of your comfort zone: 10 things to do to ‘shake it up’

For the past year, every recruit and family that I sat across from, I deliver this unsettling message.  “At some point, and maybe several points, during your collegiate experience you will consider transferring.  There will be a time when you think you made the wrong choice.”  Why do I believe they will want to transfer at some point?  The reason is we are going to knock them out of their comfort zone.

Being in the comfort zone is extremely dangerous. Please allow me to share an example from sports.  It never fails, every year we are working with one of our players on something new in their fielding, hitting, or pitching.  Inevitably one of the players will respond, “this feels weird; I don’t feel comfortable.”  This comment is far from uncommon and the questioning of the new technique is completely understandable.  However, the response from the athlete from that moment forward is critical: they can go one of two ways:
Response one: They decide to “bite down.” They develop a growth mindset and start to look at the experience as a journey.  There are bumps, bruises and hardships along the way; however, these wounds are only temporary.  A decision is made that it will not be easy, but they will triumph.
Response two: “Poor Pitiful Me” syndrome kicks in.  They start complaining to anyone who will listen.  They will long for their personal instructor, high school coach, or summer coach.  Next, they develop built in excuses: “I can’t hit because they messed me up.”  Eventually a victim’s mentality is formed.

My Advice to Parents:
Many of you who read this newsletter have children, how you choose to handle this situation is critical to their development.  If your child is lucky enough to be in a competitive sports program be thankful.  Your son or daughter’s coach has the ability to challenge and push them in a way you cannot.  Embrace this.  Show empathy.  Explain that you too know what it is like to be thrust into difficult situations; that these situations are extremely challenging.  I would speak of the virtues of courage, grit, and trying new things.  I would tell he or she that I am proud of them for having the fortitude to valiantly attempt new endeavors. Remind them that you love them and that in no way is their self-worth determined by “playing time” or skill competency.   On the other hand, I would avoid enabling and giving them an easy out.  This is one of those “game changing” moments in your child’s life.  Ask yourself two questions: One, what would a more experienced parent do in this situation?  Two, what lesson do I want my child to learn from this?

My Advice to Coaches:
Two things: one, keep pushing.  It is becoming harder and harder to put young athletes in difficult situations.  Many coaches are living in fear.  It is easier not to “rock the boat” than it is to do what is right.  In society’s defense, there have been some horror stories of coaches in the past few years that have made our jobs tougher.  If your heart is in the right place, stay the course.  No one said it was going to be easy.  The following quote from Andrew Wiggins on his coach, Tom Tibodeau should provide you with strength, “He’s going to bring out the best in me.  He’s a hard-nosed coach.  He’s tough.  And that’s what everybody on this team needs.  We need our coach to take us out of our comfort zone.” The second part is we must show empathy.  It’s not easy to leave your comfort zone.  We have to recognize this and realize that it often takes time.  It is important to be slow to label our athletes: “uncoachable,” “soft,” “entitled,” or “lazy.”  Oftentimes these labels are completely wrong.  The problem is we lack the skills and knowledge to reach them properly.

My Advice to Everyone:
Have you noticed virtually everyone agrees that living in the “comfort zone” is not a great place to be?  Have you ever found yourself encouraging others to take risks; however, if you truly self-reflect, you are not following your own advice?  It all starts with the leader.  How can we ask others to do things we ourselves are not willing to do?  Here are ten simple (although not easy) things we can try this week to “shake things up.”

1. Drive a different way to work- Are you in auto-pilot mode? Many times we hop in our car and just begin going. We fail to see the beauty around us.
2. Engage a conversation with a complete stranger: The news and talk radio have many of us feeling like there is no hope for our country/world. This is B.S.  I had an amazing conversation this week that warmed my soul. Give it a try.
3. “Thank ‘em up” At the end of every practice, training session or game we have our players thank each other.  At first it was like pulling teeth; now, our guys love it. Go out of your way to thank others and encourage those you lead to do the same.
4. Read/watch something that goes against your point of view. You normally watch Fox News, watch CNN. Listen to NPR, tune into Rush Limbaugh.Crazy huh? Our country’s biggest issue is an extreme lack of empathy. If you stay in your bubble nothing will change.
5. Pick up a new activity- Love to run but hate to strength train? Stop running for a week and start lifting. Hate to run but love to lift?  Put down the protein shake and start hitting the track.  Have you always wanted to try boxing, grappling, or karate?  Go do it?  What’s stopping you?
6. Wear something different- I find myself wearing the same five polo’s every week? Switch it up? Throw on something different.  Does this sound silly?  Sure.  But try it, it can make you feel alive.
7. Search for professional development opportunities: As a baseball coach, going to a faculty writing workshop was hard.I was a fish out of water. But I loved it. Also, I went to a Tony Robbins seminar last year.  It rocked my world. Try something different!
8. Wake up 30 minutes earlier- You really want a challenge? This is really hard for a lot of people. But is it THAT hard? No.Give it a shot for a week.I bet you end up enjoying it.
9. Count your calories: Keeping track of calories is quite simple (not easy) now with apps and websites like myfitnesspal.com.  Getting out of the comfort zone of eating what I want/when I wanted was difficult for me.
10. Put your phone in another room. Do you really want to rock the boat?  When you are home, avoid being in the same room as your phone f or one week. Pay attention to the greater engagement you have with those in your company.

Conclusion:
Growth cannot occur in the comfort zone.  It’s our job as leaders, coaches, and parents to; first, challenge ourselves and second, challenge those we lead.  The goal this week is to “be aware.”  It takes presence and courage to know if you are “going through the motions” or if you are pressing forward.  We can do this!