Coach’s guilt is a real thing. Long hours and extended time away from your family is a reality. If you make the choice to coach you are going to miss weddings, family birthdays, and other events that are important. Frequently, our profession loses outstanding coaches because of the inability to balance work and family. I’m here to tell you that if you are striving for a work life balance you will never excel in the coaching profession.
Leaving a game: Joey (4), Elle, (2), Rowan (6 days).
What you must strive for is a work-life integration. Our profession does not allow for a “normal” lifestyle. However, that doesn’t mean you cannot thrive as a husband, father, and coach. My family is fully invested in our baseball program. I debrief my wife, Lowrie, every day on the team. She knows the players, we host groups for dinner, and she and the kids attend nearly every game. We see the players as an extension of our family.
Lowrie and the kids at a road game this fall
Sure, most people think we are crazy; however, we believe we have created a great lifestyle. Oh, there are challenges; it’s not easy, but we wouldn’t change it for the world. We work seven days a week and rarely take a day off. But, how many people do you know who truly love what they do?
The work-life balance died with cell-phones, emails, and weekly recruiting events. You will continually feel conflicted if you try to balance your family and work. I know so many coaches that feel they are underachieving as a coach and failing in their most important jobs as a father and husband. It doesn’t have to be this way. Below are four suggestions to create a work-life integration.
Hiking in the nature reserve behind the baseball complex
1. Live within 10 miles of your work. Living close to campus allows me to drop my kids off every morning at school or the baby sitter and pick them up most days. Oftentimes, I will drive home from work, have dinner, help out with baths, and then return to the office for work.
2. Find a way to steal hours. I typically try to rise early (6am at the latest) before the kids get moving (my best work sometimes gets done in the middle of the night). This allows me to answer emails and plan for the day.
3. “Be where your feet are.” If you are with the family be with them; if you are at work be at work. This is definitely the most challenging piece to the work-life integration model. There comes a time when you need to put the phone down and just be with the family. In addition, a distracted coach is an ineffective coach. If you are thinking about things at home while at work your presence will be compromised.
4. Get your family involved in the program. This is the most critical piece to the puzzle. If your family is not 100% invested in your program you are going to struggle. Have your team over for dinner, give the kids team t-shirts, and make sure everyone in the department knows your wife and children.
Coaching is the greatest profession in the world. It allows your family to be intimately close to your passion. Coaches who recognize the importance are the ones who are motivated and most importantly happy.
Of course, marrying a rock star is important. There’s a special place in heaven for a coach’s wife.
Be outstanding,
Mike Deegan
Great blog. I am going to share this with my team in business. Just like there are good coaches in baseball who fail b/c of integration the same is true in business.
Important points that are applicable in both sports and business.
Successful people practice and share the same habits & this blog is something I am going to share with my teammates.
Thanks Coach Deegan
Thanks for the note, Cam! I completely agree there is a huge connection between business and sport. Hope all is well.
Awesome Deeg’s! Tell the fam I said hello. Thx for sharing.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, Westy. Congrats on the engagement- I’m happy for you!!
Reblogged this on Skip Deegan and commented:
The season officially starts tomorrow….let the fun begin.
Thank you!